suffering from shame and guilt for my part

With the Narc out of my life, I find myself suffering from guilt and shame.

I feel guilty for all the times I looked the other way when the NARC was acting out on someone else, talking behind their back (to me), or somehow using me to hurt other people. They did this but I feel that I should've known better. I should've stopped being a part of it. I should've had the courage to speak up. When I was in the NARCs good graces, I watched a lot of damage being done to others... doesn't that make me guilty as well?

When the same things were eventually done to me, was that karma? No wonder it hurt so bad, half of the pain came from my own shame for not realizing that I would eventually be treated the same way.

Do any of you struggle with these feelings?

I know that I was victimized and manipulated by the NARC.. maybe this guilt and shame is the last leg of this horrible ride.