Ten Ways to Freedom from Narc

There is no doubt that we have loved. It's just that narcissists can't love you back. And there is no doubt that it is not a good idea to depend on the strength of your feeling for a narcissist, but to listen to your gut. What happens with these types is that we get so caught up in the feeling and don't listen to the alarms and red flags that usually guide our way.

1. Educate Yourself

The most important thing you need to do is learn everything you can about the disordered and how they operate. You must educate yourself. Repeat and repeat and repeat. Unless you educate yourself you will never be free of their toxic enmeshment. Because they don't think and feel as we do, we cannot treat them like we do "normal" people/ourselves. Nor is it any use feeling sorry for them when you are trapped with them because they will simply use all your feeling against you. You need to harden your heart in order to see very clearly what you are dealing with.

2. Observe and Trust Your Gut

Distinguish between what is feeling in yourself and your gut instinct, and switch to trusting your gut. You are in poor physical and emotional and mental health because you are struggling to
understand behaviour that on the surface contradicts the words.

Never listen to words. Observe the behaviour. It is by behaviour that we really know people. Words are just a con job. You are worn out and sick because your psyche and body are telling you there is something terribly wrong when there is an illusion of everything being right (because s/he tells you so) and this is a very hard thing to accept. If it feels wrong, it is wrong. Be a scientist. Silently observe what is really happening.

3. Stay Out of Their Head

Get back inside your own where you belong. It's a mindfulness thing. Watch how hard that is because they've trained you well. Don't try to figure out what they're up to, what's in their mind, or second guess them. Getting into their head means trying to figure out their motives, trying to make excuses for them, trying to rationalise their behaviour, trying to manipulate them, and especially getting sucked into the content.

When you catch yourself, wrench yourself away from it and think about something else. I used to use a Hebrew blessing as a mantra when my mind wandered into poisonous realms. This is a challenge because it takes a huge force of will to do this and goes against all the training they gave you to ensure that they take up all the space inside your head.

4. Ignore Content

There is no content for narcissists except the kind that will suck you in. I had to train myself to ignore the content. It's not a question of belief or disbelief. It's about tearing yourself away from everything being about them during all your waking hours and probably your dreams.

Do not listen to or give importance to the content of what narcissists say. It is their way of sucking you into their world and keeping you there, a world of total mindfuck where you always end up the bad guy. They don't make common sense and keep moving the boundaries and goalposts to keep you destabilised.

Listening to the content stresses your cognitive functioning- it is crazymaking. Know that whatever they say has something in it for them, no matter how reasonable or wonderful it seems. It is all about them and they want you to be all about them as well and they will do and say anything to you to keep you trapped in their little dream world. Instead, observe what they are doing.

KEEP READING HERE:

http://narcissism-support.blogspot.com/2009/01/ten-steps-to-freedom-from...

.."educating yourself is the only way to get your self and your life back. From there, everything else follows"