Freedom2BeMe's story

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#1 October 12, 2009 - 7:31pm
Anonymous (not verified)
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Freedom2BeMe's story

I entered my relationship with my N a relatively happy and strong woman.. after only 8 months I was pretty much brainwashed by him successfully to feel shame at myself. He had been so subtley corrosive and it was just getting worse until he D & D me.

I had no sense of my own worth left.. and had been projected into successfully... with all his negative disowned aspects I now realise.. brainwashed to feel shameful and worthless..

I heard recently to think about their criticisms and insults as it is actually a brilliant insight into their own internal world.. to find out how THEY tick...

I managed never to get hoovered back in but 6 months on I am still running over it in my head.. and crying a lot. He fed me so many lies and empty promises... I had no reason to doubt that I was his future and the mother of his children etc etc etc.... until he started to look at me with such hatred and for no apparent reason.. devaluation underway....

After occupying the pathological space with him I think I had PTSD

Anyway I now see he is an abuser out right... I went to Therapy and told of the emotional abuse that has insidiously crept in behind his false self and had slowly taken over.... My therapist used the words 'Domestic Violence' so I know I am blessed to be free of this NPD.

I tried to get closure and he was not available for it at the time.. so I cut him off and asked him not to contact me.. he has tried several times.. but I have managed to totally ignore him.

I think I was too hurt to go there...

Anyway now I am free.... I intend to stay N/C forever...

On my 40th birthday he texted me and said 'Happy Birthday. I hope this does not spoil your day. Thinking of you'... still a megalomaniac then.... and happy to potentially spoil my day... nice.


October 13, 2009 - 10:03pm
Barbara (not verified)
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- Get yourself Lisa's book. Link on right. - PLEASE scroll through ALL the pages on 'Message Board' as I have loaded it with articles and your questions have probably already been asked and answered many many times. Click through the pages and read what interests you. You'll get up to speed and learn a LOT. - read our blog: - chock full of articles about Ns and healing - listen to our free radio show: him ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
October 13, 2009 - 6:44am
4joys (not verified)
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Thanks for writing your

Thanks for writing your story. I see my own in it.