Scared...he will do what he says

He is outside, so I had a moment to myself. I was finally ready to go to my attorney after all the back & forth this weekend, but something in his eyes showed me he is full of anger. He is in a desperate situation, unable to work (hurt & sick), so no money, no where to go, kind of just there.....well he just wanted to let me know he isn't speaking to me because he's not going back to jail...but if he has to go, I will be in the hospital for a very long time. I need to just shut my mouth & let everyone be happy & be nice & let it go. Well I'm not sure where it came from, but it got very cold & I thought if they serve him at home, I won't leave this home & if I leave he will find me because of our kids. I can't prove anything because he doesn't say this in front of people. I have tried to tape, but he won't speak. I think its desperation in his eyes, pure loss of control & I'm all that's left to control b4 he loses it. I had an appointment with a counselor this afternoon but I was afraid to go. Its like just stay & get the kids grown so they will be ok. Gone he's back