so low - cant take it anymore

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#1 May 12 - 12PM
broken23
broken23's picture

so low - cant take it anymore

ex-n filed a police report against me because i read his email. the police wants to press charges.
got so upset, called the ex-n and asked what he was trying to do. said i shouldve known better than to go into his email. and he was trying to protect himself. PROTECT HIMSELF FROM WHAT ME? yeah because after he lied and cheated and played with my life...i am the one after him.
he said he doesnt want to press charges just make a document. yeah well too bad its not up to him now...its up to the police. ALL he cared about was himself. If i was going to humiliate him i would have. Not everyone thinks like his warped brain. Anyhow now i have a legal issue to deal with.
The hardest part was so hear his voice. How can the same person who was telling me they love me a month ago is now filing a police report against me.
Its so painful. Hearing his voice. My heart is just ripped apart all over again. His life just went on uninterrupted. He had ZERO compassion. His attitude was i deserve it.
How can someone be so cruel to you?
And how can i still have tears and love in my heart.

i feel so low. this man has taken everything from me. i dont know where to go from here. i cant stop crying it hurts so bad.

May 14 - 8PM
Tryintoheal
Tryintoheal's picture

izzy23

Mine did this type of stuff, we had lived together for years, whenever I started to question him on his behavior which didn't add up, he would give me the silent treatment for days, when i finally blew my top and started to rage, he would call the police on me or be making a beeline to the phone every time I had an issue. That was his way of controlling me to shut the hell up and put up with it. This is like being treated like a caged animal. These types of people make us do crazy stuff, when I look back I don't know how I ever put up with it, begging him not to call the police and kick me out, I sure as hell had zero self esteem. he would also kick me out whenever his cross dressing woman hating father was coming to visit as the father couldn't stand me as I didn't put up with his arrogant, degrading talk about women. I just wasn't raised this way, my father had respect for my mother. My partner would kick me out to have his father visit and this would happen at xmas, holidays, etc. After 9 years I never stepped foot on a plane with this man, nor did he marry me, show any loyalty or empathy for his rank behavior whatsoever. Oh I got the standard, I'm sorry it won't happen again, that was complete crap. I would say run from this guy, the only thing he's going to deliver you constantly is pain, try to muster as much strength as you can and let him go. he will never ever be worth your tears, they are hollow empty disgusting people. You might think oh he has a good side, I was wrong for looking at his email. What the police fail to recognize is the craziness he has instilled in you, you will never win and the only place he's going to take you is crazyville, I feel for you, I've been in your shoes, when I read your post it brought back some really hurtful memories for me, but these reminders only make me stronger and I hope one day you too will look back and say, what a pathetic mean loser. These guys are weak controlling cowards. Take care, sorry my post is a little angry, reading this type of treatment towards you gets me really riled up. I have been out for 5 months, I finally bought my own property and he could no longer control me, thats when his final devalue and discard came. He abandoned me with not even a look back, changed his address, number and job. I went through this most humiliating pain I've ever endured and posted here, the ladies helped me. I am coming back, I feel so good without his negative influence in my life, his crazy family and his caged animal rules and neglect. I am a stronger person now, no one will ever treat me that way again and I'm thankful for that. Keep posting here, when you feel any urges count to ten, log on and post. We are all here for you. Luv to you xx
May 14 - 4PM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

WHAT A SISSY!...

sounds just like the psycho....hiding behind the police......seriously...people hack into corporate bank accounts and drain them dry and never get caught..unless you live in Hooterville, i would imagine the cops would have better things to do than investigate someone for reading some whining sissified punk's email.... this is the kind of stuff that just draws attention to what LOSERS they are........
May 14 - 12PM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Read E-Mail

I wonder what is the crime here? Do you know? Just filing a police report isn't really anything. Reports are filed all the time. Let's say there is a charge of some kind. This involves e-mail. How do they prove that at trial? Very difficult. I know. In the law enforcement business myself. Do not talk to anybody. Even him. Admitting to him that you did this makes it an "admission" which is evidence. SILENCE. But, even this admission without other evidence makes it difficult to prove. Cyber-crimes are very difficult to prove because of complex evidentiary issues. Only talk to your lawyer, if it goes that far. Try to cheer up. Of course, he has to protect himself. That's what they are. He could beat you & put you in the hospital, but sitll would need to protect himself. That's what pathologicals do. I can't begin to tell you what my N has done. Profited off me financially BIG TIME, replaced me immediately, broke my stuff, spit on me, verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abused me for 2 1/2 years . . . but, you see, I left him, so he's THE VICTIM. It never ends.
May 14 - 7PM (Reply to #29)
broken23
broken23's picture

agnes thanks for your

agnes thanks for your input i kinda made a admission already...but still i have looked up the statutes and there seems to be none that fits because there is no monetary loss. the only thing is unauthorized access to computer system i guess but i dont know if a prosecutor will want to take that when there is no loss. it also helps im in a different state, they have no jurisdiction over me. i got a lawyer incase. it just makes me so angry....i want to scream!!! he also abused me and profited off me and now somehow i am the one with a report against me. i cant wait to expose him when this is all done.
May 14 - 7PM (Reply to #30)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

izzy23 - stop being so HONEST with a NARC

FORGET you made that admission that's what HE WOULD DO just FORGET... You don't remember... you THINK MAYBE he gave you the password PLAY STUPID ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 14 - 8PM (Reply to #31)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

exactly

izzy hon, if THEY can rewrite history, why can't we?? Of course, we would only resort to this type of behavior to protect our butts from a completely evil force...please listen to what is said here. When he asks you, it's 'deer in the headlights' time. You have NO CLUE what he's talking about??? He's violated you to no end. I hope you have a good attorney who will turn this all around on him and make his look like the stinker he is. Keep the faith!
May 13 - 9AM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

don't take his bullshit.......

it's like my grandma used to say.. 'once you start eating someone's shit...you'll be fed a steady diet of it'........ SCREW HIM......claim he GAVE you the password and is just harrassing you and STALKING you now..... then...publish that sack of shit's name all over ever exposure site there is...... if a Narc could do anything about being EXPOSED on the internet....i'd be typiing this from a federal penitentiary.....
May 12 - 8PM
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Izzy

I know its hard but don't mourn for a man that never was. He was never your man, he's a freakin' puss dressed as a man...
May 12 - 10PM (Reply to #25)
broken23
broken23's picture

texn well i know now he is

texn well i know now he is not a man. actually i should have known a while ago. when its all said and done maybe ill feel better about how unmanly he really is. for now im scared. i dont need a misdeamenor on my record! he is such a bastard
May 12 - 11PM (Reply to #26)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

izzy

what misdemeanor - just DENY it the court will throw it out and expunge your record never ever lay down for abuse - ever ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 12 - 3PM
broken23
broken23's picture

i did admit at the time it

i did admit at the time it happened. too late. i was not experienced in narcissm back then. when i confronted him, he obviously knew i had been in there. i didnt know the asshole was going to go file a police report three weeks later for the hell of it. he obviously knows i did nothing but read it and be devastated. but ofcourse he was so scared of being exposed he will make sure to throw me under the bus. now im under it
May 12 - 4PM (Reply to #21)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

ummm

Oh really? He's afraid of exposure huh?? You can legally expose him via the sites Barbara has listed on here. He can't call the cops on your for that sweetie. I also wonder if your therapist could attest to your having PTSD, connect with an attorney and have this stupid charge tossed out??
May 13 - 12PM (Reply to #23)
better off
better off's picture

Yes, I was just saying this,

Yes, I was just saying this, sorry I missed this post. Also... exposure is something you can keep as a last resort weapon. I mean, if he drops this mess, maybe you won't have to expose him...today. Otherwise, I guess you don't have a lot of choice if he persists.. ;);)
May 12 - 6PM (Reply to #22)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

izzy

I also wonder if your therapist could attest to your having PTSD, connect with an attorney and have this stupid charge tossed out?? This is a PERFECT idea, izzy! take advantage and put him on the anonymous exposure sites... screw him... he could try but he couldn't touch you. ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 12 - 2PM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Oh heck , you poor thing ,

Oh heck , you poor thing , they are not happy untill they squash you on the floor . Do not admit to anything , even if you have admitted it to him deny it to the police .You know nothing .. . My heart goes out to you . Its so painfull . In a year or two it will be a distant memory . Is there anyone on here with legal back ground ? All i know is in europe its not a crime . Scoop x
May 12 - 2PM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

izzy

I'm so sorry for what this bastard has done to you ((((hugs)))))! To echo what everyone else has said, NEVER admit anything to the N. It's different if you have to make a sworn testimony, BUT, never the N. Do not give the soul-sucking idiots any ammunition if you can help it. And please do yourself a big favor and stop the contact. It's only hurting you more. If your not in therapy, please start...someone who can help you with all of this trauma.
May 12 - 1PM
enoughalready
enoughalready's picture

izzy

So sorry. The only way to feel better and get your life back is NC. I would have checked his email too if I knew how to get into it without knowing his email password. I had a gut feeling my XN was cheating and lying but never had solid evidence of it. It's your word against his. Ignore him and go NC forever.
May 12 - 12PM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

screw him...and the cops too.........

it's not against the law to read some loser's email!!..... i'd just laugh at that....... did you hack into it?....if you did...deny it and say he gave you the password.....
May 12 - 1PM (Reply to #5)
broken23
broken23's picture

narc narc i did go in and

narc narc i did go in and changed the password. yes in hindsight stupid...but the day i found out i wasnt myself. now im going to have to pay...
May 12 - 1PM (Reply to #6)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

again...screw him.......

this is WAR....i hacked into every email account i ever found the psycho to have...... he'd done a hell of a lot worse things to me....when he murdered my dog...i told him i knew he'd done it....and he said....'prove it, bitch..prove it!'...... i said the same to him when i hacked into his emails...'prove it, bitch..'......and of course he couldn't...this is a he said she said...unless you confess..... take a page out of their own Narc handbook...and NEVER confess to anything.........
May 12 - 6PM (Reply to #8)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

never confess!

izzy - NEVER CONFESS!!! NEVER just say he gave you the password, if he denies it; it's he said/ she said and the courts will toss the charges... and he can bend over and take it 2 can play that game ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 12 - 10PM (Reply to #9)
broken23
broken23's picture

barbara i wish i knew that

barbara i wish i knew that then. the thing is he has a record of me going in changing it b/c it was a school account. regardless the reason i had access in the first place is b/c he had no problem giving me all his information when he used me to file his taxes. he is just a bastard. he damn well knows i only went in to see his lies. now he is punishing me and trying to ruin my professional reputation. i feel so helpless. if a prosecutor does take the case, ill be so terrified but hopefully they have better things to prosecute than a scorned ex-girlfriend.
May 14 - 12PM (Reply to #16)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

I agree

He gave you the pass word? How can he prove you misused this. Me thinks this is just threats. Have you seen the police report? Sometimes these guys make things up. Just to scare you. You can get a copy of the polie report for free. That is, if he actually filed one. Chill. I have a feeling this is going nowhere. As I said earlier, what's the crime?
May 12 - 10PM (Reply to #10)
better off
better off's picture

Ahhh HA! He gave you all

Ahhh HA! He gave you all his information when he used you to file his taxes!!! HE trusted you with his password AND all his financial information. "OBVIOUSLY, Mr Prosecutor, this man is trying to harass me." He gave you the password. They have no evidence of anything. You ought to sue him for maliciously filing a police report. And you ought to tell the prosecutor you will sue for malicious prosecution if they take you to court.
May 12 - 11PM (Reply to #11)
broken23
broken23's picture

better off is there such a

better off is there such a thing as malicious prosecution? i will look into that. yes they are making it sound like im some crazy hacker. stupid campus police on a power trip.
May 13 - 12PM (Reply to #13)
better off
better off's picture

I don't know all the details

I don't know all the details of your story? Are you seeing a therapist? Get one. Find someone who has experience dealing with PTSD. This guy gave you PTSD. He is continuing to inflict emotional damage. And you changed a password. That he can't prove you didn't have permission to do. Start building your own "case" to protect yourself. Contact a lawyer for at least a free consultation. Besides, when lawyers talk to prosecutors there is a far different outcome than when little old you does it. You have to take the OFFENSE.
May 13 - 4PM (Reply to #14)
broken23
broken23's picture

better off i made a appt to

better off i made a appt to see therapist but she is not specialized in ptsd...is there any good resource for finding therapists i have contacted a lawyer. he thinks a prosecutor will likely not take the case, but lets see... any ideas would help he told me he only made a report to protect himself. but can the police prosecute something if he is not willing to testify? everyone pray this goes away please....
May 13 - 8PM (Reply to #15)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

PTSD counselors

The Institute for the Reduction of Relational Harm has phone counselors http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/counseling-ctr/a-path-to-recovery-start-here this site is searchable for PTSD counselors http://ptsd.factsforhealth.org/help/searchclinic1.asp ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 13 - 6AM (Reply to #12)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

izzy23

Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Intentional+infliction+of+emotional+distress Malicious Prosecution http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/malicious+prosecution ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 12 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Take out another page

When dealing with a Narc, follow another page from their handbook... don't treat their feelings as if they matter. They don't have any. They only fake it. If they say you're disrespecting them and they do the narcissistic injury routine, act like it doesn't matter. Don't apologize.