Tell me what you think-

11 posts / 0 new

#1 Feb 15 - 1PM

Maggster

Tell me what you think-

Do you think it was a red flag when he told me he hated kids and was really repulsed by pregnant women? I remember last year when we were on the beach and there was a lovely couple sitting in front of us. They were European and she was probably 8 months pregnant, wearing a bikini. I thought she looked absolutely beautiful. He wanted to get up and change where we were sitting so he didn't have to look at her. As I recount this story, I remember he was actually laughing but I think it was to throw me off. Thoughts?

#2 Feb 17 - 10PM

freaked

shucks...i can scarcely hold

shucks...i can scarcely hold myself together as i read this. This is precisely what nh told me when i was carrying our child. he said i looked repulsive. right from the 2nd month of our marriage he kept passing snide remarks on pregnant women...and more snide remarks when he saw loving couples. RED FLAG waved at a time I was not yet educated about Colour. Too later now. wish I had run...but had nowhere to run to. I was Oliver Twist.... wish I had run away anyway....at least I may have met Fagin who'd have helped me live a better life than the marriage.

#3 Feb 17 - 11AM

Hunter

They hate woman

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq79.html Hunter

#4 Feb 15 - 7PM

ichooselife

"As I recount this story, I remember he was actually laughing"..

Ive seen my N laugh out of anger and disgust lots of times. Wow, not being crazy about kids is one thing, but hating them? And hating pregnant women? Whoe! Thats vicious of him. Maybe mother issues? Maybe little kids remind him of a horrible childhood, and the pregnant women represent his mother? Hard to know. Speaking of red flags, I still can't believe all the things I over-looked with my exN even from the beginning. Love is blind.

#5 Feb 15 - 11PM

Im_always_fine

Being pregnant is the

Being pregnant is the ULTIMATE human condition...so beautiful...so natural...so nourishing... It's something HE can't do no way no how!! He probably sees pregnant women as "supply drains" Threats to potential attention that could be his. Don't we all fawn over pregnant women? I know I do.

#6 Feb 15 - 2PM

Hunter

My narc also stated he was

My narc also stated he was repulsed by a pregnant woman.. This boils down to their mommy issues and their true hate of woman.. Hunter

#7 Feb 15 - 2PM

Freedom101

I think you're spending way

I think you're spending way too much of your precious time thinking about what he thinks or thought. It doesn't matter. I see you've been here 11 weeks. The only way to let go is to make yourself let go. When you think of him, stop yourself. Think about something else. You will keep yourself stuck here forever if you don't start at some point.

#8 Feb 15 - 3PM (Reply to #2)

onwithmylife

Freedom 101

YOU said it all, it is a waste of brain power and keeps you from healing, who cares in the end what the assclown thinks?? get on with your healing Maggster, that is what is important.......

#9 Feb 15 - 8PM (Reply to #3)

Maggster

Thanks

I know your right but I'm still processing all of this and learning the commonalities of these n' s helps me move forward with my NC. I would be lying if I said I'm not thinking about him. I am thinking about him, us, the lies, the deceit, the belittling, the manipulating, then raging, etc. all the time. It would be so much easier to think of all the good times we had and actually, there were many. But remembering the good times, at this point anyway, would send me right back into his arms and I would never stand a chance of living a healthy and happy normal life. Believe me, I look forward to the day that I can post how well & happy I am as well as to be helpful to those who ended up on this forum as I did.

#10 Feb 17 - 12PM (Reply to #5)

Journey

It is NOT easier thinking of

It is NOT easier thinking of the good times... definitely the bad times are what needs to be processed for what they were - narc abuse. THAT is how acceptance really sinks in IMO and through acceptance we can let go, remain NC and move forward in recovery.

Journey on...

#11 Feb 16 - 8PM (Reply to #4)

nomoredenial

I agree Maggster

I think we have to go over it in our minds to make sense of it....i notice over time it is naturally getting less. Something someone says or somthing may trigger me but it seems to be getting less often. I know they are not normal and thier is no figuring them out but I think its a process that takes time. the x said he got along with other peoples kids, just hated his own

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