Traits of a pscyhopath .

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#1 Aug 27 - 4AM

Scoop

Traits of a pscyhopath .

No contact is the key to healing . Even having a tiny bit of contact with a psychopath gets you more than youre fair share of abuse because you have starved him for so long he needs to get as much supply from you in a very short time , he goes into feeding frenzy mode and you come out of any interaction with him feeling drained and shattered .
The trouble with a Psychopath they look and sound so normal , on first inspection , when i first met my narc i would have said he was the one of the most together person i have ever met but by the end of the relationship i knew he was the most mentally ill person i had ever met .. How can they seem to be one thing and trun out to be the complete opposite ? The answer isnt rocket science , the answer is he was acting , he was acting from the minute he woke up in the morning untill the moment he went to sleep .. How exhausting must that be for poor little narc , his whole worlds a stage ( Will Shakespeare) and how true that is .
A psychopath will have a diffrent persona , taylor made for everyone he knows ,for you , for his mum , for his best friend, for the office , for the church , for the milkman right down to the cute girl in the corner shop ,all of them diffrent , all of them carefully crafted to manipulate as much supply as possible from each victim .
It takes months , years even to truely grasp the fact that there are people walking around us that are so mentally ill that if they ever did get to see a good psychiatrist that doctor would have to lock them up and throw away the key , but the statistics speak for themselves 1 in 25 ... 1 in 25 people on this earth are psychopathic ,that means we have all met one most of us have met one too many and thats why we are here . ..

Heres a good read on narcissistic traits by Joanna Ashmun .
http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/traits.html#contra

Big Love Scoop xx

#2 Aug 27 - 11AM

Littleone

Great post as usual

Great post as usual scoop. But what do you do when you have a child with one? NC is not possible. How can we fully heal then?

#3 Aug 27 - 3PM (Reply to #9)

Jelickuk

Hi littleone I have 2

Hi littleone I have 2 children with exnh aged 10 and 12 and it is horrendously difficult I have broken nc a thousand times around the children and regretted it each and every time. I also have used the children to get info on him and to hear what he's said about me, again decoying myself. I am slowly learning to have brick wall boundaries around him. It's very early days and I still make mistakes but this is what I try and do Never instigate any conversation about him with the children. They worship him and if I say anything negative they love him all the more despite him treating us all like shit Put clear days and times of when he has contact with children. He is not allowed on my property and must wait for the children at the bottom of the garden. I will not talk to him. Even texts and emails turn me into a quivering wreck and so a friend has agreed to reply appropriately on my behalf and only aout the children. Also I have learnt to choose my battles, this is a hard one. He won't pay for what he should. Pushes boundaries, turns up early or late loses things, makes arrangements directly with the children and talks enormous shit. In the past I would challenge and argue. Now I do nothing. I document everything and let it go. When I argue I end up feeling dirty and crazy. I have a long way to go, I still constantly ruminate and wonder how he can be so horrendous. But I will survive and I will enjoy the day he falls apart, because it will happen but I also hope that when t does I just want give a shit Much love x x

#4 Aug 27 - 3PM (Reply to #10)

Scoop

Jelikuk , check out Hunters

Jelikuk , check out Hunters post on Thomas Sheridan NC just posted , he talks about co parenting and how to handle it . The turth is in time you will stop the contact and asking the children about him because like everyone who bangs their head against a brick wall eventualy they stop doing it because it hurts . also in time and reading on the subject you will find something wonderful happens .. you will find you dont give a flying monkey on what he is doing or thinks .. its ture, you will. I know you are suffering now and the pain seems to be going on for ever but follow NC and keep email only and it will ease up soon . Big hugs to you tonight Scoop x

#5 Aug 27 - 2PM (Reply to #8)

Scoop

Having a child with a narc is

Having a child with a narc is realy hard but people do heal even if they have to have communication , the key to this is email only communication and to keep the email just about your child . When droping the child off never make eye contact with the narc and never engage in an conversation , if possible get a trusted friend or family member to handle drop offs for you in the early days . This can be done although it sounds drastic i know many memebers follow this method of NC and it works well . The narc will try his best to get you to talk to him and can use the child as a way in the door but as long as you keep your narc attack radar up and running you can normaly sniff out a hover . The fact is a narc is funderamentally lazy and will eventualy stop trying to get your attention , when he realises the games up and he knows you are no longer a sorce of supply . Never give him any energy and he will go looking for his fix somewhere else .It can take some time for his little brain to get you have stopped playing but even the stupidest narc will get it after a while .. xx

#6 Aug 27 - 10AM

Layla

First paragraph SCREAMS "Truth"!

"No contact is the key to healing . Even having a tiny bit of contact with a psychopath gets you more than youre fair share of abuse because you have starved him for so long he needs to get as much supply from you in a very short time , he goes into feeding frenzy mode and you come out of any interaction with him feeling drained and shattered ." Thank you Scoop. You always hit on the right way to say something, that is always so true.....I love the links you post I always learn something new. love- Layla

#7 Aug 27 - 9AM

freaked

so true :( Thanks scoop

so true :( Thanks scoop :) huh.. when i met him .. he was so fantastic...kind of like a made-to-order husband. but...he didnt know me at all..nor my folks...how how how did he tailor himself so accurately...right down to taste in music, fav authors...frightening this is.. almost as if these creatures have some kind of sensors implanted in them!

#8 Aug 27 - 8AM

onwithmylife

Scoop so true

Great post, when i met the man years ago, thought he was great, calm, collected, in charge, felt so comfortable with him, like a good old pair of slippers, and to know now just how mentally ill and sick he is with his NPD, it was all an act and a damn good one ,but now i know he is living the life of a hermit in a tiny town, where no one really knows him, retired from work and life and no longer has to put on an act, he must be Mr. Hyde 24/7.Maybe he is living in his own HELL,, one can only hope so............he use to tell me how exhausting it was to be in a relationship with me, like blaming me, now I know because he had to fake an act all the time when he was with me, that would be exhausting to never be REAL!!!

#9 Aug 27 - 6AM

Nemesis

Scoop

Scoop, you are absolutely right! The narcissist/psychopath is the archetypal "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing".

#10 Aug 27 - 6AM

aceonelady

thanks Scoop....

Knowledge is Power...to heal.

Aceonelady

#11 Aug 27 - 8AM (Reply to #2)

uk lady

Thanks Scoop

Wow, that took some reading but so makes perfect sense.

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