tricks and lies- how gullable were you?

When my ex-Psych professor did his lecture on Wittgenstein, he put the date as 1998. After all, there are copies of it in the college library. One LITTLE problem... the lecture was given in 1996. He said that 1998 was when he was going to publish it(?) Turned out he didn't publish it till 2001. Somehow he thought he could bend the time/space continuum. It's not as if he were traveling through time with Dean Stockwell.

We lived in the same building. I liked to sunbathe in the communal garden which narc's flat (with then fiancee) overlooked, he used to come down and talk to (profile) me there. He turned up at the meditation class I went to and posed himself as a spiritual person. Asked me to give him a lift home. Declared how he did not want to marry his fiancee. After a big argument with his fiancee and she went away to see family, he came on to me like an oil slick. I am ashamed to say I fell for his charms but then went overseas to study and stay with a friend. I almost got away but discovered I was pregnant - he reeled me in with promises of the best family life ever! Sickens me now to look back at my own naivety, the red flags had bloody foghorns attached to them! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran "That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

My ex-Psych professor made a BIG DEAL about how ethical and compassionate he was, being a vegetarian. Turns out he stole the routine from one of his professors in grad school. He was quoting her the whole time... and NEVER gave her credit. One of the minor scandals my freshman year was that my ex-P was caught at a local fast food joint wolfing down on hamburgers. Not the veggie type. Most students saw his vegetarianism as an act. Except for me. He acted like he was vegetarian because it made him look all compassionate and sensitive... but he did confess to me (in private) that he didn't have pets because animals were scared of him. Yes, SCARED.

Oh i have a good one .... he read me a poem that he said he wrote himself ... he didnt .... hahahahahah what a pillok !

I did exactly the same thing! Believed every word that came out of his mouth (those first months). Part of it was that such an amazing, spiritual and "together" guy would not debase himself by telling lies that could be so easily disproved. Yet that is exactly what he did. The other thing is that I, just because I am the way I am, take people at face value. Probably because I tell the truth about me, I figure that's what other people are doing too, you know? I wouldn't tell a specious lie that could so easily be disproved, gawd!! How embarassing! So I figure other's wouldn't tell them either. When I caught my exNarc in a big lie (as I did, over and over and over again over seven years), at first I couldn't reconcile it. He was so damn wonderful. It must be a glitch, or perhaps I didn't hear him correctly. I was beginning to twist myself, go into denial, squash my gut awareness. Realizing he was a helpless liar, lied when he didn't need to lie, came later. It was fascinating and horrible. When we moved to the little town up on the mountain, where no one knew us, he told the townsfolk he was a DOCTOR. When a new acquaintance mentioned this to me, I was so shocked I went stupid. I confronted him at home about the lie, and he was a little quiet, but he didn't defend himself, or confess he was afraid no one would like him unless he was this big deal. He just went blank on me. It was one of the first times I saw into him, and it was like looking into a black hole. Nobody home. The other part of the realization was "my part" in this, and it came after I'd done some healing. I too told a story of my life that was carefully crafted to "please" other people. Because I did it automatically, I was blind to other people doing it back to me. As time goes on, I have concluded every human being alive on Planet Earth is crazy LOL!! We are purely human beings, and we want to be loved and admired. It's part of our social biology, we can't help it. We are imperfect, foolish, do stupid things. But we want to be accepted by each other. So . . . I watch peoples BEHAVIOR. If I want to know them, who they really are, I watch what they DO. I listen to what they say, but do not necessarily take it as a gospel truth. I don't tell the "gospel truth" either, I too want to be loved and approved of. So why would anyone else? It's OK. What people DO is what we survivors need to pay attention to, in the aftermath. It is absolutely fascinating to watch people differently, rather than just listen to them and take them at face value. There are people who I may have originally not "liked" who's behavior is so full of integrity that I would have missed a really good person :) . And the others, who talk a good talk and wreak havoc behind the scenes, who I would have fallen for.

They are masters a deception....Dont feel bad that you did not see through the guise. We had no reason to question. Normal people dont. Once the mask is off and things come to light it is shocking. You have gained so much insight and knowledge into the life of the disordered. When i began to see the reality of what it was, it began a new journey for me. I look back and i honestly do not think that i was told the truth about anything from him. Nothing matches up or makes sense. I could list for days story's and actions that on outward appearances seemed normal but looking deeper after he showed me his Narc face, I can clearly see it was just all part of the show. Noting was real, not even the time of day with him..xoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

when i said to a friend i must be so guillable, she said no, what it is you take thing,s at face value, cos you dont lie you dont expect other people too.but if and when i find someone out in alie, i pull them on it and i go on and on and on, it usually end,s with i think you got hold of the wrong end of the stick, i still say, no i didnt, and unfortuntly once i find someone out , i never believe a word they say again.