Valentines' Day Weekend @ AllAboutHim

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#1 Feb 12 - 5PM

Anonymous (not verified)

Valentines' Day Weekend @ AllAboutHim

Tonight I am going to open a free chat room for all AAH members. It will stay open until Monday morning.

It's Valentine's Day weekend and remember - DO NOT CONTACT HIM JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK 'HE'S CHANGED' or you are AFRAID OF BEING ALONE!

This weekend show YOURSELF some love!
Show other members your love!

Here's some ideas:
go volunteer somewhere... maybe even online!
www.volunteermatch.com

go to a food pantry over the weekend and ask to help pack food boxes! They always need help!

go to a shelter and offer to walk a dog! Give a nice animal some love!

take YOURSELF out to a movie or order some dinner YOU love
go shopping - get new shoes, a new nightie, some ultra great bath stuff (my fav is lush.com!)

rearrange your place, freshen it up with new curtains or new sheets so you aren't reminded of him!

Go get yourself a nice blank journal and start writing... or open a free private online journal. Maybe even start a blog and start getting it out!

Check the Anti-Valentine's Day Forum:
http://www.antivday.com/forum/

Donations
I'm still trying to save for my certification classes (I am on Disability only trying to support myself & 2 kids. Since working at AAH I no longer have counseling clients.) Help me help as many women as possible and defray the cost of my working here at AllAboutHim for all of you!

Send some money that I can pass to our member narcnarcwhosthere to feed the 8 rescue dogs she has. She has NO INCOME other than $200/month in Food Stamps! She has been turned down for SSI and Medicaid and can't even get medical care. If you donate - denote that its for 'narcnarc' and I will see she gets it!

CLICK HERE to DONATE to either of these two things - use PAYPAL button at the bottom!
~~~~~

Chat closed

#2 Feb 17 - 11PM

Barbara (not verified)

unfavoritesister

you NEVER EVER get 'closure' with a Narc... EVER do NOT contact him - it will just suck you back in to some nonsense of his. Stop worrying about it - BLOCK HIM and get out of town & find a trauma counselor IMMEDIATELY! ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#3 Feb 14 - 3PM

Barbara (not verified)

chat

anyone around today? I seem to miss everybody! ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website

#4 Feb 14 - 6PM (Reply to #25)

rache

i sent flowers

to the old folks home along with boxes of cookies.I'm sending the phone back tomorrow.Screw him! Lying bastard.

#5 Feb 14 - 3PM

rache

OMG!

I HATE THE EX N!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE SENDS FLOWERS,CANDy,CARD,NEW GO PHONE AND KING CAKE ETC....but the lying sob is still lying like a rug.I wish he'd drop fking dead!

#6 Feb 13 - 11PM

narcsurvivor

Right on time, as expected,

Right on time, as expected, my ex sends me a text msg, "Happen Valentines!" Yes, he spelled happy wrong. He often spells words wrong as we know most psychopaths do. And this msg comes just hours after he tells me we shouldn't speak anymore (this is related to another post I wrote up here earlier).

#7 Feb 14 - 12AM (Reply to #17)

Barbara (not verified)

DO NOT RESPOND

and BLOCK him ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website

#8 Feb 14 - 6PM (Reply to #18)

narcsurvivor

Can I block his cell phone

Can I block his cell phone number? I'll have to see if I can do that without having to change my number, but if it comes down to it, then I'll do that.

#9 Feb 14 - 10PM (Reply to #19)

MsVulcan500

I didn't want to change my number either.

From what I have read, it depends on your carrier. I can't block calls, but I can block texts. That is all I need because he is too much of a coward to call. I have also heard if you can't block a number that you can set his number to a silent ringer and you won't even know he's calling. You'll just have a voicemail if he leaves one, then you can delete it without listening to it. Hopefully you can block him though, that would be best. Good luck, and NC really does make all the difference!

#10 Feb 16 - 5PM (Reply to #20)

narcsurvivor

thanks for the tip. I should

thanks for the tip. I should be able to set his number to ring silently; same for text msg.

#11 Feb 16 - 10PM (Reply to #22)

TexN (not verified)

Its possible...

You'll have to pay an extra fee but its worth it. The bad thing is, the recorder lets them kno that # has been blocked (& that might really piss him off!)

#12 Feb 16 - 6PM (Reply to #21)

Barbara (not verified)

blocking

I would call your carrier. Tell them you broke off a relationship with an abuser, can they help you block him? you might be pleasantly surprised - worst they can say is no. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#13 Feb 12 - 9PM

breakingfree

Valentine's Weekend

It's just so great to know you are all here and understand. Those are just the words and the reminder I needed. Have the appointment with the attorney to file for divorce next week. Yet here I was tonight checking email to see if he emailed me. I am not even going to check. I love the movie and volunteering suggestions. I hope anyone who feels lonely knows we are all here for you and you are NOT alone. And as others have said - you will be so much more ALONE with him, than you are away from him. This weekend is about love - our love for our families, for our friends and for ourselves! There are better times ahead for us!!

#14 Feb 12 - 8PM

cynthia (not verified)

Love day with a narc?

DO NOT CONTACT HIM JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK 'HE'S CHANGED' or you are AFRAID OF BEING ALONE! Now that is a good one Barbara, we ARE alone when we are with them. Spending Valentines day with a sociopath is like pouring gas on fire. Spending a day of love with someone that cant love how much sense does that make, ha ha I wonder how many narcs around the world will try to make love Sunday and wont be able to get it up? But come next week they will F--k a prostitute and be just fine. LOL

#15 Feb 16 - 9PM (Reply to #4)

helpmefromn (not verified)

I am so mad at myself

I wrote him Saturday after 6 weeks of NC, and said - 'was in your neighborhood and thought of you. hope you are well..' ughh!!!!!!! he didn't write back of course -- he has a gf now, and plus, 6 weeks ago I told him off and hung up on him -- he probably thinks I am psycho. I am so mad I did that, but trying to think that I did it for me and not for him.

#16 Feb 16 - 9PM (Reply to #5)

narcsurvivor

Don't give it another

Don't give it another thought. And should he reach out to you at some point down the line, think nothing of it. Just ignore him. I know I'll slip up also. I've done that plenty of times before. It's like being on a diet; we're gonna slip up from time to time. That's reality. But what's important is that we pick up right where we left off and continue with no contact. It's helpful to have a list of things he did; and to always have this list with you. The next time you feel weak or nostalgic, take the list out, look it over, and be thankful you didn't contact him. At least that's what I'm gonna have to do. I've created lists before but they never stuck for long. Now, though, after he threatened to sue me, I see him for what he really is. And I'm actually scared of him for the first time in my life.

#17 Feb 16 - 10PM (Reply to #8)

helpmefromn (not verified)

It's so twisted, but I want

It's so twisted, but I want him to contact me so that I can ignore him

#18 Feb 17 - 12AM (Reply to #14)

Barbara (not verified)

helpmefromn - here's your help

are you in therapy? have you read the stories here about what happens when we contact them or they contact us? what did you hope to accomplish? another glimpse of pretend guy? or for him to prove he's not a non-human narc predator? BLOCK HIM - if you ignore him it will have NO EFFECT - he's a pathological... for GOSH SAKE BLOCK HIM!!! Your ignoring or snubbing him is not a big deal to these guys. THEY CAN NOT FEEL AND DO NOT CARE!!! STOP NOW AND PROTECT YOURSELF!! - BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#19 Feb 16 - 11PM (Reply to #9)

narcsurvivor

I have often felt like that;

I have often felt like that; after I blocked all 7 of his email addresses, I then unblocked them a few days later. And this time is no different. I can't bring myself to block him again knowing I'll just be wondering if he's reaching out. But I know he will reach out anyway. If not, this week, maybe next week and so on. Another reason I don't want to block him yet is because I want to see if he will try to pull another stunt about wanting to sue me. He's still editing his book so I know somewhere down the line, after he's finished, he will try to reach out to me again about helping him promote his book (I posted about this under, "He's threatening to sue me"). So unfortunately, it's a bit of a wait and see for me even though all it comes down to is I did him a favor and in return, he was going to help me get some exposure. But as a typical psychopath, he has now cleverly turned it around, saying that I should be helping to promote his book. Wow, I just realized he turned it around. This did't occur to me before. Thank goodness for this forum. It's been an eye opener lately!

#20 Feb 17 - 12AM (Reply to #10)

Barbara (not verified)

unfavoritesister

BLOCK HIM!!!! he's still taking up free space in your head!! WHY ARE YOU ALLOWING IT!! how did finding a therapist go? ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#21 Feb 17 - 11PM (Reply to #11)

narcsurvivor

Barbara,

I haven't looked into it but I will. I'm getting ready to go on a short trip in a few days. I'm looking into moving to another city; although now I might have to look for another city because he knows about it and has a brother who lives there as well. I know I should block him NOW and not worry anymore about another attempt to threaten to sue me. But there still isn't any closure on this issue about posting his book stuff on my editing blog. I say that mainly because that's the one thing that is in writing (in email form). However, it's more of a favor between friends than any sort of formal business agreement. I am probably worrying about this more than I need to be. I mean, he did say he's dropping everything and that we should stop speaking. But soon after that, he sends me an e-card for V-day and then 2 texts (purely for torture, since he knows I'm not with anyone). I want him to know (in writing) that I don't want to be associated with him on any level, especially after that stunt he pulled. I want to make it super clear to him that he can have the book review I wrote for him and use it as he wants but to leave me out of it completely. I had sent him a similar email but he ignored it. I want to protect myself from him being able to turn this around and use it against me like he tried doing already. However, if I send him a note now, he will probably respond, "are you stupid or something? i already said we should stop speaking." Help!

#22 Feb 23 - 1PM (Reply to #12)

narcsurvivor

So, I thought my N wouldn't

So, I thought my N wouldn't try to call me since he has never been much of a caller unless I nagged him about it, today he called. After having blocked his texts and emails for the last week or so, I felt so relieved; like a big weight had been taken from me. He called and as typically as an N would be said, "Hey, just calling to see how you're doing. I'm trying to change my ways;" (This after threatening to sue me a couple of weeks ago). Blah blah blah...i think he even threw in an "I love you". So very sickening. I may have to change my number now since sprint does't block calls.

#23 Feb 23 - 1PM (Reply to #13)

Barbara (not verified)

yup

CHANGE YOUR NUMBER ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#24 Feb 16 - 9PM (Reply to #7)

helpmefromn (not verified)

Thanks for saying that -- it

Thanks for saying that -- it helps, because I am my own worst enemy. I make progress, and then fall but luckily not so far anymore -- he threatened to sue you should be written on your cell phone

#25 Feb 16 - 9PM (Reply to #6)

helpmefromn (not verified)

Thanks for saying that -- it

Thanks for saying that -- it helps, because I am my own worst enemy. I make progress, and then fall but luckily not so far anymore -- he threatened to sue you should be written on your cell phone

#26 Feb 13 - 1AM (Reply to #2)

Barbara (not verified)

narcs don't make love

narcs never make love, cynthia neither do socio/psychopaths never... they masturbate with your body love is a word to them... like butter... car... towel... shoe... a word that gets them what they want - warm plumbing... they do not make love... ever... the chatroom is open, btw

#27 Feb 13 - 10AM (Reply to #3)

rache

FEb 14th

my Ex N sent flowers to the house and told the flower shop lady IIF i didnt take them this time that they were hers-he'd still pay for them!Real fking sweet huh?BASTARD.

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