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They love dropping BOMBS.. surprise shots in the dark

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#1 Jul 21 - 2PM
blindedbythenarc
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They love dropping BOMBS.. surprise shots in the dark

So.. I thought I got away scott free! My ExN and I dated for one year and eight months, he D&D me for a week.. in the week I put my house up for sale and moved away from the town (where I'd been a reporter) and back to the big city.

While waiting for my house to sell, I had to live with my parents, which was really hard in your twenties. After 6 month ExN manipulated me back into the relationship. 8 months of being with him knowing he was an N eventually came full circle on my mind body and sould and I dumped him.

I was over him in GET THIS 1 Day.. didn't even cry. Life suddenly became fabulous. I have my own place in the city. I'm dating new men, having an amazing summer. Loving my job.. Would go weeks not looking at his facebook..

I was like WOW! Finally I'm free from the chains of the N!! Thank you GOD.. this continued for 2 months...

Until .. MONDAY.. I got on FB to show my colleagues a picture of the fabulous man I went on a date.. and guess what

HE MARRIED HIS OW WHORE!! Like the biggest dumpster slut of the town.. tattoos, kids from drug addicts.. and he's a cop?? He has son! This women has been his OW dumpster for years... he's treated her like garbage. They dated for a few months back in 2005.. She sent him an email of her giving him head while we were dating.. that's how I found out about her.. but I knew it was old and she was crazy!

HOw can he be such and idiot! You can walk into a bar and point to 10 men this women has fucked.
In fact, she was engaged to another man, and living with him.. with her kids

They bought a new HOUSE!! He has no MONEY! They are going to move her 2 kids and his son together after 2 months?? I know for a fact he wasn't seeing her while he was with me or contacting her.

THey trully are monsters.. psychos.. but on top of that DUMB! SO DUMB

I'm giving myself until the end of the weekend to be over it.

I'm a strong girl. But you know.. it's when you least expect it they hit.. and depending how over them you are, the harder they hit. He must have sinced I was going weeks without even thinking about him

Don't let them touch a single area of your life.. Everything they touch turns to drama, disease and most importantly eternal unhappiness.

Jul 24 - 2AM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Of course they get

Of course they get married...that's what they do...and sometimes quite often if it means someone putting up with their crap and paying bills for them. And by the way, don't be so sure this means freedom to any of you. My ex N got married and still had sex with me several times afterwards. I was still so in love with him that I allowed it but what I am saying is it meant nothing to him...nothing that he was married.
Jul 22 - 12AM
Journey
Journey's picture

"They bought a new HOUSE!! He

"They bought a new HOUSE!! He has no MONEY!" I think this sums up what HE gets from the marriage quite succinctly. You are doing very well in your recovery, keep it up!

Journey on...

Jul 21 - 5PM
Gullable1
Gullable1's picture

Good bye

The day my narc marries is the day I'm free. Celebrate his marriage, as you celebrate your dates with fabulous men. Your free.
Jul 23 - 5PM (Reply to #10)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

I CELEBRATED his marriage

The ex-Psych prof KNOWS I did. He received congratulations&well wishes from me. He wondered why I congratulated him on being engaged... he threw a total fit. I KNOW he wanted triangulation... my pleasure came from watching him squirm when I REFUSED to fight his girlfriend for him. He's married... NOT TO ME... thank God! I don't have to deal with his "War and Peace" obsession. I'm FREE! I'm FREE!
Jul 21 - 3PM
bakingfortherapy
bakingfortherapy's picture

Ps....

I wonder if one day I will hear ab N and OW getting married. He's desperate enough, loves her family's money and she is begging for it. She even offered her family's money to get him to marry her. You never know!
Jul 21 - 3PM (Reply to #6)
blindedbythenarc
blindedbythenarc's picture

This OW begged for him for

This OW begged for him for six years.. and as you can see.. he gave in. I think He realized he didn't have any more energy to chase hot things around and desperatly needs his NS..I think he threw in the hat.. he certainly isn't getting anyone at my calibar (educated, 25, no kids, 125, good job) Girls like me can't sleep at night when we imagine forever with a man like him. She might be pregnant though.. What do I know.. I'm far removed... 3 hours away.. What would make him marry her though.. Marry? that means half of his police pension.. retirement. That means being a stepdad do her kids? He hates kids, doesn't even properly raise his own.
Jul 24 - 2AM (Reply to #8)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

HONEY....who ELSE is going to

HONEY....who ELSE is going to marry him? That's why he got married! Enough!!!
Jul 21 - 4PM (Reply to #7)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Throwing in the hat

The ex-Psych prof D&D'd me publicly (I'd be sobbing in front of my classmates/his colleagues), he flaunted his girlfriend after a friend of mine had died. It was a very public, very ugly dumping. He had made me look crazy by moving his seminar from one classroom to another... so in my desire for closure, all he did was run from his feelings. He even pulled the Disappearing Act on his LDR girlfriend who had moved from LA to be with him. "He desperately needs his NS"-The ex-P dumped a student young enough to be his daughter (I'm 15 years his junior) for a curator who was within a couple of years of him (she's 5 years his junior) I think it was out of desperation. "She might be pregnant though"-Around the time I went NC on the ex-P, he got his girlfriend pregnant. 9 months after I left New Mexico, she gave birth. They got married shortly after-he was 37, she was 32. "He hates kids, doesn't even properly raise his own"-The ex-P's parents moved all the way from New England to raise his kids. Amazingly, the ex-P and his wife are still married after a decade (that puts some celebrities to shame) Maybe she's a Narc. I don't know. I'm glad I didn't marry him. One of my friends thought it was weird that a Narc like the ex-P would dump a younger woman (and potential trophy wife) for an older one. To aggravate matters, the ex-P was rumored to be gay. An ex-BOYfriend of his warned me about him. His girlfriend was very butch. I think he had given up, plus having the image of a Family Man is an attempt to erase that rather public, brutal, callous&crass D&Ding.
Jul 21 - 3PM
bakingfortherapy
bakingfortherapy's picture

Blinded no more...

Blinded, I am happy to hear u r doing well. It is true, we move forward and when we least expect it.... Bam! Thoughts creep back in. Mine threw 11 yrs away fir a slore too! Her family has $ and I know that's helpful to him but.. Thus girl has slept w every guy in town and I still hear rumours ab her... And they are supposedly together... Not sure... I am 3 months NC. First off, good riddance Narc a**holes! We are free of them! I also think that my N slore is mb perfect fir him... Possibly the female version of him... Sad, desperate, mixed up. I also think that both our guys love having control and it sounds like these OWs might be easier to manipulate since we wised up!!! Either way remember these Narcs motivation is "what's in it for me?" Yuck!! Great to hear ab ur progress!!!!
Jul 21 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
blindedbythenarc
blindedbythenarc's picture

Who ruins their life in an

Who ruins their life in an attempt to get back at their ex gf? Their son's life!! It's ludicris.. but I wasn't surprised. This is who he is to the core.. It's all about who we are at our CORE.. everything else is just a side version of ourselves. My core has always been HAPPY FUN ENERGY. After being with him, I was none of those things. Once I dropped his sorry ass for good I think he could sense it.. and he thought the last chance he has at getting a rise out of me is marrying her. Well he got what he wanted.. except there's no way in hell I would ever contact him. and I didn't cry.. and I can feel i'm close to being over it. Plus.. now he has to live with a scum bucket whore and her teenage kids.. it's hilarious!
Jul 24 - 2AM (Reply to #3)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

My ex N married another

My ex N married another N...still married after eight years. still the two most miserable people I have ever met and wished I hadn't. I have a sneaking suspicion my recent N will marry the quasimodo wear-the-pants women he was with while sleeping with me. They are very much alike. It would not surprise me in the slightest. and when I say alike I am not saying in looks or that she doesn't take so much pain from him, rather, they both are the nastiest, compassionless, angry two people around.
Jul 24 - 8AM (Reply to #4)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Mutual domination

The ex-Psych prof's girlfriend (now wife) really is the wearing the pants type. (My classmates were less charitable&used a derogatory term towards her) The ex-P was obsessed with "War and Peace." I was reading an online Spark Notes last night, where they're analyzing the first&second epilogues, at one point it says, "Nicholas (Rostov) takes Pierre to task for Natasha (Pierre's wife, Nicholas' sister) dominating him, not noticing that Pierre dominates her (Natasha) the same way." A HEALTHY love relationship is NOT about domination! In "War and Peace",Natasha dominates Pierre, and Pierre dominates Natasha, it's a power struggle. Natasha goes from being a lively girl who sings&has a sparkle in her eye to become a plump, unkempt housewife. She no longer sings. She loses the fire in her eyes. The description of the relationship as domination sounds like... TWO NARCS IN LOVE.