spiritual approach to those asking, did he want to protect me

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#1 Apr 17 - 8AM
jen79
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spiritual approach to those asking, did he want to protect me

Just got this insight some days and then reading it later in a book I am reading at the moment for spiritual growth,

Did he want to protect you from himself?

We must ask who is the one protecting, and who is the one he wants you to protect from.

So it is possible, that is real soul DID want to protect you from....the evil thought form he is possesed of.

True soul is always devine and loving, lets say that.

Maybe it gives some of you some peace.

Namaste

Apr 19 - 4PM
lisalisa47
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Sorry let me clarify that last statement.

Tries to protect you by hiding his true nature for as long as he can (which is usually less than a year LOL)

LML

Apr 19 - 4PM
lisalisa47
lisalisa47's picture

I tend to believe that too.

On some level they must KNOW that they're screwed up. After reading many of your stories on this forum it appears that they try to hide what they do to you because they know it's wrong deep down inside. Although this can bring a sense of closure and create an empathy for a narc, where before there was just the rage and hurt it caused us, it should also serve as a warning from the very person who caused it. Jen you are right, true soul is devining and perfect. although no one on earth's soul is PERFECT yet, and we all make mistakes, it speaks volumes when even a soul so damaged knows by his yet untapped devine nature, that he will mistreat you, and tries to protect you.

LML

Apr 19 - 5PM (Reply to #8)
Steph
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I'm gonna be the "negative

I'm gonna be the "negative downer" here and say.... It is not "us" they are trying to protect. It is "themselves" they feel protective of. They hide their true selves.....as a way to protect their own reputation. They don't want to be seen as bad men. Thinking a narc or psychopath wants to protect US...is still thinking they are capable of real emotion and empathy. And that is simply not possible.
Apr 20 - 1AM (Reply to #10)
dudette
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not at all

I agree with you After the great narc debacle, he went crying to his ex-wife that he was sorry he had hurt me so much and he had fucked up with me and fucked up with OW and all tears etc... just like a kid that's been caught stealing in the sweet shop... Meanwhile I still got given the silent treatment.... It was just an act for his xw and family, to play the good guy who got himself confused between the GF, the OW, the other OW etc.... at the age of 49 !!! Pah.....bollocks to him and his crocodile tears. I am not his mother....
Apr 19 - 5PM (Reply to #9)
jen79
jen79's picture

you are not a downer

And I dont want to encourage anyone to stay in denial. I dont talk of their real action, or what they said, cause this all happens on a personality level. I am talking of their soul. This is a very abstract and spirtual approach, you wont find any PROOF here in physical reality for it, so dont try to find it here or the the opposite of it. Its something you find in your heart. I hope this clarifies it.
Apr 19 - 5AM
dudette
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yes jen

He warned me many times and he did and said many things that did not make sense at the time, like the conversation about his doubts and insecurities, how I was too strong for him and I did not deserve him and how he was treating me.... Somehow in his madness, He is treating me differently from other OWs...he can be very vindictive about Exes but apparently not about me....and his EXw says I had a calming influence on him. When he would go round to her place and kick off, she would beg me to intervene...I seem to have had some influence.... oh well Sometimes I think that he is preparing something really nasty undercover... Who knows with those disordered....
Apr 19 - 6AM (Reply to #4)
jen79
jen79's picture

still I hope you dont misinterprete it

That you were something special to him, he treated you differently and so on. I hope I didnt encourage in you ladies, this thought he might have loved you MORE than the others. Lets get away from the special treatment. I mean this in a very general and abstract way. His true soul, the one he is disconnected from, doesnt have much influence on them anymore, but I do believe the true, devine self of them, is keeping people at armth length as much as possible to protect them. But dont get me wrong, all what ever comes out of their mouth, was probrably the "other being" talking there, the demon, so to speak. I just wanted to clarify that, its only for your spirtual peace, nothing more, or less. Peace
Apr 25 - 6PM (Reply to #6)
Susan32
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The OW was my guardian angel

I'm still surprised by my reaction to the ex-Psych prof's girlfriend. I never hated her. I couldn't make myself hate or envy her. Maybe I was waaay too exhausted by the final D&D... I was spending all my anger on him... and when it came to her, my bank was empty. "I do believe the true divine self is keeping people at arm's length as much as possible to protect them"- The whole final D&D consisted of the ex-P telling me to keeping a polite distance, a formal distance, a proper distance. I was sincerely baffled. He'd tell me about a movie starring Michael Keaton as a hit man (he told me about it in '97, it was released in '08, it's called "The Merry Gentleman",so it was triggering to see it at HULU), and the hit man abandons the woman who loves him... in order to protect her. During my junior year, he explained my dating as "You don't want to be stuck with me for the rest of your life." During the final D&D the subsequent year, he said that being with him would be like never graduating college, being stuck in childhood. The final D&D wasn't a pleasant wonderful experience by any means... but marrying him and having his kids would've made me incredibly miserable. One of his favorite Leo Tolstoy quotes was when Leo said of one of Sofia Behrs' sisters "She'll be beautifully unhappy as my wife." It turned out applying to Sofia. I look at Sofia... she ended up histrionic&narcissistic because of her marriage to Leo (a definite Narc) She saw herself as a doll, a piece of furniture, or a machine. Leo would brag to fellow writers Anton Chekhov and Ivan Turgenev that she was subject to his immense sexual appetites. She saw herself as gradually destroyed. I look at Nina Fawcett, whose husband Percy ventured into the Amazon searching for the Lost City of Z. She spent her final days in a Brighton poorhouse. Observers said she had sacrificed herself for her husband. Percy's final abandonment destroyed her emotionally&financially. I look at Spalding Gray's widow (Gray was a monologuist who killed himself a few years ago), who just learned that her late husband starred in porn. Life with Narcs doesn't end well, even when they do die. Leo Tolstoy left a nasty letter for Sofia to read after his death, idealizing her as a pure angel, then blaming her for everything. I think the final D&D protected me from the terrible life of marriage&childbearing with the ex-P.
Apr 19 - 6AM (Reply to #5)
dudette
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quite right...

I am more working on the hypothesis of something really nasty coming my way.... But since I cannot control it, I shall not worry about it right??? :-)
Apr 17 - 10AM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Jen i KNOW he is protecting

Jen i KNOW he is protecting me from him. He has known me and loved me since I was fourteen. He is so sick and he knows it. He told me many times that he has issues, issues, he would say over and over again, and that he's not a good man. Thank you for this. Sending love and gratitude Namaste.
Apr 17 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
gettinbetter
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Yes. I truly believe this.

Yes. I truly believe this. Mine said "I'm so glad that you weren't around for the last 15 years for me to drag you thru the ups and downs that have made me who I am" which also ties into the comment "I love you,he loves you your firends love you but he's gonna treat you better than I will" a rare moment of truth I believe While I know his marriage text was aimed at harming me I also wonder if on some level it was an effort to make sure I stayed away I think some of them have what I call moments of clarity. I truly believe mine is self aware. Now that I think about it he said I'm glad we didn't marry you would have ended up hating me. I said no I would have and he no gettinbetter you would have I guarantee it