Susan32's story
Susan32's story
The ex-Narc in my life was a professor at my college (and 15 years my senior). I had him for only one class... freshman lab. It started off on the wrong foot. He told me he was writing a book of philosophy, that it would take him a decade to write (it would've hit the presses in '06) Naturally, I bragged to my friends about it (since he didn't tell me to keep it secret). When he found out that I told my friends, he called me "crazy" behind my back,interrogated my pals, and it all started with broken trust. I took him to task for it. He admitted that yes, he had hurt people in his past, and didn't know how to relate to others (understatement)
Over the following 3 years, we spent lots of time together-having lunch, he helped me with my writing, went to concerts/lectures. People assumed we were lovers. I had to deny we were having sex. A LOT. I saw him as a friend,despite his bullying, negative comments, and that he'd call my friends/family "weird." He treated me as a friend. His colleagues seemed to avoid him, for the most part.
Finally, after 3 years, I made myself vulnerable and admitted my feelings for him. I had tried to break it off with him my junior year, asking him if he liked being in my company (he said yes). He practically begged me to still spend time with him,despite the fact he was acting sad&guilty. He acted as if he were hiding something. So, when I revealed it senior year, he took it on himself to berate me in public, often reducing me to tears, and I was the one constantly apologizing. After confessing my feelings, I found out he already had a girlfriend-in LA. I found out he was an inverted narc--the type who constantly drubs himself to get sympathy. When he told me I "didn't appreciate his masks" and basically admitted that it was all an act because he was a "nice guy",I was devastated.
This experience from a decade ago still devastates me. There's also the shame that he was a professor, and I should've known better. It's awkward that my fellow alum and some of my former professors want me to come back to visit. I find the prospect too painful.
My friends who were looking out for me warned me. One of them bluntly called him "the Devil." There are students who thought there was something evil about him. His utter lack of emotion frightened people. It's like everybody else could sense something wrong with him, but I was too smitten.
Am I alone in this?
Bump for my story
Bumping again...
your ex-Prof
This was a weird one...
OMG Susan!
It could be a musical card...
Bumping this topic
Professor
Oh,he got tenure 7 years ago...
posted on wrong story by
spinning
Welcome Susan32
Healing
ok Susan
Less regrets now...
You are not alone in this...
9 Years Ago
No Contact--from his end