To those of you still in the cycle....

Today is my sister B-day, she was 53 when she died. She of health problems, but I know she really died of a broken heart.

My sister was abuse as a young girl, and never moved away from her abuser. She spent her whole life trying to win his approval. So the stage is set for the narc husband....

My sister was spunky, caring, an empath, a smile to die for, creative and beautiful. Really beautiful. She married a man, who was physically, emotionly, fiancally abusive to her. Not the kind, like a lifetime movie where it's fast, but the kind that drips slowly but steady. The kind of raindrops that turn a boulder to a rock in a thousand years, but we are human and it doesn't take as long. She helped get him out of debt, provide a loving home to him, gave up on her dreams for college, encouraged him to get his degree, gave him two beautiful children. But, the beatings were there, from time to time, the quitting of jobs, the porn, the infidility, all hidden from the public. They went to counseling, he played the part well, but he beat her self-esteem down through the years. It began to take it's toll on her, she gained weight, stayed home, drank alone, and then the prescpiction drugs came in. She finally gave up....tried killing herself....then physcial and mental sickness came in full force. I would tell her to leave him, but she couldn't she loved him, and always prayed for a change to come.

Don't fool youself, for those still in the cycle, this experience will bring death to you, physcially, emotionally, and mentally. Maybe just slowly, a bit at a time, but it will come. The snake (narc) will wrap around you slowly, very slowly, till he suffuacates you, maybe leaving you dead in some area. That's what narcs do to us. There no happy story to life with a narc.

I left my narcex-husband, with just the clothes on my back, and my son. No where to go. I have been in other toxic relationships, but I always left. I am just learning to love myself and trust myself. I know that no matter what I left with I left in VICTORY, no one stole my soul, my freedom to live. I may be limping, crawling, crying inside my spirit, but always in VICTORY.

So don't fool yourself, if the relationship is toxic for someone else, it's toxic for you. Love does not equal pain, never has and never will.

I wish you all the best in your journey.

Happy Birthday, Sis, I love you and I feel your presence around me to keep going forward.