His Compulsive Lying vs His Ability to Make Me Feel Like The Most Important Thing In His Life

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#1 October 16, 2017 - 5:00am
B1234's picture

His Compulsive Lying vs His Ability to Make Me Feel Like The Most Important Thing In His Life

I geniuinely believe I have found someone who is PERFECT for me! Not because of submission and over the top gestures but because we genuinely mentally connect, we both have the same humor, same hard working ethic, same options and problem solving ideas. We finish each other's sentences and often end up saying the same thing at the same time. As such, we soon entered into business together. We have a very clear ideas of who is responsible for what however it very quickly began that of course all of his jobs were far more important than any of mine.

This aside, this man is everything i would ever want out of a partner. We spend most of our relationship in private, just the 2 of us and the connection is ridDiculous, the fun times, laughter and natural feeling we have around each other is something i have never experienced before.

However, there has been one constant theme of negativity, and that is trust! I gave a ton of trust which was broken. He has turned out to be a complusive liar. Something i guess i knew from day one but I believed it would change and perhaps wasn't going to out weight the positives. Very quickly, I find myself, questions EVERYTHING. HE is a VERY VERY smart man with a very dominating presence. Through his work, he has 100s of people surronding him who will drool at his every word, jump at his every command and crave his praise and attention. In his work and day to day life, i have watched him lie to these people every single day. Constantly. Even when unnecessary.

And of course, i have learnt he has done the same to me. LIed contstantly thourgh out our relationship about big things and little things. I have overlooked a lot because of the love i have for him but i am now destroying myself with doubt and insecurity. I have found i have changed from a very independent and confident woman, to one that feels insecure and doubts everything he says. His lies make me feel pathetic and when i confront him with them i feel even more pathetic.

I can not believe how good his is at it. He can manipulate his way out of ANY situation. He can convince anyone of anything. And I can stand in front of him knowing the truth about a situation and he will manage somehow to come up with a plausible story. Now i know its not true, but he is able to make e doubt that, he is able to stand in fron of me with so much passion and conviction, telling me what I believe is wrong! How i have misunderstood a situation, taken thing out of context and everything i know, even things other people have told me are lies. That they are all lying to me because they are not trust worthy and that he is telling me the truth. That he would never risk lying to me and loosing me. That I am the only person in the world he cares about, that he needs me and to lie and risk loosing me is not something he would ever do! Even with the facts, even after people have told me the truth, he will continue this while looking straight into my eyes.

I break because i know he is lying, i break because i fear what he is capable of, i break because i love him so much that part of me wants to ignore the truth and fall back into his arms.. Arms that are my favorite place to be,. I question wether outing up with his continual lies, self obsession, giant ego are things i can live with.
HE genuinely believes everyone in the world is dumb and he is the only smart one, he is the only one who sees things correctly and everyone else I'd dumb, emotional and weak. He has no humane feelings for anyone. He can watch me break down in tears and he will continue his lies. He will hear of emotional traumas people are going through and he will simply see them as weak. But while he does his, he tells me that i am the only person he actually cares for, that apart from me, everyone around him is stupid. Together we formed this power couple and team who stood strong side by side and are building an empire. BUt i guess, part of me is simply waiting for him to flip on me.

I found the posts about fidelity interesting. He has been a playboy and is only still in his 20s. He is friends with all his exes,al though he denied and kept it hidden at first. It soon became clear he is still friends with them all. This is strange to me and the fact that he will keep their contact hidden from me is worse. He always wasn't to be seen as the most powerful man in the room, everyone must answer to him, crave him. He still communicate with his exes but he will also still communicate with thier families too. Telling me its just a conversation or his exes mum is working with him. Again, i want to believe everything and i guess i do but what strikes me is that he has never been interested in my family and has kept his distance.
I have 2 young children and in after 3 years, they are still not comfortable with him. He has had minimal conversations with my family and I guess at this stage i feel uncomfortable even getting them together because i eel he will be judging them and mentally putting them down.

I know this situation is not right, but i loved this man with all my heart. He has hurt me and broken me but i honesty don't believe i will ever find someone I genuinely connect with this much. The fun we have, the menta connection we have, they silly things we do, the way we work together, he genuinely makes me a better version of me. While at the same time, makin me feel insecure. The thought of loins him out of my life, is killing me. Staying friends makes me feel like all the other exes who 'stayed friends' with him. But with a business together, total no contact is never going to be possible.

I am lost and broken. Is just want my best friend back

November 7, 2017 - 11:18am
Russell1331's picture

I can relate


November 16, 2017 - 2:57am (Reply to #2)
Nubeginnings's picture