Story of Abuse and Recovery - Poem 4 U please read :)

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#1 Dec 31 - 1PM
lucky
lucky's picture

Story of Abuse and Recovery - Poem 4 U please read :)

To All You Lovely "Birds of Many Colours". Would like to share a poem I wrote after leaving my ex-Psychopath several years ago. I hope it brings you Healing and Hope :)

The Bird of Many Colours
A Story of Abuse and Recovery

A bird of many colours flew graceful in the sky.
Her song was sweet and clear, her spirit soaring high.
Another kind of bird flew above the tide.
With colours much like hers, he hid his darker side.

He heard her pretty song, he saw her on the wing.
He longed to fly like her, to sing like she could sing.
He made his subtle plan, a master of disguise,
Gliding in her view lest he take her by surprize.

It wasn’t really hard for her to take the bait.
He was a handsome bird and she without a mate.
Though carefully she went, he seemed so shy and kind.
Professing of his love, like none that she would find.

Come with me my love and see what I can give.
The dreams within your heart, the place that we shall live.
She saw his paradise and saw that it was true.
And then without his force, into his house she flew.

They nested there awhile, quite happy to belong.
What lucky birds they were, a love so good and strong.
They lived among the flock like other bird mates do.
Though she did not do wrong, his rage and envy grew.

She wanted to express the joy she felt inside,
Remembering her song, she swelled her breast with pride.
His jealousy took hold as she began to sing.
He shocked her with his words, and oh! how they did sting.

“Look here, you evil bird, can’t you see I am not pleased?
I have proved my love to you, now me you must appease!”
She put aside her pain, for she had done the wrong.
She accepted all the blame, she did not sing her song.

She felt anxious and so sad for she loved her bird mate true.
She promised to try harder like the other bird mates do.
For a time he seemed content and their love seemed quite anew.
‘Til one day he was waiting and he watched her as she flew.

“How dare you fly that way!” he exploded in a rage.
“You flaunt your many colours, a performer on the stage!”
A bird of many colours has beauty from within.
Yet he told her she was wicked, he told her it was sin.

She reasoned and she pleaded, “I do not play a game!”
Her heart fell into pieces and she hung her head in shame.
He sensed that she had weakened and continued his assault.
She deserved these awful things, for this was all her fault.

The bird of many colours kept searching for a way.
To earn back all his love, to make him feel ok.
He took all she could give and left her there to cry.
And never did she sing and never did she fly.

The Angels watched above and they helped her in her fight.
And children came to her, they were goodness, they were light.
He could not tear this down, a mother’s love is pure.
She helped them as they grew, they helped her to endure.

He tried to take the credit and heaped on her the blame.
Still she loved her children and they loved her just the same.
She looked into their eyes, they truly were her kin.
They were birds of many colours, they had beauty from within.

She listened to them sing, she watched them as they flew.
Hope within her stirred and strength within her grew.
She wanted just the best, this was straight and clear.
They were all that she had wanted, all that she held dear.

A bird of many colours with innocence and light.
Deserves a kinder love and not this painful plight.
She made herself a plan and even had to lie.
And then she tricked the bird in the same way he was sly.

She struggled with her guilt, she stumbled and she fell.
So long she did not fly, so long within this hell.
She gathered up her young, prepared herself to fly.
She gathered up her strength, aiming for the sky.

The Angels came to help, she tried with all her might.
They touched her on the wing and helped her into flight.
This journey brought her pain, awakening herself.
And slowly she regained her mind, her heart, her health.

As she grew stronger still, a vision came to be.
Other birds of colour as beautiful as she.
Through sorrow and through pain, a sound so pure and strong.
The bird of many colours now sings her sweetest song.

Oct 5 - 7PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

That is a beautiful poem

Thank you for sharing...
Oct 5 - 4PM
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

Wow! This is just

Wow! This is just beautiful. Thank you!

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Oct 5 - 3PM
MovinOnUp
MovinOnUp's picture

Couldn't resist

I was wading through the archives looking for some articles on brainwashing and I just couldn't resist bumping this beautiful poem up to the front page for others to enjoy.
Oct 5 - 6PM (Reply to #18)
NancyM
NancyM's picture

Thanks

Totally worth bumping up...beautiful.

Nevergoback

Jan 1 - 7PM
Qing Yuan
Qing Yuan's picture

Words that resonate with me so much...

Oh wow that was amazing. I think that is one of the most healing things I have read here. I just thought yes, thats exactly what I feel... So amazing and so beautifully written. The universe bless you.. X
Jan 1 - 2PM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

That was so beautiful thank

That was so beautiful thank you so much. You should see if Sandra Brown would print that in her material on relationships. You captured it so perfectly so many people would benefit from reading it.
Jan 1 - 4PM (Reply to #14)
lucky
lucky's picture

Sandra Brown

oh, ok... who is Sandra Brown? does she have a website? :)
Jan 1 - 11PM (Reply to #15)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Sandra Brown, MA

Sandra Brown, MA's INSTITUTE FOR RELATIONAL HARM & PSYCHOPATHY EDUCATION http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Jan 1 - 1PM
BlueMoon
BlueMoon's picture

thank you...

thank you...
Dec 31 - 11PM
grossot
grossot's picture

lucky

I have been waiting for words to hit me for 13 months now in the way that these have. The first set of words that accomplished that were NO CONTACT. The second set is in this poem! Love every word in it! So true! So inspirational! Makes me think of my child. How on the day I gave birth to her on promised to her that I would protect her. Little did I know that I would need to finght for her with every ounce of energy that I can from the evil thing standing next to my in the hospital bed stating "she's min; she's all mine" in true narc fasion. This poem will inspire me to continue to fight and be my daughter's voice in a disgusting custody battle. I will fly - with my daughter by me - I will soar. Thank you, lucky. Tm truly touched. http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview nolongercontrolled
Jan 1 - 1PM (Reply to #11)
lucky
lucky's picture

You and Your Daughter

You will win. I hope you have a really good lawyer who pushes for him to have NO CONTACT with your daughter. Who shows that abuse has occurred and that he is SICK and for her own protection, he must have no access! Go straight ahead and don't let him throw you off, doubt yourself, doubt your instincts - they are RIGHT! :))
Dec 31 - 7PM
nhtmf
nhtmf's picture

LUCKY

Lucky, you just became my Angel. I used to be that bird of many colors and I know that in time I will be again. I always soared high and my heart always sang and I danced and loved and had a wonderful life----- until n. Your poem is absolutely breathtaking and I thank you so much for it. Coming on this New Years Eve especially is bittersweet. Thanks my 2010 Angel !!!!!!!
Jan 4 - 4PM (Reply to #9)
lucky
lucky's picture

youre welcome :)

You are soooo welcome. Great Big Hugs to You :D Fly, fly, fly!! lol
Dec 31 - 3PM
4joys4
4joys4's picture

Beautiful. Thank you.

Beautiful. Thank you.
Dec 31 - 3PM
Ellen
Ellen's picture

Wow you have talent

Lucky, That is beautiful, so meaningful. Are you a professional writer? I love it. I want a personal copy please from the author!
Dec 31 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
lucky
lucky's picture

Poems and Music

Thanks :) I have been writing poetry since I was a kid, actually. Also, play guitar and write songs. It has been with me all my life and has been soooo much a part of my healing. This poem, I gave a copy to my local Women's Transition House and apparently they gave out hundreds of copies. I heard through the grapevine later, that the staff said, so many women coming to the transition house read it and cried, simply because it was so much of what they experienced and it helped in their healing. So go ahead and copy and paste (if you can) and keep a copy. This poem has been kinda one of those anonymous poems floating about now. I like to think of it as my gift. And if it brings healing and love and light, that makes me smile big! :D
Jan 1 - 5PM (Reply to #3)
Patsy
Patsy's picture

Spot On

Lovely poem, Lucky. Thank you so much for sharing this. Makes me shudder when I think back to my N telling the Reverend in pre-marital sessions thirty years ago that one of the things that he found very attractive about me was... my singing. This poem rings so true to me. Except it ends before my tale, because when I did separate from my N, I caved when my mother and our therapist wore on me to work it out. We also co-own a business which made untangling even harder. Because I stayed, a complete poem would have to include the damage done to those beautiful children. Aside from my children, the thing that makes me happiest are my creative pursuits. And though he's never been able to stop the pursuit, N has hindered the process and attempted to undermine my confidence and progress in ways that are mind boggling. Thanks again for sharing your poem. I wish I had it years ago. But I'm glad I have it now as I set out to climb my mountains on my own!
Jan 4 - 5PM (Reply to #6)
lucky
lucky's picture

Creative Soul

I think this is so common with souls who carry a lot of loving white light energy... there often is some form of special creative expression. Keep in mind, that though your children were exposed to the N's behavior, they also absorbed your energy and influence too :) Music and Healing has always fascinating me. This is very interesting: http://www.aniwilliams.com/sound_therapy.htm She says, "Each of us is a living symphony of frequencies...some of our notes singing in harmony, and some singing 'off key'. Because of stress, trauma, and negative mental and emotional patterns, the instruments of our symphony need tuning up. " Interesting thing, when I was with my ex-Psyco at one point, I could hardly talk let alone sing. At times, all that would come out was a croak while trying to speak. My vocal coach later taught me that stress does indeed come out in the voice - every little thing! So by singing, we can help heal ourselves. Ani Williams website says we can 'find' those notes again in our vocal range, which we cannot sing due to stress and trauma. In turn, finding these notes helps heals us. I havent completely checked into it, and you dont have to be a singer to do the therapy, but thought you would appreciate it, being a singer :D
Jan 2 - 4AM (Reply to #4)
James (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Great Poem

And thanks for sharing. I too found how my poetry has helped me heal and come to some understanding of this disorder. I wrote this one soon after studying and researching the disorder my ex suffers from. Hope you don't mind me sharing it Lucky? Narcissistic for a Day By James A. I woke one day, in a terrible way Short with my children and not caring for their needs in anyway Not talking with my wife, oh what a pig she is She is always that way Not seeing how special I am in every way Getting ready for work, thinking how they don’t see me, oh the wonderful me! Why, should I care about them in any oh way! Going to work, I saw people who are fools Just like tools that I can use and use Not seeing how special and great I am and will always be These objects are just for my fun and wants for whatever I need. At work, I talked with Andy, oh what a fool he can be taken my position that was promise to me Why can’t Andy see, that it was meant for me I’m so special, not like Andy can ever be I came home oh, what a horrible day for me Why can’t they see the wonderful me I cussed at my children, so selfish they can be My wife I told her I don’t need you and don’t want you with me You are just a pig, not special like me The room got dark and numbest surrounded me No feeling of love or caring for me No one would talk or look at me Oh, dear God what is happening to me Awoke in a sweat wanting someone to hold me Oh, what a horrible dream that happen to me A Nightmare no no not a dream at all A Nightmare it had to be! How horrible it must be To be a narcissistic being in every way and everyday Oh no that’s not for me in any oh way No, I love my children who are so Special to me in their own special way My wife so sweet and so kind to my children and me Loving and special to us in all and each one in their own way Oh no dear Lord, that’s not for me in any oh way A narcissistic person I can never be not even for a day http://james-personalitydisorder.blogspot.com/
Jan 4 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
lucky
lucky's picture

Goosebumps

Wow! that totally gave me shivers the way you wrote that, from the other perspective. I always say, if you want to understand something, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Your poem does just that, and it gives one a whole new perspective on how dark and insidious this behavior is. How most ppl couldnt even IMAGINE being that cold, cruel and ruthless. It is such a horrible sickness, and I wonder what the prognosis will be for treatment in the future. I know one thing for sure, just like so many things in evolving society, AWARENESS and INFORMATION to the general public is Key. Thank you for sharing your story and poetry! Are you familiar with the books, Meaning from Madness and Tears and Healing? Richard Skerritt