icanseeclearlynow's story
icanseeclearlynow's story
I am new to this board. In fact this is my first post and I can't tell you how relieved I am to find a place that seems to make sense of what my life is. Can you tell me if this is N behavior? I find myself doubting and I know that can be a symptom of being in the control of an N. My N called me (We have been married 23 yrs) and his conversations are did you do this did you do that....and I mentioned that this morning the hot water didn't seem so hot when I took my shower and wondered if he turned the hot water heater down. He said "no" and started over reacting about the possibility of hot water tank not working....or we are out of propane....and he was freaking out.
I am used to his drama on the phone and I remained calm. He said to go check the heaters and see if the flame comes on. I said I will. He said run the hot water in the sink and I said I will. He wanted me to run around with the phone and do it as he was commanding me....but to tell you the truth I was trying to take a nap and I didn't want to do it that second. So then he hung up because he had to do something at his work and then not 3 minutes later he called back and said "well?" I said what? Did you do those things (I was still lying down) I said no. He started yelling "Well don't you think those things are IMPORTANT? I thought you would have done them while I was talking about it!!"
I was silent on the other end because I didn't feel like I had to explain myself. Isn't it right that we shouldn't explain away ourselves? He hung up on me standing there holding the phone. I finished my nap. Did I handle this right? Is this N behavior? That was 3 hrs ago and he hasn't called again. He usually calls about 5 times a day. How should I act when he gets home? Just normal? He might give me the silent treatment which is usually what happens.
I am looking forward to support from this group so I can have the courage to stand up for myself and leave. I need help.
Not sure, sounds like you have a controller and abuser
icanseeclearlynow
Thank you. I feel so much