Something I remembered today in the car...

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#1 Apr 15 - 10AM
Anonymous (not verified)
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Something I remembered today in the car...

Those of you may remember, I used to get a lot of AHA moments around running water...it seems I'm progressing as now they come in the car...I wonder if driving in a rain storm will resolve all of this?...LOL

Anyhow, the narc I was invovled with was clean for 18 years but was involved in NA.

He always spewed and I say spewed because he never OWNED what he said, and y'all know how passionate I am about "owning" what we say...LOL

He'd spew a lot of slogans, positive thinking and such. He seemed to be very committed to 'non-judgement' of others hahahaha! Let me pick myself up off the floor from this fit of laughter.

I remember when I'd say things, sometimes he'd show a bit of anger and ask: "Are you judging me?" AND no, I was not judging, just stating my feelings or expressing something I felt needed some work...BOTH of us having to do some work...but as I replay the tapes, I've just figured out that he used that as a manipulation to get me to back down from asserting my needs.

He was trying to disarm me away from the issue. To ask him to modify or change something that was having a NEGATIVE effect on my, a behavior or something, he turned the tables and labeled it my "Judging him" when the real truth was, I had every right to express my needs and try to negotiate a middle ground...his "calling me out on my alleged judgement" was a tool to get me to back down and stay in my place...and of course, when you try to work on a relationship, and you are "in love" you try to meet someone half way. This would cause me to think I was being harsh or unreasonable...and that was not the case.

Looking forward to more drives...maybe I'll get lucky and my city will have a monsoon!

Hugs....

Apr 15 - 12PM
Deidre40
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michele...that's an amazing

michele...that's an amazing breakthrough! I agree...he was manipulating you. My recent exN would say...''if you loved me, you would...'' Another way to shut me down. It is very hard to think bad things about someone...whom you said I love you, too. That is how I grew up. With someone who loathed me, but said he loved me. So...being involved with someone LIKE him, has opened my eyes to why I fell prey to this relationship. HERE HERE FOR BREAKTHROUGHS! It's breakthrough Friday. :D {{hugs}} Now to go tux shopping with my 18 yr old son...oy vay. lol
Apr 15 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
michele115 (not verified)
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Oh Diedre...the Irony of it all my luv!

The Narc sells tuxes!...LMAO... did you say break through or breakdown?...LMAO!
Apr 15 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
Deidre40
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Get out...really??? hahahaha

Get out...really??? hahahaha LMAO! You make me laugh. :P I'm glad we can laugh about this on some days!