Sex annd the Narcisist

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#1 Sep 14 - 11PM
lilliandiane
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Sex annd the Narcisist

Everybody says sex with a narc is great, but do you know what mine told me? We couldn't have oral sex because his tongue was too short! The hilarious thing is I think it was narcspeak! I could do him, but when it came time to giving to me that way, he developed a physical disability. How typical!

Sep 20 - 12AM
ValiditySeeker
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Sex with Short Dick Man

Was frustrating. His penis was very short (hence the nickname) and if our bodies moved more than an inch or so apart, it would fall out. It didn't always go back in straight; it might jab the side or miss completely. That meant you had to stop and put it back in until it happened again. Very frustrating. But instead of owning or even ignoring it (which I would have preferred) he acted like I had done something wrong. Or that my lady bits were were "too big." ( I was a 21 year-old virgin when I met him. He's full of shit!) And then there was the orgasm. In the beginning of the relationship, he seems concerned that I had one and would try to take his time. It would often last forever and ever and I would fake one just because it was enough. Later on, he used sex as part of the D&D. He'd wait until he thought I was nearing orgasm, then he'd finish quickly, making sure it didn't happen for me. He never once offered to give me a hand in other ways. "Too bad for you, maybe next time." Which would be whenever HE decided. If I initiated sex, he claimed it wasn't lovemaking but "just "fucking!" It got to where if I felt like I was going to orgasm, I would try not to breathe fast or make any sounds or give any indication that it was about to happen because I knew that like Lucy, he would pull that football out from under Charlie Brown's foot just as he went for the kickoff. I can't believe I didn't dump him instead of playing his sick games and trying to beat him at it. What was I thinking?! I don't want no short dick man!
Sep 19 - 10PM
Sunafterrain
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I bet this tops all of yours LOL!

The first time my disordered one and I ever had sex, he was on lying flat on his back, and I was on top and he was lying on a thingy that you put your feet on (OMG I can't remember what ya call it). we were all hot and bothered and he said to me, "go get a condom". I did. He pulled down his drawers, left everything else on top on, I put his penis in and two seconds later it was over and NOT A NOISE, except this little tiny "hmph" LOL! Now that I think about it, it was funny, so anyway, I faked an orgasm and he said, "hey,...what's going on down there?" roflol!!! I should have known then he was full of shit! How could you be married TWO TIMES and not know how to have sex or what an orgasm felt like? I BOUGHT that bullshit!!! OMG! But after that, he wanted it all the time and didn't have trouble "Performing" the intercourse, but of course, I did ALL the foreplay almost ALL of the time. It was totally exhausting. I always knew that I was going to have to do all the work everytime. It was expected. All he needed to do was lay there. UGH! I gave up so much sexually to be with him. So much......I wonder if they're all the same sexually with others too....
Sep 19 - 10PM (Reply to #45)
needing2know
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sunsfterrain

LMFAO!!! The first time we had sex, (mine has yours beat by a sec lol) as soon as he made contact he went off !! And he said OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO lol I was laughing so hard on the inside and I thought OH HELL NO!!! but thank goodness he never did that again! I cannot believe how much we all have in common with this lmao it is mind boggling
Sep 19 - 11PM (Reply to #46)
Sunafterrain
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roflol!!

needing! That is TOO funny.... It's so interesting to read all of the stories here...after reading it for awhile, the same patterns evolve over and over and over.....the more that is shared by those here, the more stuff I see. It is UNREAL!!!
Sep 19 - 7PM
Sunafterrain
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The kissing part

is really weird. Mine DID NOT like kissing. I rarely was kissed during sex, but would get pecks here and there out of bed. He was so weird about sex. In so many ways, I can't decide which was more dominant, the cerebral or somatic part. I just know he was a HUGE mind*uck!
Sep 19 - 7PM
Swan
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short tongue?

See I would have said "i could do you, but your d*ck is too short!"
Sep 19 - 7PM (Reply to #42)
lilliandiane
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Swan

HAHAHAHAHA!
Sep 19 - 7PM (Reply to #41)
needing2know
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swan

Too funny!
Sep 19 - 3PM
Goldie
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Hahaha

Yup, you had me on the floor. Mine would be fixing cars all day long with his hands and fingers, yet if he were required to touch me, he would say that his hand hurt. Ha ha ha, OMG, they leave you either speechless or laughing in hysterics. God bless, Goldie Oh yes, and of course he told me he was NOT into foreplay, kissing, tittie's, or P----, hmmm what else is there on a woman's body??? He made this announcement AFTER we had been together for a year and I was already sucked in by then. I have to admit that I laughed and was able not to take it personally because afterall, WHO SAYS THIS??? Oh yes a NARC!!!
Sep 19 - 7PM (Reply to #29)
foreverfun1
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omg mine said almost the same thing

but he made it clear from the start that he would never tongue kiss and didnt like kissing of any kind. and if i made a hint about oral sex he said he had a mouth sore so he couldnt lol. he never touched me at all which was ironic too since on one of his several dating profiles he said he loves to gives massages. in bed he would lay there with his eyes closed while i did everything, fucking dickhead.they are so hurtful, then he had the nerve to say i sucked in bed
Sep 19 - 7PM (Reply to #36)
lilliandiane
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We definitely didn't date the same guy

Well, my too-short tongued N LOVED to kiss! Of course I had to change the way I kissed because of the tongue deal but he was the only man I ever dated that could get h*rd just from kissing. And he was a good kisser, unlike my exh. Kissing HIM was like having a live goldfish in your mouth---yuck! But sex was never more than 1 time per session and then he would need days to recover--or so he said.
Sep 20 - 1PM (Reply to #39)
healingthromyangel
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wow

I thought my DARLING husband was the only one that got h***d from kissing. I started visiting this forum when I had a narc therapist, to heal from my nmom. I now know I have a pattern for nar relationships.. lol my point, it is so interesting to see the similarities.
Sep 19 - 8PM (Reply to #37)
needing2know
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Love the goldfish in mouth,

Love the goldfish in mouth, you know what I thought of when i read that lol did you see finding nemo , when Tori says BAD FISHY lmao thats funny I am laughing so hard right now thank you!
Sep 19 - 8PM (Reply to #38)
lilliandiane
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Happy to share

the lunacy:)
Sep 19 - 7PM (Reply to #30)
needing2know
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foreverfun1

lmao did we date the same guy??? lol my ex was the same damn way I kid you not!
Sep 19 - 7PM (Reply to #31)
foreverfun1
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needing2know

no way, it's mind boggling to know there are others who are this distinctly weird! i would be embarrassed to admit to anyone, except here, what i put up with, it's so bizarre and i don't even think most people would believe it. i'd watch a movie with him and a couple would kiss romantically on screen and i would wonder if he realized how odd it was that he never did this with me, nor anything romantic at all or affectionate ever. ugh it makes me so mad when i think about how bad we were treated. oh but he had no problem kissing, cuddling and talking sweet to the dog!
Sep 19 - 8PM (Reply to #35)
lilliandiane
lilliandiane's picture

maybe the common denominator

is that we ha to give up something WE enjoyed to be with the N. I didn't have to give up kssing but oral sex; someone else had to give up cuddling; someone else being told they were loved. None of the Ns could give the whole NORMAL package in the bedroom. And we adapted even though we wondered why we had to and felt jipped afterwards.
Sep 19 - 7PM (Reply to #32)
needing2know
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forever fun1

lmao I gotta ask this, did he look like he was concentrating really hard while his eyes were closed lmao
Sep 19 - 10PM (Reply to #33)
foreverfun1
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lmao needing2know

i love this site. yeah he usually did. he also had to take numerous breaks during sex to smoke his stupid weed
Sep 19 - 10PM (Reply to #34)
needing2know
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Mine didn't have to take

Mine didn't have to take breaks i did all the work lol he just laid there, i was always on top lmao! he has a bad knee and had a full knee replacement at the age of 49 he is now 51. But personally i think he was just to stinkin lazy to do anything! lmao but the look on his face of concentration, I will NEVER forget, i use to ask him why he was concentrating so hard lmao
Sep 15 - 11PM
rosedewittbukater
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Mine bragged about her prowess

She liked to refer to sex in terms of how powerful she was feelng at the time. She used words like brutalizing and referred to herself as a vicious stud. "I can f*** you into the next state and back Just what every nice girl wants to hear...agressive potty talk doesn't cut it for Rose, the sweet girl next door type
Sep 15 - 11PM (Reply to #26)
rosedewittbukater
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Girls

I told you this one could snowball!!!!
Sep 19 - 10PM (Reply to #27)
needing2know
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it may have snowballed , but

it may have snowballed , but you have to admit it is funny as hell! lmao
Sep 15 - 10AM
dabussard
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lol, his tongue was too short.. geeez

My N would never perform oral sex on me... Never... I would perform oral sex on him all the time and everytime.. But, the intercourse was to die for.. He always made me organism multiple times... Once as many as 20 times... He never had to ask me if I cum... Because he knew and was keeping track... Yep, I miss the sex, but not all the games that went with it...
Sep 15 - 9AM
KeshaN
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funny with my Narc he wanted

funny with my Narc he wanted to perform oral on me all the time. He once told me he would like it if i just asked him for at anytime and said he didn't care that I didnt do him a lot. Sounds like he wanted to please me right? Well i don't think that was the case. Everytime we had sex oral especially he would always ask me how well he did. This made me so uncomfortable. He would ask me if i has and orgasm and when i lied and said yes lol he would then ask me how many times? i found this annoying. But I lied everytime just to make him feel good and that is what he wanted. He wanted me to give him a compliment a job well done, a "Your such a good lover" he felt so happy when i told him he made me orgasm. On the other had the other times that I did do him he acted as if he was unmoved. I could tell he was trying to prevent hisself from orgasm and then he'd say "I made you orgasm but you didn't make me orgasm" I guess it was his HaHA im a better lover then you!
Sep 15 - 7PM (Reply to #23)
marisha
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Funny my x N drove me insane

Funny my x N drove me insane and unsure of myself as a woman, by critisizing my techniques or abiity. . He would be fully erect and insist that i dont arose him. . Or he would ejaculate even moan and than coldly said that he have no pleasure in sex with me and he comes purely out of physiological habbit. .its total gaslighting. .i know it now. . But for years it gave me insecurities. . And him it gave nice obedient lover in me who aimes to please at all costs!!! Only before the final break up i learned from OW who he did prior or parallel with me- that he was the same tactics with them as well. . .
Sep 15 - 9AM (Reply to #20)
onwithmylife
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KeshaN

interesting to hear your story,mine too was happy to do oral and loved it when I did it to him as well, When he did it to me, he was asking too how he was doing and he always talked about my exhusband, wanting to know how he rated in comparison to him and he would ask me about other lovers in my past, all while we were making love, their insecurities are VERY high within themselves trying to prove they are the best lovers and I told him that he was the best lover, which was true.the sad thing was it was all an act, not real love between two people.
Sep 15 - 2PM (Reply to #22)
Totally Stunned
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Yep - My narc thought he was

Yep - My narc thought he was the best lover in the world, and always always looked for praise, admiration of his skills and once, when I told him I had great sex with another man-he wanted me to recall and tell him one of his most amazing AHA moments so he could feel he was better. He thought he was casanova, could woo, seduce, flirt and win over any woman. Absolutely convinced he was the best in bed!!! CRAVED admiration. Ugh!
Sep 15 - 10AM (Reply to #21)
KeshaN
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He wasn't a bad lover. I just

He wasn't a bad lover. I just feel i was never comfortable with him enough to orgasm. Sometimes I did and would say I did but then he'd ask how many times and I felt I had to say what ever would make him feel good. I mean it was crazy because I have never been that into oral like that but he always assumed I wanted it so badly and just was scared to ask. Truth is he was and ok lover.
Sep 14 - 11PM
rosedewittbukater
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Oral

This is a very intimate act - way too intimate for an N