Update about the suffi priest exorcism

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#1 Oct 7 - 3PM
jen79
jen79's picture

Update about the suffi priest exorcism

I saw him today again. He asked me how I felt now.
I said this holy water somehow did something to me, I can't really hate him anymore the way I did before, it transformed itself more into pity, call it compassion if you like.

He then nodded with a smile as if he expected that to hear.

He said, with this forgivness I step up higher and I release myself from him, like this he said, I dont judge anymore, and only god now is about to judge him.

And he again repeated: he is a bad person, and god will put justice one him for sure!

Then I had to sit with closed eyes, he put his hands on my head and made some massage things (it felt like a head massage) and he sang some things from the koran, that I didnt understand.

Then he spread some holy water on my face and in my mouth.

After that he said, my heart is already sincere, or clean (I dont know the appropriate translation for that). So I guess "the djinn" disapeared already through the holy water I had to drink for 7 days.

He said to me, Jen, stop caring about other peoples opinion, you live this life just once, live your life like YOU want it, do what you want, dont just sit at home reading (how the hell did he know that), meet people, laugh!

He said it is like buying shoes, you try 100 pairs, and maybe there is one that you really like, that really fit, with life it is just like that.

He said stay in that forgivness state, cause thats the door to your dreams and wishes, by not concentrating on HIM anymore.

Then he said, I know you care about your hair not being thick enough (he didnt speak well german, he ment hair falling out - again how did he know that, its not visible!!!), he said I have some lack of iron in blood and I should it dattles, they are good for me.

Well apart from all of this, I have to say, his PRESENCE alone made me feel good. He had this presence of gods love flowing through him, it makes you so warm and loved, his hands on my head, I dont know, I never felt so loved than in this moment.

I wanted to ask him, to adopt me and being my daddy please.
It is good to know good people are out there, good to feel it.
It is a very different feeling to feel unconditional love within someone, someone who creates that from within, without any expectations.

I guess those wholy people have the ability to shift your vibration rapidely just through their own love.

Hugs!

Oct 8 - 12PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Congratulations!

Sufi retreat centers can really be places of healing. It's great you've been able to find peace of mind, and your own closure. You couldn't get closure from the P, but you did from the Sufi priest, who valued you as you are, and is worthy of your trust. He helped you in your time of pain. Spirituality is immensely healing.
Oct 7 - 8PM
moonshine
moonshine's picture

good for you jen

Good for you..jen. I am happy that you are feeling better.
Oct 7 - 4PM
Qing Yuan
Qing Yuan's picture

I think it's great that you

I think it's great that you have had such a spiritual experience that has delved you so deep into healing your self! It's truly uplifting to read this! Grow and heal and flourish and thrive! And briseis is right about being who you want to be! It's taken me years to get that and be somewhat happy in my own skin! Be safe and grounded in that information because it's good information! X
Oct 7 - 3PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

That is a trip that he knew

That is a trip that he knew about your hair issue LOL! I think we can write down his words and they'd fit right into the growing literature on how to survive and thrive after life with a Narc. And then . . . how to survive and thrive PERIOD. This won't be our only rodeo. I wish I had a real daddy like him, too. You can adopt him, you know. You can remember his words the rest of your life. You can "imagine" what he would suggest to you on various things. He's really right. Other people's opinions are something we can take or leave. Since we are social creatures after all, they DO matter, in a general way. For me, it's a matter of WHO'S opinion matters. My exNarc's opinion? He can't find his ass with both hands. Now my boss's opinion matters, her opinion of my job performance. But her opinion of me as a person? Pffft. Nope. See how as an adult, we pick and choose WHO'S opinion we honor? There's no right or wrong here. If you shuck off someone's opinion of you and they turn out to be right . . . well, you'll find out eventually :D . We can always self correct. Thank you for sharing this. There is great emotional power in ritual, it reaches through to parts of us that all the books in the world can't.
Oct 7 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
jen79
jen79's picture

I think what he ment

he has read in me, thats a very personal BIG issue for me, I think he just saw that in me, I am the youngest of 4 daughters from a violent childhood...and my whole life I cared too much about what other people think. He said that, to make me free, when I have haircut, when I think about my new carrier, when I think about what I want, do I really want a house, a dog and kids, or is this just implanted seeds from family and society, I am in constant doubt about that. And he knew that, he said that even last week...my soul has no ground he said, everyone wants to have apart of it, but I am not stable enough... I never know who is talking in my mind, my mother, my sisters, my gf, the N - I am never sure. I studied law for 6 years, because I wanted to proof my family and a former ex that I am smart...and I didnt finish, cause thats not my thing, I was good in it, pretty good student, but it was never mine. I felt whole time, I pretend I am being somehting that I am not. Now I have to find a new carrier, and I dont want to waste time and energy again on something, that is not mine. In the time with the N, I was 100 procent sure, I must be an actress...you get my point, cause he is an actor, I started painting, cause he is painting...well thats a good thing. But I was never free in my decisions... The suffi priest said as well: Jen , never allow someone to take your pride away. Be genuine, and let no one take that away from you.
Oct 7 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

OK, I really get that :) My

OK, I really get that :) My mother and my sister, even my darling grandmother who's still alive, are still "children", ungrown women, doing what they believe is expected of them, or fighting against it. What about what WE want? Maybe I just want to swing in the trees and wear a leaf over my crotch. Finding that purely personal expression, while respecting the boundaries of others and the expectations of being an adult is quite the interesting process. It is amazing and liberating, as well as being frightening. I have lots of animals, and frankly, I like to live with animals. I mean, in my house. Yeah, there's a lot of constant cleaning, but I don't seem to mind. My pet geese come in at night and sleep in their beds in my bedroom. I have a chicken who sleeps with me too. My duvet is very washable. I also have a baby possum I rescued that I'll turn loose when she's big enough the dog won't eat her, and SHE lives in my room, too. Did you know possums use litter boxes like a cat?? :P I KNOW for a fact people are horrified. But you know what? I LIKE IT. It is me. It feels right. I don't care about having a Martha Stewart house, even though I was raised to think it was "right". I don't color the grey out even though everyone else I know does. I honestly don't care. It's not rebellion against arbitrary beauty standards. I just don't . . . really care. There is so much stuff I've chucked out that i tried to "be" for so many years. And it was never me. Find yourself, because you really are there. That's where our real happiness is. It has nothing to do with what we HAVE, it has everything to do with being who we ARE. And everything else . . . lovers, friends, careers, whatnot, seem to fall into place around that. I can say this from personal experience :)
Oct 7 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Briseis

Having geese and chickens in the bedroom took me to the edge of understanding .. please explane further , i dont get it , i want to get it , i have a cat sleep on my pillow at night...I know this may sound shallow but how can you have geese poop in the bedroom ?..... theres a question i didnt think i would be asking today... i love this board !!!
Oct 7 - 6PM (Reply to #7)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

I appreciate the question,

I appreciate the question, please ask away :D Sorry Jen, I'll keep it short. First, you keep Walmart in business by purchasing almost their entire inventory of doggie peewee pads once a month. You also buy a "baby jail" and some waterproof something for your floor. You put the geese in there with their water dish and a little food. And clean it all up in the morning. Repeat at bedtime. They have done this from birth (well, hatch) so sleeping in the house at night is normal for them. They play outside during the day in their safe yard. They are pets, so I can pick them up, love on them, hold and pet them, just like any other tamed creature. The poop is a small price to pay for how much I love them and the pleasure of their company. They are just a non potty trainable pet.
Oct 8 - 3AM (Reply to #8)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

I love the thought of the

I love the thought of the geese coming inside to bed after a day out side ... its just tooo cute :)
Oct 7 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
jen79
jen79's picture

Briseis you dont know how much

you dont know how much this means to me that you said that: "Find yourself, because you really are there. That's where our real happiness is. It has nothing to do with what we HAVE, it has everything to do with being who we ARE. And everything else . . . lovers, friends, careers, whatnot, seem to fall into place around that. I can say this from personal experience :)" It is good to hear that from someone's experience and not just a book telling me that. I totally love the way you describe your house. I love animals so much, maybe there are the only ones I felt unconditional love from. Your chicken is sleeping with you, that's sounds so great!!!! And an opossum!!! Wow, I heard, that rabbits and chinchillas can learn how to use cat toilet as well!
Oct 7 - 3PM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

good news, now go live your

good news, now go live your life