Saw XN and stripper gf

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#1 Aug 17 - 5PM
enoughalready
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Saw XN and stripper gf

I past them on the highway as I was going home. Thank God he didn't see me, but I saw him with his stripper gf for the first time in months. As weird as this may sound, I felt relief and free of his evilness for the first time. I had no feelings of anger, jealousy or sadness. I owe this to remaining NC as this website stresses. If I hadn't ignore his txts and maintained NC, I KNOW I would have felt jealously crazy and would have obsessed about his lies and deceptions. So women out there- please stay NC and trust your gut instincts- forget him and move on with your wonderful life. He is sooooo not worth any of your precious time, thoughts or pain. I feel sorry for his gf knowing that she will suffer the same way I suffered.

Aug 18 - 11AM
Used
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enough allready

a stripper ,hey how classy can they get,you cant get much classier than that.
Aug 18 - 1PM (Reply to #13)
Amy
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heh....

Yep - mine was the same way. Had a VIP membership to a strip club. I wouldn't put it past him to pay for a little extra - which is why I have something he gave me now. Jackass! A mutual friend told me that when we were broken up for a year, everyone asked where I was and they thought all the girls he brought around were white trash. Kinda funny. I attract executives and classy guys (and he is now a VP) but he lost the best when he lost me! :-)
Aug 19 - 8PM (Reply to #15)
enoughalready
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Amy

Yes, they are really scum of the earth. I'm so sorry you got something from him, but at least you can rid yourself of that with antibiotics. I too have been with "white collar" men and this one was the first and only "blue-collar' man I've been with. Big mistake! My XN would talk so negatively about strippers and now he's dating one. What a big hypocrite! They all are!
Aug 19 - 8PM (Reply to #14)
enoughalready
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Amy

Yes, they are really scum of the earth. I'm so sorry you got something from him, but at least you can rid yourself of that with antibiotics. I too have been with "white collar" men and this one was the first and only "blue-collar' man I've been with. Big mistake! My XN would talk so negatively about strippers and now he's dating one. What a big hypocrite! They all are!
Aug 18 - 10AM
CarolKittyGale (not verified)
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NC

You are so right, staying NC is the best way forward. I am so glad I read your post as I have been NC for 6 months and for the first time in ages I had a little wobble missing him and wondered how I would re-act if I saw him with the OW but I know I am better off away from him and I do have a wonderful life.
Aug 17 - 11PM
almostlydia
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Enoughalready

Do you feel free? Because as indifferent as I feel most of the time I dread this moment so much. I avoid driving pass where he works, I get nervous every time I go to one of the places he might be, I mean really shaky nervous for a minute until I don't see his car there and calm down. I almost want it to happen so I can just get it over with but at the same time, I know it's going to hurt deep. Just hearing that he had gone to Canada on a trip gnawed at me deep down. If I see him with another woman I think I will shake myself to death. My 'indifference' came when I realized he had been switchhitting with the young guy that was always around, there was no more choices in the matter of ever going back again. It was finally what broke the back of all of this madness. But to see him with another women....I just dread it sooooooo much. I know that after I come to my senses I will know 'well, thank God, it isn't me anymore because I know the nightmare the poor woman's got coming her way.' And if I could react in an actual stellar way, I would go right up and tell her how sorry I was for her and leave. Unfortunately, I have a feeling the real way it's going to go is someone is going to have to pick my ass up off the floor. It makes me wonder if I really am at the level of indifference as I thought I was. almostlydia

almostlydia

Aug 19 - 8PM (Reply to #9)
enoughalready
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almostlydia

I used to feel that if I saw him with OW , it would kill me inside. But, knowing who he is now, I can't help but think he was with OW all along. And I would rather see him with OW as long as he no longer has me in his life than to have seen him with OW while we were still intimate. I have been NC for 6 months and intermittently 6 months prior to 6 months of complete NC. I'm lucky and grateful I didn't get an STD, I'm relieved he is leaving me alone. I wouldn't know either way since I blocked all emails, FB,cell calls and txts. Since narcs are so predictable and so pathological, I know my XN will never change, she will get the same terrible treatment I received and endured. I do feel indifferent cause when I saw them both together, I felt nothing but relief.
Aug 19 - 11PM (Reply to #10)
almostlydia
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I really shouldn't dread it

I really shouldn't dread it so much after so many years of this one and that one, always denied but I always knew. It really shouldn't make any difference now, I got so jaded to it. Most often the dread is actually worse than the event. I'm sure that's all that it is. A weird thing happened the day I was driving home after 36 hrs at the hospital with my Mother. I came off the expressway with this overwhelming idea that he was around somewhere. I thought I saw him in one car but wasn't sure, then ten minutes later I did see him, at the bank in my neighborhood. I knew he was not there by accident but circling again. The wonderful part is that I just looked and kept on driving home mostly unaffected. I knew it was him, and he texted me later and confirmed it. I know it will be alright, I know I will think exactly as you did. I just hate how my whole body starts trembling over it all and I know I will not say the things I would like to say in the moment. I'm going to work on it tho. Get my lines prepared:) almostlydia

almostlydia

Aug 17 - 6PM
Leah2
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sorry--double post!

sorry--double post!
Aug 17 - 6PM
Leah2
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...and triple post!

...and triple post!
Aug 17 - 6PM
Leah2
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You are STRONG and that is

You are STRONG and that is really great to see. Well done for feeling relief. Hope to get to that stage, though things are less and less emotional. Keep going in the right direction. XOXO. Leah
Aug 19 - 8PM (Reply to #5)
enoughalready
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Leah2

You are going in the right direction too. Just do complete NC and within months, you will be feeling better. XOXO
Aug 17 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
M
M's picture

and know..

that a stripper is only with him because she thinks he has money.
Aug 19 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
enoughalready
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-M

And yes I do know. The only thing he has going for him is his 2003 BMW which he bought through steroid selling money -black market. He was driving her in his BMW when I saw them together. Other than his BMW, he was nothing to show for himself as gambling has taken what little money he has and earns.
Aug 20 - 1AM (Reply to #4)
M
M's picture

enoughalready

Mine leased cars---so he has nothing. That's why I cannot be flustered with the "next woman". She either knows NOTHING of his debts & thinks he has tons of $$ (wrong)...or she is stupid enough to give him $$. And I do NOT want to put me..or my daughter in that spot.