Try to put yourself inside of their head...when they give you silent treatment
Try to put yourself inside of their head...when they give you silent treatment
I was driving home today, apparently...nothing to do. :P So, I started pondering about narcs...and why some of you on here, have mentioned that they do horrible things...then, cut and leave you. Without a trace. Then, they resurface again in a few months to hoover.
I was reading today on another site, an article about psychopaths and narcs. I will post it here later, if I can locate it again. It was excellent. It talked about how narcs' view of love is such that when needs/wants are met (unreasonable needs)...they view that as the person loving them. If the needs/wants are not met, they don't feel love from that person. Not for that person--FROM that person. That's key. Let me give an example.
Before breaking it off with the guy I was just with...he would OFTEN say...''If you loved me, you wouldn't have said that.'' ''If you you loved me, you would have remembered what I told you about calling me at work, and wouldn't have done it.'' See? How he equated my lack of love with my lack of doing something he asked.
So, going with this. Think about the narcs that up and disappear on you. You then go NC, but it hurts like heck because they are in essence going NC, on YOU! So, you want to reach out and so on. I truly think the reason they do this, is because their needs are not being met. Not that you are not meeting them...but they are insatiable, these people. So, they leave. They look for new supply, ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. I have seen many of you say here...I can't believe he could just dump me and take up with someone else. Keep in mind, there probably is no love with this someone else. That person is just new supply. So, once that person fails to meet their needs...they will be back. Thus the hoovering.
Thus...this is why we MUST be vigilant in not believing their lies of ...Oh, I missed you so...take me back, babe. No...they don't miss YOU. They miss old supply. Their old stand by who's always there for them, supplying them with ego stroking, sex, and what not. DON'T FALL FOR THAT. OK? I learned tons from this article today...and hoovering is nothing more than a vulture coming back to see if there's any more meat left on the carcass they left behind. Seriously.
Just food for thought ladies. Stay NC...Because he will be back hoovering you most likely...and don't take it personally. He's (or she) is just not capable of anything better. But, we deserve better! Off to work out! :=)
Nice! What you are writing
Alisa
But heres the obvious thing
gettinbetter
You are right on D...great
KG
That is so funny.....how lame
KG
You're funny D! My N would
Here's the thing Deidre if
sick of it
sickofit
Deidre