I am writing to give an update. I am finally divorced. When I first got on here and started reading, I shared my story and when my husband found it he was so mad that he posted my entire post on his own facebook page. He was trying to make all of his friends hate me, but was too stupid to realize it would only make them nod their heads and realize what a douche bag he really is. I have not posted because I have been afraid that he would find me again, but now I am not scared. I have been truly NC for six weeks. He has been seeing other women throughout the divorce process, introducing them to my kids, and calling me in between telling me how they don't measure up. I am proud of myself for staying strong, for the most part, and avoiding falling into his trap.
We went to mediation in April, and supposedly had everything settled, but due to an oversight by my lawyer my retirement was not mentioned in the signed agreement, even though we talked about it and he agreed that I would keep all of it. His mom pushed him to take me to trial and try to get it, but since he caused our house to foreclose, my lawyer was able to put together a case to prove that the agreement was fair. He ended up signing five minutes before we were to face the judge. I'm not sure how he was planning to explain himself, but I am so happy to be free.
Having a court order makes it much easier to do NC. It is really limited contact, because I have to communicate regarding the children. It is very hard, but I have not engaged in other conversation since mid July.
Now I am told that he moved in with a new woman about a week or two ago. Did she actually let him move in after knowing him only seven weeks? I doubt it, but that was how long ago he was calling and texting me asking me back. So chances are he has been working on her for a while. She has two sons, (13, 9). Mine with the narc are six and eight. My boys have shared that she has been helping him move his stuff into storage and that their father is planning to marry her. Mind you, they have seen him go though at least six women since December.
I feel for her, but I have not contacted her, even though she tried friending me on Facebook. I trust that she will figure things out for herself. The only thing that bothers me is that my boys are seeing their dad treat women this way, and I don't know who will tell them it is wrong. I have shared my mild opinions without showing too much emotional content to them, but I know my opinion is sometimes outweighed by his example.
What to do? Still looking for answers. Feeling sad and not sure what to do next, but very grateful for all of the wisdom and guidance I have gained from reading on the site.