So, I can honestly say that for the past week, the Xwhateverhe is has hardly crossed my mind. Some how last week, I felt a renewed sense of myself. In a way I feel lucky that I've had many struggles that I've had to "pick myself up" from all my life which I think may be the reasoning behind having such a great week and not really giving a flying shit about him, ow or the lies he told everyone to make me look like a psycho and keep them away from me. But TODAY is a completely different story.
And today's story is NOT that I am "spinning", have been "triggered", am "missing him/us" or anything like that. No, TODAY's story is that I am so PISSED that I gave up so much for someone who was worth so LITTLE!! I mean, I was up and down angry about this from the discard but I think a LOT of that was clouded by the "I miss him" crap I was sulking about!!
NO, today is totally about WTF happened to MY life and WHY did I allow someone else the opportunity to make me lose so much??? At this point, I wouldn't give a squirt of piss to put him out if he were on FIRE!!! And as shallow as this may sound, I'm so not missing him/us as much as I'm missing my stuff, my furniture, my dog and everything else I had to give up just to give him what he wanted, which was for me to leave!! It may seem a little shallow but at this point, the loss of my material belongings mean MORE to me than the loss of whatever it was I had with him!!
Grrrr, I'm so angry at myself today!!
I hope everyone else is making it and having a good day............hugs all