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cjtb's story

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#1 Sep 5 - 8PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

cjtb's story

I am still trying to find a way out . Almost 10 years of marriage, a lot of heartbreak and disappointment. I can't even count the number of times I have been lied to, ignored, accused, and made to feel like if only I had done more. I have found myself in legal trouble for his actions that I did not condone or agree with. The last eye opener for me has been him telling me that I act like I am not at all concerned with his life or feelings during the week I had spent at the hospital ICU making decisions like dnr orders and organ donation for my brother who was on life support and had a massive stroke. He died and I was the next of kin. I had to plan his funereal while this self absorbed n was trying to make me feel sorry for not giving him all my time. Needless to say, this was not the first time he was only concerned with himself, but for me, I am planning my escape so it will be the last.

Sep 6 - 11AM
cjtb (not verified)
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advice

I am wondering if other people have opened their eyes to what is going on and made a proactive plan to get out of the relationship. For example, getting their finances in order, protecting (hiding) important papers, talking in advance to a divorce attorney, etc. I am not living with a violent N or I would leave at any cost, but knowing I will be a single parent with limited resources, and not being able to depend on him for any help makes me worry about securing a life for my children and myself. Any advice on how to handle this situation with him while I am in the process of getting my ducks in a row would be be very much appreciated. I don't have any one to ask except an attorney.
Sep 5 - 10PM
Fawn
Fawn's picture

No Compassion

As you read through the posts on this site, you will find that so many of us have also experienced the complete lack of empathy and compassion that you experienced. The N's true colors really show when you are preoccupied with taking care of someone else. I myself experienced what you are talking about when my mother was dying. The N in my life was totally worthless and complained the entire time about the situation. His behavior got even worse when I was diagnosed with breast cancer a year later. Get out now. You have seen his true colors.
Sep 5 - 9PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

cjtb

call your local DV Crisis Center - ask to make an appt with an advocate asap - make an escape plan get a therapist for yourself onboard asap - do not tell him see a TOUGH divorce lawyer asap - see if you can have him removed from the home and a restraining order put on his ASAP. Keep reading our MESSAGE BOARD (ALL the pages) and MY BLOG which is full of good information. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck