SmalltownGirl's Story

So, I met my N. through mutual friends. I was 32 and he was 40 (yes, believe it after you read this story). He was in town for a sporting event and we spent 8 hours that night talking, playing pool and we really had a lot in common and hit it off. The evening ended with an unbelievable kiss and him asking me if he could take me to a concert the following weekend (he lived 2 hours away from me-- now, THANK GOD he wasn't closer).

My first clue should have been the first night I met him, he was divorced and had been for awhile but he also made reference to how a lot of women he dated liked to 'play games". Being the 'good girl' I knew I was different. Little did I know, he was the one who liked to 'play games', especially with my naive head.

He canceled our date for the following weekend due to a conflict with his kids (I thought, no big deal, I understand). For the next month, he called me 3-4 times a week and emailed everyday. If he didn't reach me at home, he called my cell phone. One day he goes off on vacation with his kids and comes back and tells me "we are just better off being friends'. He cares about me, he's attracted to me, he likes me and he's sorry if he led me on and if I don't want to talk to him again, he understands. Like Lisa's blog says "it was like he changed his mind on whether he wanted chicken or steak for dinner." Nonchalant with no emotion, whatsoever. I was upset, hurt by him but I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore and basically 'good luck' with life, no hard feelings.

Four months later, he sends me an email (he found out my new address from a mutual joke a friend had sent to him). Starts out with general conversation and then he moves into talking about the night we met and how much fun we had together. Starts talking about how he wants to see me when he's up my way, suggests how much fun it would be to take a trip to Florida together, he's sure they have pool tables down there (referencing the night we met). He then starts talking about how great it was kissing me and asks me if I am seeing anyone. When I tell him 'no', he says "Well, that's too bad, I'm sure someone will come along and sweep you off your feet." (In my mind, he was only trying to get me to react to him and tell him how much I liked him, missed him, etc... His 'sweet words' meant nothing to him but a way to get attention for himself). I then 'blow him off' in email and just basically tell him it's nice to hear from him, take care.

A few days later, he calls me... goes into this long tirade about how he always has nothing but nice things to say about me when he talks about me with other people. He then tells me that he cannot forget kissing me and it is something he will "never forget" but he's ONLY trying to be my friend, nothing more. I told him, "If you only see me as a friend and you only want to be my friend, why are you saying this stuff to me and talking about how much kissing me meant to you? I don't want to talk about it anymore." He then proceeds to get mad and says "I gotta go." I say "g'bye" and he says "bye!" I then contacted a friend of mine and asked how I could 'block' someone from ever contacting me again and I did it.

To this day, I am happily married, 8 years and he is still single and having problems with relationships. He also likes to make me out to be 'the bad guy'. Go figure!!

My thoughts, his NS ran out, that's why he recontacted me again 4 months after we quit talking the first time. He wanted attention and when I wouldn't give it to him, I became 'the bad guy.' TOO BAD!

Stay strong ladies, NC is the best solution!!