Sly snaky move, what to do?

5 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Oct 1 - 12PM
lady_in_dubai
lady_in_dubai's picture

Sly snaky move, what to do?

hey everybody,
I need some advice here. I have been NC for 6 weeks and the N has broken contact a few times. The other day he left some things that he knows I like in a bag and left it at the door.

I should say that he has been warned off contacting me in any shape by my company, as we both work for the same company. They are very supportive of me in this matter. He has even been told if he values his job that he should stop contacting me, after breaking contact a couple of times.

He also left an envelope with quite a bit of cash and a weird letter. He can see my roster and knows I have had lots of sick days so of course I have no money. I'd love to accept the money as I am really broke.But I am not that gullible any more. What a sly move. He wrote that he will always be the first there for me and he has not broken his promise. He also calls me his dearest. At the end, he wrote that I should take care and that he hopes I am well, as life is fragile.

What the hell. Now I can't get him out of my mind and I'm creeped out that he has been around the apartment. I'm getting paranoid, the locks at my place felt weird, like they had been tampered with.

Would appreciate some advice. Thanks guys.

Oct 3 - 8AM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

He is making you paranoid.

He is making you paranoid. It is how he stays in your head. If your company is supportive watch the sick days so they don't have any reason to put some pressure on you. they have a legal obligation to protect you. think of this just NO CONTACT him, his box of things, and the money. Just be distant, away, and do nothing. Cash in a box at your door is just some compensation for all of his crazy behavior. I worked for the same company and they eventually fired him for other things but he made my life hell. I fainted at work but I was in an office on the weekend so no one knew. After that I got my fear of him in control so I wouldn't let him give me a physical problem on top of all of the emotional abuse. You have to really take care of yourself psychologically, emotionally, and physically. He wants the company to think that you are crazy so he is going to do things to make you act out, get sick, etc. then in his head he wins. After the fainting episode I pulled back, kept my mouth shut, and let fate take its course. All of the lies he told, getting married right away and divorced within a few months, his strange behavior with his female assistant started to 'paint its own picture' and the manager didn't like what he was seeing and got rid of him. When you break up with someone you work with beware the men who come to 'comfort' you I had 3 knocking on my door and that made me more uncomfortable. The low profile road that I took was appropriate for the times today things are a bit more open and the women aren't victimized as quickly. Victimizing the victim is one of the downsides of these workplace stalking things. It sounds like you aren't getting any of that. His reputation is going to make him unemployable eventually.
Oct 1 - 3PM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Creepy is right

Don't ignore your instincts, I'd slap him with a restraining order, refuse all attempts at contact & return envelopes (unopened), and see if there is a way that you can block your intinerary @ work from him seeing it. How stupid when they send those cryptic messages, 'life is fragile'...a-hole. If you can move, do so, even if your complex can relocate you to the other side of the building in the meantime. Be aware of your surroundings and be safe.
Oct 2 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
lady_in_dubai
lady_in_dubai's picture

Thanks guys good advice

Thanks for the advice.That's good then I don't think I am overreacting. It really helps to get advice on this forum. I am silly for opening the envelope, if any more come I will leave unopened.It's just a natural response to open it. Not sure of the law with restraining orders in the UAE. I will push to have my roster taken off the system. I will push harder for my work to do more about this. Thanks again.
Oct 1 - 2PM
dolce (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Cant you get a restraining

Cant you get a restraining order that keeps him a certain distance from you, where you live and work? Then you can call police if he breaks the order. ~Free to Be~