She used the Holiday to make a triangle

The exwn used the day to try to put me and my daughter into a triangle. I was having a very quiet Thanksgiving at home, and had let the exwn have the day with our child because I have work committments and the exwn has her parents close by, so my kid can be with her grandparents for the Holiday.

So I get a text from my kid saying her mom said if I give my daughter some money for black friday her mom will match it. My daughter knows I'm broke, I have already paid for some after school activities for the month that my daughter enjoys, as well as I pay child support to the exwn even though I have my daughter more than half of the time.

I texted my daughter back reminding her that I am short on money and told her that I couldn't afford to give her the money...and awhile later I get a text from the exnw (she has surfaced a couple of times in the last week or so), telling me she will only give our daughter money if I do! I didn't create any of this, I was just sitting at home minding my own business. I so dislike the exwn now, I am just pissed and annoyed that she is trying to make her shopping day with our daughter about me and my willingness to break out with some cash. They really don't ever change or grow-up!

This is my third Thanksgiving since the divorce, but the last two my daughter and I went out of town to spend the weekend with my side of the family, and I didn't have to deal with any nonsense since the kid was with me. I just wanted to vent and complain about the incessant and ongoing nature of dealing with a Narc when there is joint custody involved. I didn't respond at all to the text from the exwn, and it has been calm for the last three hours or so.

I just need to write (and then read what I wrote) that it is about how I handle these situations, not about the Narc. They will always do the drama, the triangulation, the engagement, the dumb-assed manuevers whenever it occurs to them.

I feel sorry for my daughter, and I know that her mom may tell the kid (after she told her they would go shopping tomorrow) that they can't go because I won't chip in. It just put me on a slow burn for a few minutes. When there is a narc involved it seems everybody has to deal with them.

You never can tell how long you will pay for ignoring red flags..there were many flags long long ago..looks like I am not done paying yet. But I didn't respond, and I have not given her that priviledge for quite awhile now. It isn't fair, it isn't easy, but it is the only way to have mostly peaceful days and nights.

ds