She prefers Narc men?

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#1 Sep 6 - 10AM
Sea
Sea's picture

She prefers Narc men?

My exN has a "good friend" who i think is also an N ( suspect). He shares same N traits and is more violent! My exN has been diagnosed a classic N. So i am quite sure abt this guy.

This N man has a wife and kids. He earns alot and his wife n kids depend on him. He's soo proud of himself, seeking attention admiration all the time. He put his wife down n never spend a single weekend with her cos he is too impt playing golf with business associates.

The wife is so needy calling him every minute to ask and talk abt every tiny thing like oh the non stick pan look abit old will the chemical leech out n poison the food? She calls even during his meetings etc. He yells at her stupid cow!

I have always pity her. Then over the last weekend she called me say what a stupid loser woman i am to lose my exN!! Her "N man" is a great man earns loads of $ n could give her a good life! To her that is "love"! To be called stupid cow get ST and D&D is acceptable cos successful man are just meant to be different!! She says i have let go a "golden boy" will "regret" my lifetime.

Serious!! Some woman are just made for the N??!!

Sep 6 - 2PM
Susan32
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I guess I'm not that type

When the ex-Psych prof D&D'd me for his girlfriend, my friends asked me what SHE saw in HIM. She praised him as a philosopher and I thought "let her have him." I thought I was attracted to some of his qualities... turns out I wasn't. He had his few moments of lucidity. Like when he said "Why do you like me?" (during the final D&D) and "You don't want to be stuck with me for the rest of your life." The latter, however, I prize I like a rare jewel. Sometimes, if I'm stuck, I do an "It's a Wonderful Life" with the ex-P, imagining if I had borne his twins a decade ago and married him... turns out it would NOT have been the fantasy I dreamed of. It would've been a nightmare. My fantasy of a great married life would've been that... a fantasy. Sometimes codependent women are attracted to male Narcs. Sometimes female Narcs go for male Narcs. Leave him to her. Invoke "irreconcilable differences."
Sep 6 - 9PM (Reply to #9)
Sea
Sea's picture

quote "Leave him to her.

quote "Leave him to her. Invoke "irreconcilable differences."" Agree!
Sep 6 - 9PM (Reply to #10)
Susan32
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Invoke "irreconcilable diffs"

That's what I did with the ex-Psych prof... told him we were fundamentally INCOMPATIBLE. I sorta played matchmaker&played up his live-in girlfriend as the Ideal Mate. I must've REALLY wanted him off my hands. If she thinks he's a treasure, he's her business. He's one of those "pearls" worth casting before swine.
Sep 6 - 1PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

She's jealous! Youre out and

She's jealous! Youre out and she's stuck! To the curb with this chick! Tell her not only are you out you get half! If she choose to stay good for her! She gets the whole thing, and what a prize indeed! Hunter
Sep 6 - 9PM (Reply to #7)
Sea
Sea's picture

Hunter - she appears

Hunter - she appears genuinely happy about it. So I thot maybe there are specially meant for the Narc! Just that we dont belongs to that category so we are here trying to get away trying to get better. I read some more stuff on this forums, she might also be acting like a minions (spelling?) and brings info to and fro my exN and me. So I should just cut her off. Not at all difficult cos we were never close friends, I knew her because of my exN and we got together for a few dinners as double dates thats all. Sumiko
Sep 6 - 12PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

She isn't a

She isn't a narc............she is delusional. Mark my words, she is in very deep trouble....... Ignore her, you know what he is, and you escaped him. She doesn't and won't. She is beat already as far as I am concerned.........very sad.
Sep 6 - 9PM (Reply to #4)
Sea
Sea's picture

She is surely not a Narc.

She is surely not a Narc. She's is so low self esteem. Her entire self esteem is DERIVED from her N man. Her entire self worth I would say. She is Mrs XXX, her only identity unlike us we are also Ms XXX to our friends and sister/brother XXX to our siblings, darling XXX to our parents etc etc. To her she is only Mrs XXX. Yes indeed she is very sad but she is so into him that she did not see it.
Sep 6 - 11PM (Reply to #5)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Sounds codependent

What's so tragic is how she is in such deep denial. Sounds more codependent than Narc, IMHO.
Sep 6 - 11AM
Used
Used's picture

sea

yes i have found that to....i know someone who,s husband, in and out of prison, not just cheated on her but had 2 children by the ow....she was always crying depressed pulling her hair out..i said why dont you leave[he was rich] and she said i am not going to lose all this...i thought it serves you right then.
Sep 6 - 9PM (Reply to #2)
Sea
Sea's picture

your friend might not be a

your friend might not be a total self dilusion like the woman i mentioned in my original post, just that she dont want to lose the $$.