Is There Ever a "Normal" Relationship After Narc

I have been dealing with a N for almost 7 years. He is still married, although I haven't been since I became involved with him. During these years I've tried to have a "normal" relationship with other men, but my head would always go back to the N, and cause nothing but problems for me. It was like I didn't know how to have a relationship with someone that didn't want anything from me but time, and gave more to me emotionally than I ever could them. The N would always find out about them and would ask me a million questions about them, all of which I felt I was obligated to answer for some reason. Like even though I was single and he was married, he still controlled me. He accused me of everything under the sun. I have a 15 and 12 year old daughters 24/7 (their dad doesn't have anything to do with them) and I do not allow men to stay overnite or even late for that matter. I just do not want to set that kind of example or my girls. I never even go on dates with this men, much less have any sexual relations with them, but the N makes me feel like the worst person in the world.

Do you ever reach the point where you can quit looking back and look forward and enjoy the moments you are in and the life someone else wants to offer you? I feel like the N took my heart and soul and all the love I have in me to give to another person. I'm like an empty shell. I've had to let some very good men go just because I knew I wasn't being fair to them because I could never follow through with NC although I'm trying desperately to get better with that. I just want to feel like myself again - like I did before I allowed him to rob me of everything.

How do you find life and happiness after being the "victim" of a Narc?

Thanks to all of you out there - without everyone opening your hearts and talking about hurtful experiences, that I know are so difficult to have to relive - I personally do not not where I would be right now, or if I would sill exist at all.

Hugs to you all.