understanding what motivates the Narc

14 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Oct 2 - 7AM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

understanding what motivates the Narc

From my friend Briseis .. Sick it up on your mirror girls to remind you!

He is what he is. His goal in life is fresh meat, hey? He's a disgusting whore.

I hate to hear you allowing your mind to be contaminated by why he does. The answer to that is obvious. He's a perverted, womanizing wanker who wants a warm hole to stick it in.

A really good question for YOU is . . . why are you so preoccupied with such a disgusting boil on the ass of humanity?

Oct 2 - 3PM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

Lisa E. Scott - This is true evil

Lisa you are so right and I applaud you for perservering and publishing. We have so much to thankyou for, the book and this forum have made a bigger impact and helped more women than the church ever will. Thank you for not compromising and trying to be popular. Thank your publishers too from me. I may send a fiction work their way.
Oct 2 - 3PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

OMG

The one passage where I curse and use the profane language and imagery gets toasted as inspiring :BLUSH: The more NC you get under your belt, and the more you work with the recovery tools Lisa and Betty have put together, the more OBVIOUS it becomes that the Narc is equivalent to a pile of dog crap on the side walk. You don't bend over and SNIIFFFFF it deeply, or poke your finger in it, or scoop it up and take it home with you. You step over it and say "GROSS." They are wingnuts, pathetic human losers, and destructive beyond belief. And we waste our lives trying to fix them, or fix ourselves into some deranged parody of ourselves to please them. It is a crime what we do to ourselves. And the punishment for the crime goes on and on and on . . . as long as we commit the crime.
Oct 2 - 11PM (Reply to #12)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

I respect the BM more...

I think of it this way--there are such things as SINCERE deathbed conversions. God is capable of turning the hearts of the self-centered, promiscuous, dishonest. It's the "Amazing Grace" we sing about. STILL- I will NOT put the rest of my life on hold for another person's deathbed conversion. I will NOT kill myself for another person's deathbed conversion. Look at Milarepa (the Buddhist saint), Augustine, and Paul. They renounced lives of persecution, black magic, revenge, and promiscuity. But it's a God thing. We're not God.
Oct 2 - 3PM (Reply to #11)
shortway
shortway's picture

You don't bend over and

You don't bend over and SNIIFFFFF it deeply, or poke your finger in it, or scoop it up and take it home with you. You step over it and say "GROSS." Perfect!
Oct 2 - 10AM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Why we get preoccupied

I dealt with a cerebral Narc, so he wasn't into sex. He didn't pressure me into having sex... I never saw his apartment. We get preoccupied because we CARED, we had REAL FEELINGS, then hurt without apology. I've been reading the book "God's Perfect Child",and the Christian Science Church (not Scientology) has caused a great deal of pain because it REFUSES to admit to causing a great deal of suffering. The refusal to acknowledge the pain, to admit the guilt, has added insult to injury. There are the Twitchells, who lost their son to juvenile diabetes, because Christian Science practitioners denied routine medical care. A man in Santa Rosa, California, was excommunicated because he got dialysis for his fatal kidney condition. In both cases, the "Mother Church" refused to acknowledge what it had done. It's that we want apologies, we want justice, we want an admission of guilt... come Hell or high water.
Oct 2 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

well, then theres the entire

well, then theres the entire catholic church and its pope who refuses to face or apologise for the rape of thousands of children ( still ongoing) within the walls of the churches while the parents attended service inside the priests were abusing the children at catecism classes. There is macro evil like this never acknowledged, or any kind of forgiveness asked for, and then then theres the micro kind when a narc refuses to see the pain he cause to his partner. They are one and the same, simple EVIL.
Oct 5 - 7PM (Reply to #8)
hooklineandsinker
hooklineandsinker's picture

Don't get me started on the

Don't get me started on the fucking catholic church. I'm Irish and the psychological/physical/emotional devastation they have caused in my country is beyond belief. I'd invite you to google the Ryan Report (culmination of an investigation into the treatment of children in the care of the church in Ireland for decades, written by the High Court judge in charge of the investigation - absolutely bang up job and respect to him for that) but I wouldn't want to make you all so sick you won't be able to sleep at night.
Oct 5 - 7PM (Reply to #9)
hooklineandsinker
hooklineandsinker's picture

For those of you who want to

For those of you who want to visit Ireland, please be assured that 95% of the population were equally sickened if not downright traumatised by the content of this report, so it's not as if we're still all under the thumb of the church or anything. You will find Irish people warm, friendly, fun-loving and welcoming. It's just that for decades we (well when I say we, I mean older generations than myself, thank God) were emotionally raped by them just as a classic narc emotionally rapes and confuses his victims. So don't be put off coming here! In spite of (or perhaps because of) this pernicious influence on the national psyche going back generations, we know how to shrug it all off and have a good time!! Any excuse for a party or a sing-song, that's the Irish for you!
Oct 2 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

The Church

Simply put, Narcissism is the "Abuse of Power." At the LA Book Expo in 2008 where I found my publisher, none of the publishers I tried to talk to were at all interested in publishing a book on narcissism. Most of them suffered from it themselves! No joke! You should have seen the look of disgust I got from some publishers when presenting my book to them. One guy handed it back to me and said, "Psssh, this is the reason my sister-in-law gave for divorcing my brother" and handed it back to me with a look that could kill. Interestingly enough, it wasn't until I met some very progressive LDS publishers that anyone wanted to listen to my story. These wonderful men (my current publishers:) are interested in building awareness on narcissism because they see it as a problem in their church, community, families and workplace. They see women in their own lives struggling as a result of being subjected to narcissistic abuse. These men are true leaders as they are courageous enough to acknowledge this phenomenon and build awareness in their community. In their religion, they commonly refer to narcissism as "Unrighteous Dominion." If you refer to the Blog Post on "What the Bible says about Narcissism" you will find the definition of narcissism according to the scriptures. My point to this long story is that it's a shame how some religious leaders abuse their power. There is a high correlation between narcissism and religious leaders and it's quite sad. It gives all the good leaders a bad name. Attached is a link to an article I found interesting on the subject. As the author states: "The church as an institution needs to confess a pattern of genteel toleration of leaders who are motivated more by their own ego needs and less by the call to serve." I couldn't agree more. http://www.kinnon.tv/2007/04/narcissists_the.html
Oct 2 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Seeing femininity as a threat

While the ex-Psych professor used religion as a tool and hated males/females alike... there is a common, disturbing thread of seeing women as a threat. In "Preventing Homosexuality in Children",Dr. Joseph Nicolosi claims that if fathers showered with their sons and compared genitalia size, had strict gender roles, and basically treated feminine qualities (such as compassion, understanding, being emotional) as inferior... little boys would grow up to be attracted to girls. Talk about D&D'ing femininity in the early stages of life, then expecting boys to idealize it later on(!!!) It does beg the question as to what's more narcissistic- homosexuality or homophobia? In "Raising Boys",Dr. James Dobson says similar things. How DARE mothers bond with their sons! I know gay men who respect the feminine, aren't misogynistic at all.. then there's the ex-P who hated women, but also hated men too (especially gays) It's kind of odd when the same people who condemn homosexuality as narcissistic promote narcissism... as long as it's within a heterosexual context. Francis Cardinal George of Chicago played the victim when he said that if a drunk priest were "in love" with a teenaged girl and took advantage of her,it would be bad, but if a priest took advantage of a teenaged boy, he'd be EVIL. There's a book called "Why Matter Matters" and the author says that God found the consensual homosexuality in Sodom WORSE than gang-rape of Lot's daughters. One looks at Islamic fundamentalism... in those countries, homosexuality is punished with death or torture, but women/girls are treated as chattel.
Oct 3 - 8AM (Reply to #6)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Thanks

FooledNoLonger - Thanks for your message! Yes, my publishers are wonderful people! I'm so glad they see how critical it is to build awareness on narcissism and reach out to those who are recovering from the aftermath of a relationship with this type of person. If you ever want me to forward your work to them directly, let me know. I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can! Briseis - OMG, LMAO - I love the dog crap analogy. Susan - Wow, very good points you make. Thanks, as always, for sharing your knowledge.
Oct 3 - 12PM (Reply to #7)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

This made me sick

Recently, in Catholic World Report, in a letter to the editor, a person lambasted the faith of a woman who had been raped by a priest by a young girl. The woman said she no longer believed in Catholicism, but still believed in Christianity. The person lambasted this poor woman, saying, "She doesn't know her Catholic faith. The Catholic Church contains sinners, but does not sin." It took A LOT of nerve. This woman had been RAPED-violated as a child- and she's the one whose faith is attacked. As for the priest who violated her? He got off easy. There's nothing more tasteless than attacking victims.
Oct 2 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
Mariline
Mariline's picture

You are so right, Susan.

You are so right, Susan.