They don't just go away..........

Hi everyone

I thought I would pop in and update you on recent events. I am now nearly a year out of my ordeal and over 7 months NC. I look back and can not believe how my life has changed, so much for the better and can only be ever grateful to this site and the incredible people I have met and allowed into my life. Please see the word "allowed" as that is my biggest learning, I choose now! My faith in myself and more importantly others is restored.

I have had a few hoovers from Trotters over the last few months....a stupid email in September when he split from OW. All of which I have ignored - the power of NC, it is our only weapon against these freaks.

I have often wondered at what level of Narcissism Trotters sat at, I have read so much and know the level of cruelty is extreme, particularly when facing Narc Injury, this I know he finds the hardest to deal with having told him I was disgusted by him when we split up, his level of cruelty was extreme, thankfully as I may never have realised what he was if the pattern of behaviour hadn't been so Narc like. My confusion led me here. Thank God.

Life has evolved....I have met a very lovely man, he is a friend's brother and we have been dating for three/four months. It is very relaxed, very normal and there hasn't been a love-bomb or red flag in sight...I was very cautious at first and put all my new-found knowledge into practice. One thing I would say is that we take each day as it comes, we demonstrate how we feel about each other with respect and have taken things pretty slowly. I am happy to report that it is not a rollercoaster, it's a normal friendship that is evolving first and foremost. How empowering to be able to go into a new relationship with some real boundaries and a strong view on what I wanted. My trust is growing and whatever happens, I know I will be OK as I haven't given all of myself away. We have recently been away for a week, a massive test, I was extremely nervous at first, but it was all fine, in fact the only red flag for me was the comparisons I was making to my holidays with Trotters.....! No drama for a start!

I posted some pics of our trip on FB....none of us together, just the beach etc, it was so beautiful. Within 24 hours I receive a call from Trotters on my work phone. I missed it and have ignored. I can not understand why on earth he would be calling me now, but silly me, they don't just go away. Until I checked my settings on FB only to discover that it has been logged into from various unrecognised devices since July this year. My password is watertight so it must have been hacked. I can not prove this is him and have taken steps to secure my fb, changed the password and put log in approvals on so that if anyone tries to log in from a device not approved by me it alerts me, effectively they will now need a code. This morning, I received an alert to tell me that someone had attempted to get on in a city up North, where he often works.

Not once did I ever think he would stoop to this, always thinking that he was different! Stupid girl, yes I feel violated but more importantly, this is another demonstration of how injured and angry he must be with me. I have just gone, moved on and he can't understand it. His supply with OW is now secured and therefore boring. I am now the new game as I am now the challenge he wants, as well as, in his head, being the easier new supply to secure. Easier to go back than have to find the energy to line up something new!!! It is sick. To him, I am still that girl who was so in love with him, begging him to speak to me, who couldn't fathom what on earth had happened, how could he have been so cruel? Well I know why now.

Hilarious....NC is truly our only weapon with these people. If you want to get revenge, if you want to truly hurt a Narc, then ignore them. I am not flattered by hoovers or by stalking....this is sick. I am speaking to a friend today who is a cop about next steps as clearly if this continues then I will need to get some kind of legal intervention. My FB is now secure. There is little that he could gleen from my FB other than what a fab life I am having without him!! If you are happy and you know it thank your ex!!!!

I never thought a year ago that I would find myself saying these words....I want him gone for good, out of my life, he is not in my head or heart anymore and any reminder that he was ever there is a nuisance, an interruption and a massive insult. The power of NC is vast.....please don't ever forget it, it has given me my life back and opened up my eyes and heart to some truly incredible people who I am blessed to have in my life.

This may read as if I am a little indifferent to Trotters....it is meant to....I am more than a little indifferent, his like an annoying fly that you just need to swat! I want to squash him like a roach.

Stay strong all of you in the early stages of NC and please have faith that it works.....it is the ONLY thing that works and the best revenge you can take. More importantly, it gives you YOU back, the greatest gift of all. Hugs to all of you xxxx