Sick and tired of bumping into him at work

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#1 Mar 22 - 5PM
Timehelps2
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Sick and tired of bumping into him at work

For those of you out there who have to work with them, I know you can relate. I am tired of the emotional slap I get everytime I see him. Even though it's been months and I don't want him (ugh!) and I can honestly say I'm glad you're HER (or probably THIER) problem now, I dread that chance turning of the corner and bumping into him. I've repeately told him that we can't be friends and now we are chilly and formal but it's a game that swings all over the place of when he feels like popping in and saying hi. Just needed to come on and give a big groan to someone.

Mar 23 - 1PM
JRB123
JRB123's picture

See mine every week too - it's tough!

Yep! know the feeling - it sucks! I see mine every week. His son and my daughter are in the same school class. I live really near the school and he parks right outside my house. Also this week he seemed to wait for me. He waited for me until I had said goodbye to the kids then he walked a few steps ahead of me. Then I stopped to chat to some parents, so did he. Then, when I walked on he stopped his chat and made it so I happened to meet him as I was walking along. Talk about attention seeking! Generally I mumble a polite hello but keep well out of his way. He also waits in his car outside my house until I come home and then he drives off, like he was watching me. I get the feeling he really wants to talk to me but no way am I ever going there again. I feel a strong physical attraction to him so it's very hard. I have been NC for about 6 months now but think about it loads. I think it is so much easier to get them out of our minds if we don't see them. When I don't see him life is a whole lot better and he is more of a minor irritation. When I see him it becomes something big again. Good luck with your new job and moving forwards. I think it will help you loads.
Mar 23 - 9AM
sunflowergrl70
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Same thing.

He will NOT give up. He comes to my office and tries to seduce me back and then when I refuse he get's angry and abusive! I am actually changing jobs to get away from him. Taking a step down the career ladder which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Just hard leaving the place I've worked at for 7 years! In truth my professional credibility is shot because of our "issues" so it's time for me to go where nobody knows me.
Mar 22 - 5PM
lavendar19
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Totally know where you're

Totally know where you're coming from. I go to uni with the e x N so I used to be constantly terrified of seeing him, bumping into him or his friends, etc... it affected even my academics. That is...until I took up his offer of friendship and fell right back into square one. Stay strong. I know exactly how you feel, and it will get better with time (if you resist their manipulation tactics and sweet nothings) I promise
Mar 22 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
Timehelps2
Timehelps2's picture

I've gotten past the d&d, the

I've gotten past the d&d, the glares of suspicion & paranoid accusations because he thought I was causing him trouble (no, it's HIS constant drama filled life causing it), the attiude from his new source(s), the turn around and hovering with offers of promotions...on and on. Worst part is how I am keeping everyones secrets. I just want to scream in the middle of the company and point "LOOK! He's not who you think he is and all of you who can't stand him? You have no idea how bad he really is! Stay away-far away!" I'm trying so hard to find another job but it's hard to find other work at the same level and I can't afford to take just any pay with my family situation. My friends tell me to go to management or get a lawyer because it's sexual harassment but you all know we are not dealing with normal people and that's possibly like throwing gas on a fire. Honestly, I look at myself sometimes and think "What on earth have you gone and gotten yourself into?"
Mar 23 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
mystwoman
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"What on earth have you gone

"What on earth have you gone and gotten yourself into?" I totally understand you on that one. I work in an office one door away from xnh. If he so much as farts, I can hear it. I absolutely hate being butted up against him constantly. I'm SOO sick of seeing him, hearing him, and like you, I just want to run screaming up and down the halls, "LOOK! He's not who you think he is and all of you who can't stand him? You have no idea how bad he really is! Stay away-far away!" I have a mutual "friend" with xnh that, as of two weeks ago, I'm completely distancing myself from. However, this did not occur before the friend had yet another "security leak" to xnh. EVERYTHING seems to go directly back to xnh through this guy. I feel like I'm not only constantly being poked with a stick, but now xnh had this friend trained to poke me FOR him. This guy absolutely refuses to shut up about xnh...no matter how many times I've requested it (and I have many times). This whole mess is way beyond old for me. Several weeks ago, I had made a comment to this mutual friend (before I started distancing from him) about how xnh doesn't give a flying crap about the wife he had (me), and that I'm sure xnh doesn't even miss me. He may miss my wallet but he doesn't miss me. The mutual friend must have been on the phone with xnh less than 5 seconds after he dropped me off, because the next morning xnh came into my office (even though I've filed harassment complaints against xnh, and he is forbidden to contact me on company property). Xnh walks into my office unannounced (SURPRISE!) and says, "I don't mean to bother you." Yes, he did. That's exactly why he's there. lol. Then he says, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry I hurt you, and I do miss you." Then he left. I'm sure his whole point was NOT that he misses me or has any remorse for hurting me. Xnh was letting me know that the friend repeats everything I say to him. Well, I'm now done with the friend. I'll just stay out of that little triangle. Thank you very much. :) Xnh will have to find some other way get info that's none of his business, because I'm removing myself from the presence of his little minion. I hope the mutual friend really likes xnh, because that's what he's got. Period. In addition, last week xnh was so obnoxious airing his personal laundry in front of my office door that I went upstairs to upper management and filed a third formal harassment complaint, and requested (again) that our offices be separated from each other SOON. My supervisors are taking this complaint very seriously now that I've gone high enough up the corporate ladder to make real waves. I, also, think that it will help that this VP is female. She seemed very sympathetic with my statement that I'm in a hostile work environment working right next door to my ex. From what she told me, I'm hoping that my office will be on another floor from xnh within a few weeks now. Knock on wood. lol. I've had enough.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Mar 22 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
AJRD
AJRD's picture

I SO feel your pain...

I run into mine at least 3-4 times a day (more, if he's in the mood to cause me headaches). Plus, I get to witness first-hand him hitting on the girl in the office next to me. Fun times...fun times. Grrr.
Mar 22 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
Timehelps2
Timehelps2's picture

I should consider myself lucky!

Oh hon! I think I'd be in jail if I had to see him that much! You talk about supply, he's in charge of hiring his staff and you'd think he ran a modeling agency. Thankfully he's in a different part of the building.