Flosters story

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#1 Apr 24 - 8AM
floster99
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Flosters story

Hi everyone!!

I thought i would share my story to try and get some answers and clarification around what is happening to me at the moment.

So two and a half years ago i met a man, he was 27 and i was 39 at the time, we met online, he lived quite a way from me so we just had fun to begin with as i had not long come out of a 10 year relationship. He ticked all the boxes for me, we had fun, liked the same things i did, mature for his age, constantly giving me compliments which i lacked in my previous relationship. He made me feel so good about myself, the sex was amazing however this may have been down to the fact we only saw each other every other weekend, the chemistry was insane!

He was extremely handsome (we looked great together and people always said so), my family loved him, he was very charming, however there was a few instances at the start which made me question him sometimes? He lied about driving (he couldn't drive) and he made out he owned his own home (he lived with his mother), anyway obviously when things got serious and feelings came into it he had to own up. Not driving and owning his house didnt bother me as i fell in love with him and not what he owned! He also lied about his status at work, said he was a site manager in fact he was a labourer (again this doesnt bother me).

I have a little boy and he struggled to accept him in our relationship, i thought as time would go on he would learn to love him, dont get me wrong he was never horrible but when my son was around his mood would change, he would go silent, not engage with him almost jealous that he didnt have my full attention which he would have most weekends when he was with his dad.

he moved into his own place last year with a friend right in the centre of a town which was great as we had more space when i went to see him, we could go out for meals without me having to drive everywhere, things were great. We had the discussion right at the beginning of the relationship as we were long distance that i didnt want to do long distance forever and he agreed to this, we said by the time i was due to finish my degree we would move in together. I ended up getting a house and he said he would move in with me this May (this was his decision) so for 8 months we talked about the future etc.

Last year i had a lot of stress on in my life, moved into my house which i had to renovate, eldest son got into a bit of trouble, i had an operation plus 2 important assessments for uni (im a midwife), at this point i gained a few pounds 8-10 or so? i used to go running and he started asking me when i was going to do this again?? i also caught him friend requesting a random attractive younger lady on facebook, initially he denied it but i messaged her and she said he requested her, he then came out with it that he was just curious? he didnt need to friend request her for curiosity as her profile was public?? i was very upset as im so trusting and not a jealous person and with all the compliments he gave me i felt like i was the only woman for him (until now). Obviously my putting weight on had upset him in some way and was looking elsewhere! He said he would delete his facebook to give me peace of mind, i did not want him to this was his suggestion?

Anyway over the last few months he became quite distant and not himself, valentines day he made no effort whatsoever (previous years he did), i asked him what was wrong and he said he needed to speak to me, he called me and said he couldnt move in with me, he didnt want to leave what he had, i was very upset about the whole thing and ended the relationship as hard as it was for me i wanted to be with him more than what i did. He sent me texts saying how he will always love me and that he will always have a place for me in his heart, he said i was a beautiful little soul etc etc. 3 weeks into that he texts me saying he wanted to take me out for my birthday, i accepted as felt like i needed to say goodbye properly. He took me to a lovely restaurant, bought me jewelry and i cried a lot! He said he will move in with me but wants to do his driving first (fair enough) he said he will get onto it straight away. I asked if he saw anyone else over the last 3 weeks and he said no he would never do that to me, we ended up back at mine and had great sex all day!

I went to see him the following weekend with my son as needed to see how he was with him after all the things he said to me, he was exactly the same, moody, unengaging, moaned at him constantly, i left a little deflated as thought he would be making more effort now. later in the week i asked him if he sorted his driving licence out (he said he would sort this asap) nearly 2 weeks had passed and he didnt even know how much it would cost? i voiced my concerns because he already changed the goalposts before and was worried he would do it again, also voiced my concerns about my son and said we needed to talk about this the weekend. 2 hours later he basically sent raging texts to me about how im being too demanding??? he never demands anything, im on his case and he will never be happy if he has to live with my son!! he told me he will go and have a family of his own (he said he never wanted kids - i got sterilised because of that!), and he ended it, just like that! he said he did love me but he doesnt anymore??? i was shocked? im not a demanding person, im so laid back, he went out and did whatever he wanted to, i couldnt beliuve how someone could turn off thier feelings like a switch??

That night i went to bed and woke up to lots of abusive messages, nasty horrible ones that attacked me personally, called me fat etc and said how my son is the most horrible child he has ever come accross, i assumed he was drunk so just told him how horrible he was being, he then carried on the abuse that day so that put my theory out of the window. He said he has plenty of options anyway from the other women he was seeing!! my heart was in shreds then, he lied to me about that then went and slept with me!

He blocked me on facebook, whatsapp and instagram, i have been a mess and looking things online, narcissist came to mind as he was always so image conscious and he would look in the mirror at himself when we were having sex! some of the articles i read was so spot on! hes been so cold since the break up, i sent him an email after that abuse saying how i couldn't believe the things he said and to bring a 5 year old into it? and i thought i knew him but obviously i dont, i didnt get a response, i then was a mess one night (too many glasses of wine) sent him another email pouring out my heart to him, that we could just leave things the way they were, he didnt respond for a few days but then he acknowledged the email, he said just forget about me, i was going out that night so didnt want to ruin my night out so i did just that. 6 hours later he sent me another message saying it doesnt matter how we both feel about each other it will never work? so he reeled me back in, messages went back and forth, by the 2nd day i just said im not going to wait around like a lap dog waiting for you to decide whether you love me or not?? he should know that already, he said he loves me but not in love with me anymore. Thats the last i heard from him 3 weeks ago, my friend is still his friend on instagram and so i had a peek at his photos, literally days after we said our last words there is a picture of a woman in his bedroom (just her feet - red high heels!) and another picture of a woman in a pub, hes looking very happy with himself but she has her face covered?? i was so angry how could he move on so soon??

another email was then sent just to let him know id seen it and that he doesnt have a heart

im just trying to get my head round whether this is narcassict behaivour or whether he just didnt love me anymore? im very hurt right now and trying to get my life back together by enjoying time with my friends etc.

thanks for listening

Jun 15 - 4PM
Mwisho
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I can definitely related

Nenda

Apr 26 - 2PM
floster99
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Well Well Well!

Apr 26 - 11AM
floster99
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Well well well, received an

Apr 26 - 11AM
floster99
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Well well well, had an email

Apr 24 - 12PM
floster99
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The one thing he said to me

Apr 24 - 4PM (Reply to #3)
roontherocks
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I hate to say it but they were lies

Apr 24 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
floster99
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Well i didn't have the option

Apr 24 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
roontherocks
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Same same same

Apr 24 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
floster99
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Well seems they are all

Apr 24 - 12PM
roontherocks
roontherocks's picture

sounds like it to me