This forum and the Book by Lisa saved me from 6 years of abuse of a female narcissist. I could write a book about my pain and drama dealing with her. I remember reading It's All about Her in one sitting and couldn't not believe how it described her perfectly. Every point was her. From triangulation, ignoring me, to coming around when she needed money. It was like the book was about her. That day broke it off with my Narcissist. She went crazy and yell to f****** leave the room. That is the last time I have talked to her. Three months I have stayed strong with no contact. She has hoovered me in a major way texting me long said emails about how I was her soul mate, couldn't live without me, ect. She has so broken me that I was resolved to NEVER go back.
What is hard for me is I miss the feeling I had when we were together (between all the narcissistic behavior and abuse). Like others have described I felt like the most loved and wanted man in the world when we were together. The sex was amazing and she made me feel like she loved me for who I was. I know now that it was the narcissist way and the devaluation would come, like it always did. But I miss the feeling of being with her. The feeling we would have when we were together. Other people can't fill me in that way. It was like a drug. But like a drug it is temporary and the addiction is destructive.
So here I am three months out and I thought it would get easier but there are times where I miss her terrible and my life feels empty without her. I am trying to hang on with the no contact and remind myself she is a narcissist and she can only lead to pain. I am in therapy and talking to others but I don't think anyone understands till you have been through a narcissistic relationship.
So any advice or encouragement would be appreciated as today I am low and have been for a week.
I have read many of your stories and they give me strength.
Love you all!