THANK GOD.....I have a few weeks away from him!!!

I am sure that I will still have ups and downs, but I am so amazed that in only 2 1/2 weeks not talking to him, or interacting in any way has changed my entire outlook, hopefullness, etc. I still feel very overwhelmed, I miiss my kid terribly, but I am not frantically all over the place with my thoughts, etc. I have worked it out at my job that I am going to start working 1 weekend day every week (that will be 6 days working) for a few months. It really isn't any good for me to hit home thinking about this over the weekends and staying busy is really good. I desperatley need the money as this whole situation has also devastated me finacially.
I can't believe how I am looking back at so many situations with him over the past 2 years and WHY DID I STAY WITH HIM???? It is totally crazy and he was so off the wall sick/psycho and I just could not see it.....I was too close and could not get any other perspective because I just did not give myself enough time to start seeing things clearly.
As of the past few days, I have really not wanted to see or talk to him at all!!! I hired the lawyer today.......I felt kind of bad that it was questionable that I try and get a certain amount of money from him, but he was the one that took advantage of me in many ways (and yes, even finacially) and if I can get some of the money that I am entitiled to, that would be great. I did hire the lawyer today, so I guess we will see what happens!!
I have been going to my meetings every night again and have been hooking back up with all of my girlfriends at church and at meetings. It really has been a good week. I think spending last weekend with my kids in Cleveland and to really see how much they need me really helped to WAKE ME UP!!! I do have many friends that I made for years before I got married and moved 45 minutes away from everyone. I will take all of this each day, one day at a time and I can see a glimmer of hope......things really can, and I hope will soon, get better!!

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