The spiritual side to pain of the pathological

I am very spiritual now through the whole healing process, I wasnt at all before, and I believe it all happened to get me back on the right path and reconnect with my spirituality. First of all, being religious and a know it all in theology doesnt one make spiritual, religious yes, but not spiritual Big differnce, and I am also very suspicious of all men made religions, I also believe they are all narcs. If you have problems to reconnect with GOD, then it might be because this christian concept is so patriachial, the last thing you need now is reconnecting with something that is called the father or whatever. I recommend, that you reconnect with the devine mother, the female part of it, first, then later again also with the male part, but first concentrate on the devine mother. Cause, this is what I relialized lately, the devine mother is taking for fucking granted, just as mother earth, and this is expressed in the smallest microcosmos here too, in our relationships with men. Not only is she taking for granted but also abused, see the connection here, this topic we discuss here, is bigger than us, its universal, and we grown up in men's world, are also taught that the holy father is the one and all. Bullshit if you ask me, its just one aspect of it. So reconnect with that, I am pretty sure, if you think of devine mother, or mother earth, which is one expression of her, you immedialtely get a feeling dont you? You know how she feels. So forget all this crap of your narc, he is the devil disguised as religious church goer, who cares. And now to your guilt and shame part, it is also something that was told to all of us, that being loving and nurturing and forgiving and whatever is weak, or even sinful, you are a spiritual being, but you are also human, and you loved, no one can blame you for that, you believed his lies, you believed in the good and you wanted love. Forgive yourself for that, see mother earth, she is waking now up also, like we do too, earthquaqes, tsunamis, that shatter the whole patriarchial systems, money and econimic goes down the hill, I would say, she loved and gived and hoped, was taking for granted, abused and misued, and time is now up. Forgive yourself, cause see this is bigger than you, you are also part of the devine mother, and mother earth, we are all in this together, reconnect with her first, and feel her love, and maybe also her pain. It will be much much easier for you than praying to a god of men, in whose name horrible things have been done, especially to women. Big loving hugs to you. to help you I post a prayer with nice music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ0h1sb1IFI