Something that I attribute to my success with "No Contact"
Something that I attribute to my success with "No Contact"
When I left this site I moved on to a different phase of my recovery; looking within. Talking with others that have experienced this is imperative to our understanding but I found myself stuck going over the same things and this was not helping me to achieve WHY I was not fully understanding how to move on from this trauma.
A few months after establishing NC, a man named Thomas Sheridan was starting to be recognized for his research on Psychopaths. I spent a good month with this man (with my headphones on)listening, learning and processing. The timing could not have been better for it was if he was saying, ok now that you have ended this dangerous relationship, let me tell you exactly what happened to you and what kind of person you were involved with and why you were left so traumatized. I watched and listened to every single topic and all the interviews and as I listened to him describe what I had lived through for almost 6 years I realized NC was not my greatest fear as much as my acceptance that I had become a victim to a full blown psychopath. For the longest time I thought I had an encounter with a lizard but I came to understand Sheridan's research on the primitive reptilian brain and how they think which is a result of their behavior.
"I DIDN'T DESERVE THIS" was a post that caught my attention because I cant tell you how many times I said that and thought that. Now as I have come to full understanding it was never about what we did or didnt deserve but what THEY felt THEY deserved and were entitled to. They never will care what others deserve as long as their needs and/or agenda is met. The psychopath that entered my life gave me the only thing he was capable of giving me or anyone. Did he enjoy the time he spent with me? Absolutely, he enjoyed it as much as his other honeymoons maybe more, maybe less .... He perceived me to be the only thing he was capable of perceiving me to be. It does not matter to them how deeply we loved them or how much we understood them, or how much we did for them because those are all the qualities we associate with a normal partner and/or non disordered individual - with a psychopath you will never never get what you deserve and not because you didn't deserve them but because they simply don't have the capacity to give back what we gave them.
Let the lizard go, because there is aprox. 90% in the rest of the population that has the ability to give you what you have always deserved; real love doesn't end after the honeymoon it only grows deeper and richer. xo
Thanks for this, NLB...Thomas
GOOD
This 1 hour interview is
Yes
Snakes