Louie_Lu Story

1 post / 0 new
#1 January 3, 2018 - 9:16am
Louie_Lu
Louie_Lu's picture

Louie_Lu Story

I am new to this forum. I had no idea what Narcissism was until I was discarded in the worst possible situation. I married a wonderful man. He had his faults. He was moody, not the best with money but he was caring and loving and treated my daughter and I well. I never saw the red flags or I ignored the red flags. We got married in September. We talked of having a baby and he wanted one before we got married. I wanted it the right way so we stopped birth control a month before our wedding. We had problems and I started to feel during wedding planning maybe I should walk away. But in true N fashion he became my dream again. I chalked it up to wedding stresses. We found out we were pregnant 3 days after the wedding. I thought we had the perfect life. He was going to adopt my daughter and we were going to have this baby. His son from a previous relationship was having temper tantrum issues and really stressing us out. My husband made a comment that he would have to stop seeing him for the safety of our daughter and new baby. This comment made me feel uncomfortable. His son directed his anger toward me and I thought it was because I had rules. Our relationship took a turn for the worse a few weeks after the wedding. He started to go out drinking with friends 1-2 nights a week. End of September he told me of possible business trip he'd have to go on in October. There was back and forth at work if it was going to happen. Our relationship got worse and worse. Then 3 days before this trip told me how our family was his life. He went on this trip I didn't hear from him at all. He was sick and busy working. He came home and same day brought flowers into my workplace for me. We had sex that night but I felt him distant. We took "our" daughter trick or treating and the next night I took care of him because he was sick. Then thursday morning he started a fight with me and Friday he left. He left me for almost 4 weeks in limbo in our home while he stayed with a "friend". Come to find out the business trip wasn't a business trip. He was with this woman and he moved in with her the day he left. He blamed everything on me said he regretted marrying me and that he resented me for how I treated his son. When I found out the truth, all from his son's mother, I was devasated but relieved to have answers. I learned many more lies from my relationship through his son's mother. His son still doesn't want to see him (so not me). It is so hard as I'm pregnant. I struggled with the idea of abortion but I was far along by the time I found out the truths and gave up hope at saving my marriage. I was afraid to make an emotional decision I'd regret. I still keep in contact with his son and his son's mother because my son will forever be connected. I love his son because I was never bad to him like he made me believe. I wanted the best and always tried. My daughter is recovering fast as she just turned 3. I'm 20 weeks pregnant and finally starting to reconnect with the baby again. I have been 4 weeks no contact. He has tried 2x since. But this weekend told his son that his son will never see the baby and to stop talking about it. This made me so sad for the abuse his son still endures and said for my son as his "father" is already disowning him. He threatened to serve me with divorce for weeks and I have yet to receive anything. I just want to be done. I am on this emotional roller coaster and hormonal which makes everything worse. His family is fully behind him and none have reached out to me the mother of their grandson/nephew. He wanted this baby and marriage and family so bad only to drop us for a woman 10 years his senior that makes more money and has no kids. I do not hate her because I know his lies but I do not understand how she can ignore the pregnant wife in his lies. She is a psychology professor which is ironic in my opinion. I guess there is no immunity in Narcissist manipulation.