Signs the Narc has/ or is Trying to Hypnotize You

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#1 Sep 5 - 4PM
Anonymous (not verified)
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Signs the Narc has/ or is Trying to Hypnotize You

The book, "Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain you Dry" has some very helpful information on how to recognize when a narcissist (or other disordered character) is hypnotizing you. You look for the signs in your own reactions:

"Make sure you recognize the warning signs of hypnosis: instant rapport, deviating from standard procedure, thinking in superlatives, discounting objective information, and confusion." Emotional Vampires, pg. 48

These are all signs you look for in yourself.

Here is a summary, mostly in my own words, of each of these warning signs. See the book for more details:

Instant rapport --
That wonderful feeling that you are instantly "clicking" with someone you've just met is a clear warning sign. You have likely stumbled into someone who has either done their research before "accidentally" meeting you or before a job interview, or they are quick to assess what it is you think about yourself and are careful to reflect back to you what you want to hear.

Deviating from standard procedure --
Suddenly you find yourself making exceptions and doing things very differently than you normally do for someone you don't know well.

Thinking in superlatives --
You've just met the most wonderful, most incredible, most charming and thoughtful person ever. Big red sign that someone is messing around inside your head. The author says, "distorted perceptions usually involve superlatives". He also points out that the superlatives can be negative too.

Discounting objective information --
You've been swept off your feet in no time flat. You're loving how you feel around this person -- so much so that you are now avoiding objective sources of information about this person. Or, if you do hear things you don't want to hear, you tell yourself it is somehow different for you. He's different with you. He was different back then. When you find yourself avoiding getting objective information about this person you have a clear sign in yourself that you're very happy in this little fantasy that's been created for you and don't want the bubble popped. You're in trouble if you keep this up. Remember, this doesn't just apply to romantic partners. It can happen with a fellow church or club member, a co-worker, boss, employee, etc.

Confusion --
"Hazy understanding of the reasons for your own reactions, coupled with unusual certainty, is a pretty clear sign that somebody has been messing with your mind." pg. 29

If you find any of these signs in yourself, most particularly when dealing with someone you don't know very well, it is imperative that you stop whatever you're doing and analyze the situation. Don't be afraid to ask yourself why you are reacting the way you are. Be honest with yourself. Don't discount your answers.

Some additional observations about someone who makes you feel confused. Don't assume you're an idiot. See it as a warning sign and stop to figure out what is really happening. I have learned that when someone is making me feel confused and pressured at the same time then I know that I must put them off. "I'll call you with my answer tomorrow." If they say that it'll be too late tomorrow then I now know my answer must be a firm "no thanks". When someone is trying to baffle you with bull-shit and then, in your confused state, try to force you to come up with an immediate response you are dealing with a high-pressure salesman or an emotional vampire.

http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com

Dec 17 - 6PM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

the confusion and hypnotic

the confusion and hypnotic talk and speech are all old games for the salesman and the conman. It causes the listener to be held in their power and is about controlling someone for their benefit. Normal people don't do any of that in conversation. I know a few people who have lost money to con men and all of them felt confused and then hypnotized. one lawyer who fell for an old bait and switch con involving money in a bag allegedly found in the street was amzed they conned him as he knew the con. He just was led into a trap by tone of voice. Anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable needs to be left in the dust. It doesn't matter if you are right or wrong you are safe! Any man who tells you an 'I' story about something that envokes sympathy or empathy when you first meet them is also looking for trouble. No normal man is going to tell you some tale about a recent break-up or divorce where he is the victim. Men don't tell victim stories on themselves. The guy is looking for someone who empathizes and will become his victim.
Sep 27 - 4AM
Marie
Marie's picture

Yes

Thinking in superlatives and instant rapport, that's him. He admitted to doing an internet search during the relationship. So from the beginning he knew some things about me way before we met.Unfortunately my work keeps my name out there. I've been able to erase some of my footprints on here that's more personal but the professional stuff can't really put a lid on.
Sep 13 - 9PM
James (not verified)
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Trying to Hypnotize You

Been reading this tonight and it's a great site called EOPC also thought it might be able to break it down whenever one gets involved with a sociopath and feel they were hypnotized. It gave me some information I really never knew before and hope it will be helpful to others.. Monday, September 14, 2009 PREDATOR OF THE MONTH: Glenn S. Capers - REDUX We are quickly losing track of the emails we get from women about this guy. It's close to 20 now! That's more than we have ever gotten on ANY OF OUR OTHER PREDATORS. And Mr. Capers - we know you come to this site, we know people at your police precinct and we will continue to pass along the information we recieve about your non-stop rage & harassment of your victims for blowing the whistle on your games. You're a predator, Capers - and you belong in a cage in our opinion. It's sad that it takes so long to gather information to prosecute computer crimes and online harassment but it's underway. You've left tracks you can't erase and apparently you're getting busted was waaaay overdue. - EOPC http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2009/05/predator-of-month-glenn-s-capers.html
Sep 8 - 6AM
Barbara (not verified)
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hypnotized?

SEE TOP POST ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck
Sep 20 - 9AM (Reply to #6)
faith999
faith999's picture

hypnotized? oh yes!

"Discounting objective information" Many years ago after date #3 with the n I was telling my best friend, of over twenty years, about every little deatail of my new relationship. She was quiet after listening to me go on and on. Then she said these words to me "He's a narcissist" Well how dare she. I told her in no uncertain terms that she did not know him and she had no right to say that about him. She told me that she would prefer that I not speak of him if she could not tell me what she really thought. That twenty year friendship ended after that. I never saw her again. I have to add she was a therapist and she knew what she was talking about. So yes I was hypnotized by the bastard but I always knew something wasn't quite right about him even in the "honeymoon phase" I miss my friend ,still after all these years..I don't miss him!
Sep 27 - 6AM (Reply to #7)
Rose-Marie (not verified)
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He is a narcissist

I think I will be very grateful from now on if someone says to me "he is a narcissist". Unfortunately, I had to work most of it out for myself. If someone said that, it would certainly make me sit up and take notice at the very least - it is such a defining statement. I remember N2 (who worked in mental health) referring to certain people in the public eye as being narcissistic. It is a word that is rarely bandied about in the UK. N2 also stated that he did not put photographs of himself around the house as one narcissist he knew did. I could kick myself now. If I have a relationship in the future and the N word is mentioned, I will be off. Rosy
Sep 20 - 12AM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

did he really hypnotize me?

SEE TOP POST ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck
Oct 27 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
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he hypnotized me? really?

SEE TOP POST ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Dec 15 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Signs the Narc has/ or is Trying to Hypnotize You

READ TOP POST ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Mar 16 - 11PM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
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Signs the Narc has/ or is Trying to Hypnotize You

READ TOP POST! ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims