Screwed up BIG and broke NC-Painful mistake

NC=Pain, if any of you are thinking about breaking NC please don't do it. At a weak moment, I thought I was above it and gave in. BIG MISTAKE. I will spare you all the nasty details but through calls/texts delight quickly turned into blame into anger -end result me acting like a crazy person. I always thought he was with OW but never had any proof. Technically we are broken up but he wanted to "get back on track" ,we were going to have a heart to heart today and last night after a sext from him he is with OW/current girlfriend.

I am so upset with myself and my ridiculous behavior. I put my hand back on the stove and have to own it. I just feel so pathetic. I actually thought the outcome would be different; so painful. I know it's on me but I am overwhelmed at the moment. And so tired being in this space.

I am so thankful to be able to vent here as my family/friends are rightfully tired of me and my tears.

Thank you for listening..