Triggers and Dealing w/Them
Triggers and Dealing w/Them
Well, yesterday I was on the wrong end of a bad trigger. It was very minor, but I was still surprised by my immediate, visceral reaction. The trigger was a friend saying how a mutual friend of ours had passed CharlieSheenWinning in the city where he's now living with WinningWife. My friend told me this because it was such a small-world moment. In a huge city, our friend passes CSW on the street of all people.
The effect of hearing this was immediate and like a bayonette to the gut. My thoughts began to spin out of control: He's moved. He's really moved. He's moved for her. He's still with her. He loves her. He'll always love her. He'll always be with her and love her forever and ever and ever!
In the meantime, I've been involved for the past month with a very nice man who treats me well and is showing no signs of narcisissm. (Believe me, I'm *looking*!!!)
So here's what I did. I let the knife-wound of hearing about CSW and Wife and all of that process. Then I thought about my current boyfriend who is kind and decent. And *then* I thought of where I was when I joined this board. At that time I couldn't sleep, eat, or leave my house.
I'm still trying to gain the weight back that I lost, but I do believe I've gained my sanity back. The reason why I wrote this is I hope it helps someone else who reads it. Moments of pain and oh-my-God-he-loves-HER/HIM-not-me still pop up no matter what your situation, I guess. At least for a while. But when/if that happens, do a where-am-I-now assessment and compare that to where you were when you were with the narc.
Then thank your lucky stars that things have changed.
{{hugs to all of you}}
I've been in two very long
Excellent observation and
Journey on...
I am constantly dealing with
Trigger suck.
Lobo I still crackup when I
"Fright Lights, Big Shitty"
LOBO, look how far you've come!
spinning
Cheers!
You know it!!! I'm glad we
Okay, the *really* funny part?
Wow, well at least you had a
You're so right