teja6519's story

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Anonymous (not verified)
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teja6519's story

Out of the meat grinder

I met my stbx/ narcissist/ psychopath, 3 years ago. About 1 year after my divorce. Looking back, I didn't have a clue about life. Very sheltered, very trusting and naive. I thought I knew what bad people were and how to spot them. I met him on the internet. He pursued me. I really wasn't that interested.

Once we met, he became a full blown aggressor/charmer. Something I had never experienced before with a man. My self esteem was about as low as they go. I was feeling vunerable and he swooped in charmed me, lied to me, rationalized everything he did. I knew that the red flags were there but I chose to ignore them.

The next 3 years became the most horrific 3 years of my life. This man has tied me up in a closet, held me hostage, reported me to family and children's services to have my daugther taken away from me. He stole money from me. He lied to people about me. He brow beat me daily, talked non-stop at me daily and raged on me as much. He broke many of my possessions, especially the ones with sentimental value.

When he knew I was vunerable or needed him for something, he would get angry at me. I had to walk to work once and take a taxi because he would let me use one of his two cars, because he was angry at me for ???? He drank, was a raging alcoholic. I tried so many times to get him help, but he ended up turning on me, getting angry at me for trying to control him. He loved to scare me and knew just what to say to get me going. the final straw (there is so much more) was when he gave my dog away. I am not even sure if he gave her away or mortally wounded her. I loved her so much, and he hated anything that I loved.

I am following the no contact rule. I saw him this morning following me to work. When I was half way there, I noticed he turned off. So I am thankful that he is not coming to meet me in the parking lot and making a scene. He hates making scenes in front of people because "it's shameful". I feel like he put me through a meat grinder. I have come out the other side in pieces (emotionally, phyiscally, financially, spiritually)...

I have my own apt, my safe haven, where I can do what I WANT TO DO, listen to WHAT I WANT TO LISTEN TO, and be silent! Awww, the SILENCE!!! He never stopped talking...

I feel grateful for having found this web site for the support. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!!!!

ForeverLearning
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Thank God You Got Away From That Beast
I know I dont have to worry about you ever going back to that evil maniac psychopath, since you mentioned he gave away your dog. I know how very much that must have hurt, that alone would seal the deal for me on leaving, what a heartbreak to lose your pet, I am so sorry. And the talking alot thing, these type psychopaths love to hear themselves talk their evil jibberish abusive hogwash. It does help the listener realize, after time, how very crazy they are. By the way, his true problems are much more than just alcoholism, as you already know. But these maniacs are especially dangerous when they are drunk or high. Glad you are here getting great advice from Barbara and the others. One thing I can think of, you might consider getting a restraining order if he continues to follow you, especially if he doesn't like to cause "a scene" - he should hate the fact that law enforcement has his name on paper as a predator. And of course no contact on your part. And please make sure your home is very safe and secure, double locks on the doors and windows, a security system of some sort, items for self defense (wasp spray shoots farther than pepper spray, up to 20 feet but keep both near your bed, along with baseball bat and gun, and phone). I have known those who barricade items behind their already reinforced front door to make a clatter should he get it open somehow at night. I could go on and on about safety items for your home. Make sure you are safe walking out to your car, same thing at work to and from vehicle. After long enough with no contact he should move on to the next victim (unfortunately that is how it works). God bless and never again, right? xoxox
Barbara (not verified)
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Welcome teja6519
Welcome... get into therapy IMMEDIATELY - call a DV Center if you need to get an advocate ASAP - PLEASE go through ALL the pages on 'Message Board' as I have loaded it with articles and your questions have probably already been asked and answered many many times. Click through the pages and read what interests you. You'll get up to speed and learn a LOT. - PLEASE read the stories of others on SHARE YOUR STORY. This alone is one of the most validating things you can do! Far too many become completely wrapped up in their own drama... which just makes it all worse. It will also help you see the pattern of their INCURABLE PATHOLOGY - PLEASE read through our whole blog: http://www.lisaescott.com/blog - chock full of articles about Ns and healing PLEASE, in the future, read the Rules prior to posting, as well - listen to our free radio show - archived at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim Remember this board is NEVER to be used as a replacement for therapy. Please find a therapist and start going as SOON as possible for whatever level of PTSD he's left you with!! BLOCK HIS EMAILS, IMs and TEXTS change your phone & cell numbers NO CONTACT! Get to a PTSD/ trauma counselor ASAP... and a restraining order! ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website