their mothers

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#1 May 19 - 6AM
finallydone
finallydone's picture

their mothers

Are the mothers usually nasty too? For years I've seen him go into rages about how his mother sucks, is a "piece of shit" etc. And I always stood up for her. I bought xmas presents, sent flowers, on and on and I thought she and I got along. I just found out this morning that she is calling me "her majesty" a bitch and she wishes there was some way to retaliate. I think he's convinced them that I am trying to withhold money from him (which I'm not) etc. He told me "he doesn't want any money from the house because that would be evil. But I'm starting to think that he's just doing this to paint a picture of being victomized so he can have sympathy from family that he completely trashes whenever they "slip up". Anyway is it possible that his mom is worse than he is even at 82 years old? It doubly hurts how quickly venemous they have become.

May 19 - 1PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

parents

My late mother was a flaming Narc and neither my brother or I are ones. However, we were raised by our grandmother - who taught us compassion, empathy, boundaries, etc. Made a BIG difference. And bro and I are N-magnets. You can, as an ADULT, realize you have problems and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT or continue to think you are perfect and become a problem for everyone else. Ns do the latter. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 19 - 10AM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

parents

Apparently, my exN's father was very abusive and an alcoholic. His mom was the peacemaker. Still, my mom has narc qualities and I'm not one. My dad was the peacemaker, but appeased my mom rather than reached out to us kids. In some ways I think it's just an excuse for their bad behavior, and never getting help, etc. It's hard for me to buy the 'but I was very abused, so I abuse' stuff. They'll trash us to others in order to gain sympathy. Not much you can do, but the people close to you will know better.
May 19 - 6AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

children - parents

Not always. But the majority of the time they have AT LEAST one Narcissistic or Psychopathic Parent. Usually the mother but sometimes the father. There is evidence that this is genetic so the sooner you intervene with your children, minimize their contact with the Narc and teach them respect, empathy & boundaries - the better it is. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 19 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
Fawn
Fawn's picture

Parents

Oh My, the stories I could tell about my h's mother. She is something else. My youngest daughter will be spending some time with her this summer at what I like to call Narcissist Camp. She has a preschool and a dance studio in an old bank building. This is where she holds court and ignores her grandchildren. She spends her time smoking cigarettes, talking on the phone and gluing cotton tails on bunnies for her preschool classes. God forbid the students would be able to do any of their own work. Anyhoo, I am worried about my little one, but she already knows that her grandma is crazy, thanks to my h, not me. Someone else posted that their h talked trash about his mother. So does mine, about her, to her, in front of her. He and his brother have made an Olympic Sport of making fun of her and imitating her. I used to think it was really funny, until we got older. (H is 42, bro is 39). He hates her, but she has some weird power over him. It is so sick and twisted and enmeshed. I was SO glad to walk away from that train wreck. I have been in contact with her directly three X in the past 18 months or so about my 5-year-old's activities at school bc I don't want her to feel left out with grandparents' activities. Sadly, my mom died and so did my dad, although he wouldn't have been involved even if he was alive. My point is that my h's parents are certifiable, and so is he. They all live in this fantasy land that they have a close-knit family and that my h and his brother had an idyllic childhood running through a meadow full of wildflowers chasing jackrabbits. I did know my h and his crazy family for long enough to know that the picture didn't match up with some of the stories that I heard from my h and from other relatives, neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc. H never had a chance NOT to be a narcissist as a child. (But he did as an adult.) Luckily, my kids see the writing on the wall and they are aware of how screwed up the whole scene is. My h tries to dump them off at his parents so that he and his brother can go act like 12-year-olds together. I just found out yesterday from my son that my h and his brother are going to a 4-day Music Festival the first weekend in June. My h has the kids that weekend. He has had them ONE WEEKEND in May and he will be dropping them off at his parents' for the entire weekend that he has them in June. Start making those Father's Day cards now kids! What a great dad!! What a joke. Where did the poor, put-upon man who has no money to buy gas for his car get the money to buy $149 tickets for a 4-day hippie fest? Simple, he took the refrigerator out of my house before we moved in and bartered it to his brother for the tickets, and maybe some other great merch. like a tapestry and a black light for his bedroom. Maybe a Farrah Fawcett poster to hang up over his bed, I don't know. This is the father of my children.