The visit really screwed me over

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#1 Sep 5 - 7PM

OneoftheEXs

The visit really screwed me over

I was NC and happy, seeing my future with happy and exciting possibilities.

I broke NC when he came, I'm sorry to write again but this is in a diff context. All that I have read here, all the D&D, all the idealization, never happened this time. So little contact and I felt like I'm the one who devalued him because of my anger towards him.

I told my mother I hate him but did not have any more feelings for him but just hate as any person would hate a coworker that annoyed them. I lied. When he said his goodbye to his daughter and me, I was heartbroken. I knew I missed him but never showed him. I was cold as ice because I was still hurt and never got a proper apology. Or maybe an apology will not even work because what I truly want is for us to be together as a family.

How can i still feel this? He replaced me with a skanky OW? Why am I all of a sudden feeling depressed after he left??

#2 Sep 6 - 2AM

Journey

Every time I've seen my exN

Every time I've seen my exN and he leaves I feel depressed also. It is completely understandable and normal to have this reaction. Thankfully I do not have to see him often. Your sadness is also probably tied up with a sense of relief as well. You said you were angry and distant - that takes a lot of energy to maintain and likely your sadness also has to do with letting that go as your narc leaves. Remembering he is a narc helps, but it still hurts. Like Hunter said, the fantasy is gone and we must grieve it. I hope to one day feel complete indifference. Not quite there, but getting closer. You will too!!

Journey on...

#3 Sep 6 - 3AM (Reply to #7)

OneoftheEXs

Today I didn't feel like he's a Narc

Today I didn't feel like he's a Narc.... i can't think straight, is he really or maybe he just wasn't into me. I had a half day with him. i was angry, and now off he goes back to his life w the ow, and me and our daughter here by ourselves. I know i'll be ok, but today, today is tough and i just need some support. thank you guys

#4 Sep 5 - 9PM

lillymarch

It was the death of a dream.

I know how your feeling. My ex-N gave up a beautiful family for a little fun. Now my children have a broken home and we all have broken hearts. After the OW came out he denied everything but continued to see her for 6 months. This is while mourned and suffered. Now, 10 months later he'd like his family back. Well, I will never forgive. Never. To hurt me is one thing but to hurt my children is unforgivable. I still have those feeling of 'want' for my family complete and whole. But, once my eyes were open I could see the years of lies, the years of selfishness, and years of me doing everything and being alone. I practically lived with an invisible person. Anyway, you are not alone in your struggles and we will get thought this!

#5 Sep 6 - 2AM (Reply to #4)

OneoftheEXs

he says he has a boring life

The thing is, he keeps on telling me now he has a boring life. Before he said that to insinuate that he now is in a committed relationship so its boring. He lives with the OW, they sleep in the same bed everyday, thinking about that makes me want to vomit. It is a death of a dream, a dream HE PLACED in my mind and my heart, which he just took away and moved on like nothing happened.

#6 Sep 6 - 3AM (Reply to #5)

Anabelle

Life is always boring,

Life is always boring, horrible, sad, difficult with OW... only she has no idea about this... I bet it was the same with you... only you had no idea about it until the last phase...when he took that dream away... It's your mind, and your heart is still there. :) hugs

#7 Sep 5 - 7PM

Hunter

Because you loved, that's

Because you loved, that's all, he let your fantasy die! Remind yourself who he is! A Narcissist! Hunter

#8 Sep 5 - 8PM (Reply to #2)

Amazed

Great comment Hunter

"Remind yourself who he is, a Narcissist!" I love it!!!! : )

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