Toxic people
Toxic people
Well.. I keep reading about narcissism..wondering about my husband. Wondering about the Jekyll/Hyde, the alcoholism, the abuse. My counselor thinks he may be bipolar, but in reading about abusiveness in general...one can be bipolar, one can be an alcoholic...one can even be a bipolar alcoholic and still NOT be an abuser. So whatever his other problems, he is verbally and emotionally abusive. And odd. He has always chalked up a lot of insensitive behaviors to having ADD. My N told me that was a crock of shit and he got away with murder blaming it on ADD (funny how my N could see right through that ;) )
I lived with my H for about 18 months before we married (we were engaged for a year of that)...we did premarital counseling..everyone thought we were a great couple. We had an awesome honeymoon in Mexico. Came home..and he said, and I QUOTE..."I'm the husband now and this is the way it's gonna be." He proceeded to tell me everything that was wrong with me and needed to change..which boiled down to two things: Everything I Said, and Everything I Did. He followed me around the house and tried to micromanage every aspect of housekeeping, etc, tried to change my personality. It was horrible. I wanted out after six weeks. I could NOT figure out how I could have made such a huge mistake. I racked my brain for warning signs before getting married. I was 27, not a kid. We lived together...he KNEW what I was like. It has never added up. We fought tooth and nail for a year, and then at about the 1 yr mark he settled down.
I stayed out of my religious convictions. I can't say I wish differently because I have two beautiful children I wouldn't want to "wish away." Things were okay til we had a baby, and whammo, he was back at it, kicking me when I was down. Baby was a huge adjustment. Eventually he settled down again. Had another kid, I was a SAHM. He was self-centered, did some N stuff sometimes, but not unbearable. We did okay til about 4 years ago, when I went back to work full-time. Things have gone downhill since then.
I started standing up to him about a year ago and they are horrible now. He told me he wanted a servant...a Christian servant of course. Who can argue with being a *Christian* servant. ;) He wants me to be meek. He told me over the summer that maybe I shouldn't have gotten married because I "refuse to be broken." What fucking country am I in??? Afghanistan?
We had another fight over the weekend where he blamed absolutely everything on me. He managed AGAIN to twist everything around into me being a spoiled, terrible person, that HE is the victim of...he had me a sobbing mess. AGAIN. It wore off. Today is Monday and I'm remembering that he is a crazy person. He makes me very tired.
better off
"Cry now because you lost him or cry later because you have him."
house is so much cleaner
cleaning lady - LOL
jodie
tired
the N's abuse
thanks. I am hurting very
Betteroff
I think it's a great idea,
better off
LIsa. phone call?
P.S.
Vampires
Vampires
Yes
I guess part of my concern
better off
thanks here as well...you're
better off
thanks Barbara...I
better off
better off