I feel I have been miserable all my life.My father was an N,I then had three relationships two of which I married they were all Ns each was worse than the other.I didn`t realise till the last that the first two had been abusive.I think that is why I sometimes wonder if they were Ns but they were.The only one I obsess about is the second one I have a daughter with him it`s not that I love and miss him,I hate him I hate all of them for what they`ve done to me.It`s because he takes no responsibility for our daughter,she is 13 so she`s at a difficult age anyway,he so badly wanted her yet he never asks if she needs anything,maintenance is £5 a week.He promises her things and then lets her down.She still puts him on a pedestal and he can do no wrong.I have to deal with the crap.I do try not to let it get to me,I know I`m just having a bad day,and I`m writing this to get it off my chest.I just want to be happy.

Goldie's picture

You are looking at your patterns and their origins. This takes courage. Once we can begin to take the focus off the narcs and their screwed up patterns and put it on us; the changing part of the healing process can begin. In the beginning we are in so much pain that all we can do is to focus on them, as we clear up and begin to heal, and are ready to look at us and how we need to make better choices moving forward, we are on our way. Changing life patterns is not easy and can be equally painful to look at and for awhile when you first begin to delve it can appear like a big giant trash heap. As you begin to sift through the rubble and do a thorough house cleaning and keep what you need and discard the rest, the sun does begin to shine again and you come out of it with a new uncluttered perspective. You are on your way because you are talking about your own happiness now and this is the beginning to finding it. God bless, Goldie
madashell's picture