Help! Is it me or is he a Narc!

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#1 January 9, 2017 - 9:25am
Bigheartblondey's picture

Help! Is it me or is he a Narc!

I really need some help understanding if I have been a victim of Narc abuse. I feel I must have been as I'm a strong smart woman who is doubting herself and I feel like I'm the one going mad. Bullet point facts below, can anyone help?!

- together almost 5 years, first 6 months when unofficial he cheated on me numerous times (you think I would know then) but persisted to chase me for the next 6 months
- so loving, he loved my "quirks", moved in fast but every time I travelled for business he was weird and distant
- always messaging a lost love on Facebook, said his ex was crazy and finished him on Facebook (recently twisted so many facts about our ending and said he realised it was over when my mum messaged him on Facebook... wtf?)
- blames his "bad memory" if I call him
- lost interest In sex 18 months in, I then find he has online dating profiles and has been having Skype sex with many women via chat roulette. When busted he blamed his lack of sex drive and said it was helping him. When caught again he said he kept doing it as my reaction was ridiculous....
- flirty, life and soul but always needs a strong woman I.e me and his business
- was taking a woman out to get business as friends but she thought he was single
- always played the supportive man, bragging about my job and status but I always felt a disconnect
- very emotional would cry at the drop of a hat when threaten to leave
- told me he was going to propose then In a moment of honesty he never was then when we split he told people he was! He then told me it would have been the biggest mistake of his life!
- told people I was insecure and crazy (like his poor ex) and just up and left him when he backed me into a corner as he didn't have the balls to say it himself. Playing the victim card
- never apologised for anything instead on a message recently he told me he met someone and won't deny it and how amazing she is, he didn't plan for it (met 3 weeks after we seperated) and he is so happy almost relieved we didn't make it!
- lied and stopped me moving out twice and twists that future
- claims he misses the dogs so much however when they were with him they were never walked, he was never there and ants in their bowl!
- it seems as if when he sees me going well he has to say something cruel (I.e new woman) and pleads he is just being honest as better for me to hear from him....

Wtf has just happened?! He has been in relationships all his life but 3 weeks bites the biscuit?!! Am I going mad? I feel I have so many more examples of the wolf in sheeps clothing... appreciate your thoughts in advance

January 26, 2017 - 4:00pm
Donna crowe
Donna crowe's picture


January 18, 2017 - 1:44pm
Goldie's picture

Ah, dating sites, a Narcissists Playground

January 16, 2017 - 12:43pm
ItsWhatItIs's picture

Hard to say