Marina's story

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#1 Nov 1 - 10PM
Anonymous (not verified)
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Marina's story

Madonna/Whore Complex

I met my exNBF online. We met in person and we got along great. The idealization phase lasted for 3 months. He was assigned to another city for work and we were long distance for a while. He knew I am a virgin and he was expressive about his desires of our "intimate future".

He was reassigned back to the same city were I was and that's when I suspected the D&D began. He offered me zero affection and he said it turned him off when I initiated it. Then I found out he's been cheating on me with sluts. It hurt me so much to think of myself as undesirable while he goes around and sleeps with sluts for NSA sex. He even said at one time that he disliked sluts.

We talked about why he refused to sleep with me or even touch me even though we were officially in a relationship. He said it's because he cannot commit and he'll screw me over. He once said early in the relationship that he's unworthy of me (in a physical sense). Most likely because he sleeps around.

I get that sexual narcissists prefer sluts for their sexual narcissistic supply. I just don't understand why his reasons for not sleeping with me seemed so altruistic. It doesn't add up. Or maybe he just wasn't attracted to me. Madonnas are asexual. Or maybe he's withholding something he knew I wanted.

I ended the relationship after the cheating. I suspect I caused him narcissistic injury. He wanted to remain friends after and even sought my company even if I set boundaries and there was nothing physical involved. We were "friends". I don't understand why he still chooses to spend time with me knowing I "rejected" him and that he'll get no sexual action from me knowing how hyper sexual he is. He did once say I'm the one and that I'm different from the others. On one hand, he still keeps his harem of sluts for his NSA narcissistic supply.

Nov 12 - 4PM
Chloe
Chloe's picture

HE wON!!!

Narcissists can not have intimacy. At least in a sick way he admitted it to you. You most definitely can not be friends, and if you stay "friends," you need to ask yourself what is wrong with you to hang in there as "friends" knowing he is sleeping with "whores" for a lack of a better word, I would really prefer to say, women with low self esteem. Anyway, this guy ain't changing. He has given you insight to who he is. Next, he will be asking you to join him. Stay away, he is big time trouble for you. One night, you may get weak and decide to sleep with him again, what if he slept with a woman who has herpes, crabs, or worse? You need to take the control back in your life. Keep reading about all of us here and find a new friend.
Nov 12 - 10AM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

same here Marina

Aceonelady WITH ME HAPPENNED THE SAME MET ONLINE YEAR AND A HALF LATER I WENT FROM EUROPE TO THE USA TO BE WITH HIM FOR 3 MONTHS HE WAS DEEP IN LOVE COULDNT WAIT ANY LONGER I GOT THERE THE SAME NIGHT WE HAD SEX HE WAS ABIT SHY I THOUGHT HE GOT ERECTION ISSUES AND HE SAID IS NOT YOU IS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAD SEX HE SAID I SAID DONT WORRY AND I MEANT I WAS HAPPY TO BE THERE SEX OR NOT.THE DAY AFTER ZERO AFECTION AND THE THIRD DAY WE HAD SEX (10 MINUTES)WHEN HE WAS DONE HE WENT TO SMOKE A CIGARETTE DIDNT EVEN LOOKED AT ME ANYMORE ! THE OTHER DAY HE SAID HE WASNT ATRACTED TO ME BUT I SHOULD STAY AS FRIENDS AND I DID.I COULDNT UNDERSTAND .IF I TOUCHED HIM ON THE SHOULDER OR SOMETHING HE WOULD SAY DONT TOUCH ME FRIENDS DONT DO THAT WITH EACH OTHER BUT HE WOULD SOMETIMES WAKE ME UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND JUST HUG ME AND GIVE ME A KISS ON MY FOREHEAD.WHEN I CAME BACK TO HOLLAND AFTER 2 MONTHS HE SAID I WONT CONTACT YOU NEVER AGAIN .I AM CONFUSED FEEL DEPRESSED AND I KNOW HE WATCHES PORN AND MASTURBATES A LOT AND IREALLY DO SUSPECT HIM TO PICK UP CHEAP PROSTITUTES TOO HE SAID I AM DIRT YOU ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME . I AM DEVASTED I LOST SOMEONE I TOUGHT WAS MY FRIEND HE SAID I WASNT ATRACTIVE (I AN) AND SEX WITH ME WAS GROSS.HE IS ALWAYS ON THE NET WATCHING PORN AND MASTURBATING AND HE TOLD ME HE IS ALREADY TALKING TO SOMEBODY ELSE AND SHE IS A LOT LIKE ME HE SAID! I AM DEVASTED PLEASE BELIEVE ME I SPENT 2 MONTHS TRYING TO KEEP AT LEAST FRIENDSHIP BUT NOTHING I DID HELPED ! YOU CAN NEVER SATISFY THEM IS NOT US IS THEM THEY MAKE NO SENSE.MY SELF ESTEEM IS ZERO AND MY TRUST IN MEN LESS THEN ZERO THE WORST IS I MISS HIM I REALLY THINK HE DID BRAINWASHED ME IS A YEAR AGO AND I HAD THERAPY AND I AM STILL NOT OK.PLEASE GET AWAY FROM HIM FAST.THEY PUSH AND PULL THEY BREAK YOU AND THEN THEY SAY WE ARE THE UNBALANCED ONES. PLEASE STOP ALL CONTACT HE WILL DRIVE YOU CRAZY AND HE WILL TROW YOU AWAY.

Aceonelady

Nov 4 - 8PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

welcome Marina

Welcome... - Get yourself Lisa's book (link at right) - Please go through ALL the pages on 'Message Board' as I have loaded it with articles and your questions have probably already been asked and answered many many many times. Click through ALL the pages and read what interests you. You'll get up to speed and learn a LOT. - Please read through our whole blog: http://allabouthim.com - chock full of articles about Ns and healing - Get yourself in THERAPY with a trauma counselor ASAP!!!! You have been hypnotized & need deprogramming and that will take a lot of time. - listen to our free radio show - archived at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim Break it off ASAP - it will NOT get better. Sorry ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help
Nov 2 - 6AM
quietude (not verified)
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marina

Please break off this so-called friendship with this creep! N's in a lot of cases collect women like objects to get any kind of N supply they need. He's getting 'something' out of you, but it has nothing to do with what's healthy for YOU, and in fact, is just harmful. Welcome to the forums, please keep reading, you'll see a lot of similarities in what you went through in others' stories.