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  5. so you got the dreaded text.... ( SOI this is for you)

so you got the dreaded text.... ( SOI this is for you)

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#1 Apr 3 - 4PM
dudette
dudette's picture

so you got the dreaded text.... ( SOI this is for you)

and the narc is getting married, or engaged or had a new GF....

You should not have looked at it, you should not have broken NC....

But you have and there you go....

To respond or not to respond....that is the question

I have been pondering on this and if I had to respond, this is what I would say....

"I trust that your second marriage will be as successful as your first one...."

and that's it. no dear narc, no congratulations, no good bye or thanks for letting me know.... or wtf or why did you tell me this....

replace with any relevant bits of course....
Love to all x

Apr 4 - 1AM
dudette
dudette's picture

Quite right too

yeah mine is blocked too.... Just in case through.....
Apr 3 - 6PM
Monica
Monica's picture

Block, block, block!!!

Dudette...I love your response!! That would drive them totally crazy a response like that. But....I know that the temptation to "look" and be knocked back in my recovery would be too great if I even allowed a text or email to come through to me. I know that, for those who have children with the narc (God bless you and give you strength and courage) you have to leave communication open (I am assuming). But for me, who has no ties to xN like that, I have blocked him from every avenue of contacting me. All his phone numbers are blocked from my cell (all FIVE of them...geesh) and I have him on my blocked senders list for my email accounts. At work, he can still get in but I have talked with my boss and I think he will let me transfer all calls to him right away and not talk with him. He has no business calling me at work anyway. If he shows up at my apartment, my landlady and landlord will chase him off and God help anyone who crosses my landlady!!! I have dropped out of all organizations and groups that he said he would inflitrate (they were MY groups and organizations, not his). There is one place I go where he might show up and I am not yet sure how that will go down or what I will do because I have many friends there. But, if there are no kids and no valid reason to have contact with the xN, BLOCK if you can.
Apr 3 - 5PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

I have already made note to

I have already made note to him months ago that I am the one that has been married for 15 years and doesnt have a string of failed relationships. I think this only hastented him to marriage as I believe I paniced him that people are noticing that something isnt quite right with a 44 year old man who looks like he does and hasnt married. I will say though I dont think he is getting married. I mean do you really leave your pic up of you and another ex gf up on classmates if you are engaged to someone else? Could be an oversight I suppose but I doubt it. You can bet that any gf he has with half a clue has googled him and snooped these sites just goes with the territory. I think he felt he was losing control over my mind and needed to bring out something big to get me destabilized or perhaps he did it just so I would go away for awhile but I tend to think it was a power play as he could have blocked my number months ago but he didnt. In all actuality the dreaded text has brought me some closure in a weird sort of way.
Apr 4 - 12AM (Reply to #2)
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

sick of it

You are being very strong! and you are very smart! Congrats! i don't think they know why they do the things they do - very low level of planning and organization... For me seeing him with hooter looking lady on FB helped me too - break denial and see the superficiality in my face... Still I am sorry that you are going through this, but it will be for the best in time.