Six months of no contact

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#1 Dec 21 - 8AM

NinjaGirl

Six months of no contact

It was six months ago today, on the summer solstice, when I asked my ex if we could please try again, that he was the love of my life (gag), and that I would trust him if he would please just give me another chance.

To recap, in six years he had broken up with me six times, all of out the blue, and all for bullshit reasons. He's a narcissistic transgender-wannabe momma's boy.

At any rate, he wrote this looong self-involved email, and basically said he didn't feel the same way about me anymore, and that while he missed having a girlfriend, he wasn't sure I was what he wanted anymore.

That did it. I never replied to that message, and sent a very short, curt reply to the bait email he sent a few days later. When he joined Facebook that same day, I blocked his ass.

I can honestly say I was COMPLETELY over him in less than three months. I maintained absolutely no contact, and continue to maintain it now. If he ever contacted me again - and I think he's too scared to - I would absolutely ream him.

So on this, the winter solstice, I just want to thank God and all my gifts of strength and determination for getting me through this. It has been a HARD year, and not just because of my ex, but I got through every single struggle, and I'm still alive, and I'm really content and joyous.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a life-changing new year.

#2 Dec 22 - 12AM

betty2020

We have missed you our

We have missed you our little Ninja girl!! So happy to see you doing so well. Please come back and share with us your message of life after the narc. It is vital to those coming in that are new and gives much hope to those suffering. Very inspirational and much thanks! xoxox Betty only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

#3 Dec 22 - 12AM (Reply to #8)

betty2020

Oops, And a very Merry

Oops, And a very Merry Christmas to you! xoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

#4 Dec 21 - 9AM

really

NG

I think you've done a great job and it's good to hear the stories of recovery. You should be proud of sticking with NC and gutting your way through it. I'm convinced it is the ONLY way to heal from these sick relationships and prepare oneself for better things to come. And they will once we are ready. Blessings to you at Christmas!

#5 Dec 21 - 9AM

spinning

Awesome post,

NinjaGirl. Thank you so much. I am closing in on six weeks NC; our situation is similar, I had almost six years with the jerk and he was constantly leaving for various reasons (mostly to punish me and get me back in line). This time he disappeared for good, changed his phone number and left the area so I couldn't even contact him if I want...contact him to let him have it, "ream him" as you say, which I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO DO. Whatever. I know this is for the best. And I know it would be lost on him. He knows exactly what he did with the final D & D. EXACTLY. The Coward. Whatever. I love this strong, reaffirming post and can appreciate very much the hard work you've put in to reaching the place where you are today. Thank you so much for sharing, and may you have a happy and blessed and peaceful New Year. Sincerely (starting a little to stop) spinning

spinning

#6 Dec 21 - 9AM

Deidre99

I am so happy for you...I've

I am so happy for you...I've been reading a lot from others here too, about strict NC. I'm going on day 6, and it's still a bit saddened, BUT...when I read your post here, and others who have successfully made it through for the long haul, it gives me great hope. I am excited to read this, because apparently NC is what is ultimately needed to move on for good. Thanks for sharing, and merry Christmas to you, too. :=)

#7 Dec 21 - 9AM (Reply to #2)

really

D99

Stick with it. It is the hardest thing EVER. I had an initial relief of finally having questions answered about the oddest behaviors. It was awesome to have explanations, but once that wore off, it was a deep, unfathomable sadness and adjusting to what life was really like w/o him. You will get through it as a lot of us have and it is really the only way to purge your body and emotions of the toxicity of the N. You will be better for it. And you will have a better life. And you will enjoy the peace of not living life on the edge of a blade of a knife. Read, read, read... Hugs, really

#8 Dec 21 - 9AM (Reply to #3)

Deidre99

Yes, I agree. What I don't

Yes, I agree. What I don't miss? My stomach in knots. That ''feeling'' has been wiped away. I noticed it over the weekend. I can check my email, without all that. I don't have to worry, will today be a good or bad day for him? Will he not answer his phone when I call? Am I bothering him? (ugh, I always asked that of him...grrr!) Are we still friends? (another stupid question I asked him a lot, and he would laugh and say oooofff course we are...ugh) No more of that bullshit! The only thing I miss, is the 'me' that existed before him. Truly. That is what I miss. I think the new me might be better now, because that old me fell for a narc, and I'd like to think that the new me would never do that again. This is my second time with a narc. The first was brutal, and I got over that guy, so this should be easier. What stings, is just the building back up of one's hurt self esteem. But, I don't miss him. Maybe I miss the cycle...in some sick way. Like he'd be a jerk...then he'd be a charmer...and all would seem right with the world. I'd be on a cloud. All this time that we remained friends since the break up...perhaps, neither he nor I were ever over the breakup. So, in some ways, I feel like I'm healing from losing someone I thought was a friend, and also from a relationship that physically ended several months ago. Thanks for this advice...I am grateful!

#9 Dec 21 - 11PM (Reply to #4)

D

you can get 'you' back. It never left, but was closed off. Regain you.

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